Advice Please.

missnimrod

So my paternal grandma just passed away 2 weeks ago and she was invited to our wedding in August. Well, I didn't invite any of my dad's siblings because we really do not know them well and the ones we do have no understanding of word polite. Well at my grandma's funeral my dad's sister told him, TOLD HIM, that she will come to my wedding in place of grandma and going to stay with him, the only problem is she is NOT invited and they don't have the room. Now here is where it may sound bad but, neither my groom nor myself or my father want her to attend because she loud and obnoxious. I told my dad that I am not going to send her an invite so she hopefully will not appear. Am I in the right if she calls my dad(considering we are paying for the wedding) for him to say, "it's not my place to invite you to my daughter's wedding" and just leave it at that?

aleighk1

Well, what does he have to say about it? Does he feel comfortable saying that to his own sister?

jrkjpf

"Am I in the right if she calls my dad(considering we are paying for the wedding) for him to say, "it's not my place to invite you to my daughter's wedding" and just leave it at that?"

If i were your dad, this is exactly what i would say. Double period.

beckys67

No one should be inviting themselves to your wedding. If your dad don't mind saying it then let him say it. If he doesn't feel comfortable then you should.

NOLAbridealmost

I am so sorry for your loss.

No, it's not rude for your dad who is not hosting to say that he has no control over your guest list. 

And no, it's not rude for you to not invite an aunt who you barely know. 

And I agree with you: someone who asks if they're invited to a wedding does, indeed, NOT know the meaning of the word polite. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

It's not hard to see why you don't want to invite her.

sarah0632

In Response to Re: Advice Please.:
[QUOTE]It's not hard to see why you don't want to invite her.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Couldn't have said it better. I'm sorry you lost your grandma and now have to deal with this. Just be upfront and honest. If your dad doesn't mind saying that I think it's fine, just know what to say when she might call you wondering where her invite is or trying to get her way in there.

missnimrod

Well she lives out of state and wants to take the train but someone needs to pick her up in Denver, my dad said he doesn't know anyone who would get her. I'm mostly upset she is inviting herself and expects my dad to say it's okay. He was the one who told me she said this, he doesn't want her there and doesn't mind telling her she isn't invited. And for her to think she can be here in place of her own mother, personally I am mad out of respect for my grandma and I think it's messed up! I she doesn't have enough info to crash because my grandma had only received the save-the-date before she passed.

jesibel14

Just don't send her an invitation.  If you dad wants to take the extra step of telling her that she is not invited and you don't have an existing relationship with her that you're concerned about damaging, then by all means let him. 

jesibel14

And I'm sorry for your loss

verityverity

The poor woman just lost her mother.  That does not excuse her behavior, but maybe could help explain it?  Invite who you want to, of course, but maybe being with her family at this time could help your aunt cope with her grief.  Just a thought.