help letting people know we are doing 'no kids'

lynds230

So I am sure other people have asked this but I didn't see it recently asked...so here goes. My FI and I are both on the same 'no kids' at the wedding/reception page, for multiple reasons: saving some space, saving money, allowing space for other adult guests, and also because we just have been to so many weddings the past few years where kids have been disruptive during the ceremony to the point where I had trouble hearing the vows! And for some reason, more often than not the parents are either really slow to get them out of the church or don't bother at all...anyway:

I just saw my cousin at Easter, who assumed her two young (3 and 5) boys were invited to our PA wedding (we all live in CO).  If the kids are not included on the guest list, it probably makes it hard for her to make it as well. Since it was so chaotic at Easter I didn't correct her and figured I would talk to her about it this week sometime when there weren't 20 people in the kitchen/dining room trying to talk and watch all the kids. I'm just looking/hoping for a good tactful way to tell her the deal before the invitations go out, before she books a hotel room and flights and all that! My coworkers tell me it's not up to me how our guests handle what to do with their kids, but I am feeling bad still and am hoping there's a 'good' way to handle the situation.

ac_in_dc

I'd  send her an e-mail--something along the lines of:
...it was great to see you at easter, I really hope you and Mr. Cousin can make it out to colorado in a few months. Just an FYI we're not having kids at the wedding, but if you want to bring the little ones out here to see some of the other sites, I can research some childcare options for the day of the wedding.

If folks do wind up making the long trip out to your wedding and bring their kids, I think it would be nice to make the effort to see the kiddos at some point, either with a scheduled event or something informal.

lynds230

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_letting-people-doing-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1dffead-b213-40f3-8c6f-2f7142e73fcbPost:c3a06d6a-4465-42ff-96d8-e153c8efd9e8">Re: help letting people know we are doing 'no kids'</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd  send her an e-mail--something along the lines of: ...it was great to see you at easter, I really hope you and Mr. Cousin can make it out to colorado in a few months. Just an FYI we're not having kids at the wedding, but if you want to bring the little ones out here to see some of the other sites, I can research some childcare options for the day of the wedding. If folks do wind up making the long trip out to your wedding and bring their kids, I think it would be nice to make the effort to see the kiddos at some point, either with a scheduled event or something informal.
Posted by ac_in_dc[/QUOTE]
Thanks AC...I am thinking something along those lines as well, helping find some sort of childcare options either at the venue or through maybe some of my sister's friends who live in the area. I didn't really want to go that route but for the sake of family coming from far distances, I don't mind helping! I am just hoping that the local guests will want to or be able to coordinate with their regular sitters so that the cost of the childcare doesn't end up being more than the cost of having kids at the reception in the first place, hahaha. :)