Etiquette

Wearing white to weddings rant

I've seen far too many stores and clothing websites displaying white dresses to wear as a guest of a wedding (i.e. Nordstrom, Saks, etc).  Yes, the dresses are short, but THEY ARE STILL WHITE.

I get that a guest is an adult and that you cannot tell them how to dress.  And that pointing out a rude guest is not worth the fuss or trouble, and would only make the bride look bad.  I also know that no one is going to confuse them for the bride.  But that's not the point of the no-white rule....it's just that it's rude.  White is the bride's color.

When I see guests at weddings wearing white I think: either they are uninformed or don't care, neither of which are good things.  And it makes me want to go throw a huge sack over their dress.

Ok, end of rant :)
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Re: Wearing white to weddings rant

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:75693edd-7c45-4b0b-af81-959ca4cc5751">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nordstrom's website has a section for "Guest-At-A-Wedding-Dresses"? That's new. Or are you just talking about cocktail-style white dresses in general?
    Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

    Not a section on there anymore.  I just remember a few months ago when Spring was coming around the corner they did a post on summer outfit ideas and featured a white dress to wear to a summer wedding reception. 

    Then Saks' Facebook page featured a white dress as the "perfect oufit for a summer wedding"
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:1ed41134-fe82-498d-8ff8-94a378f415f1">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think I could tell you the color that any of our guests wore without looking at a photograph first.  I don't understand the fuss over anyone wearing a particular color to a wedding.  <strong>No one will notice.  Or care.
    </strong>Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    I noticed that my aunt wore a white, tea-length lace dress to my wedding. As a second time bride in my 40s, it could have passed as my wedding dress. I gave her a bit of a side-eye at her choice (but moreso for RSVP'ing yes for her and her 2 daughters, then leaving the 2 daughters at home without telling me so I didn't have to pay for their plates. She's kinda clueless like that.)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:1448b376-084a-44c1-b2d2-360490b1c7a8">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wearing white to weddings rant : I noticed that my aunt wore a white, tea-length lace dress to my wedding. As a second time bride in my 40s, it could have passed as my wedding dress. I gave her a bit of a side-eye at her choice (but moreso for RSVP'ing yes for her and her 2 daughters, then leaving the 2 daughters at home without telling me so I didn't have to pay for their plates. She's kinda clueless like that.)
    Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

    My friends and I always notice those women who wear white at weddings.  Some people notice.
  • guilty of noticing here
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:2552f0cb-ec34-4b6a-99fb-7dceef7314ff">Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've seen far too many stores and clothing websites displaying white dresses to wear as a guest of a wedding (i.e. Nordstrom, Saks, etc).  Yes, the dresses are short, but THEY ARE STILL WHITE. I get that a guest is an adult and that you cannot tell them how to dress.  And that pointing out a rude guest is not worth the fuss or trouble, and would only make the bride look bad.  I also know that no one is going to confuse them for the bride.  But that's not the point of the no-white rule....it's just that it's rude.  White is the bride's color.<strong> When I see guests at weddings wearing white I think: either they are uninformed or don't care, neither of which are good things.  And it makes me want to go throw a huge sack over their dress.</strong> Ok, end of rant :)
    Posted by elizabeth121985[/QUOTE]

    Why would you let what other people wear bother you so much? Who cares? I don't remember what most people wore to my wedding, except my MIL because she looked awesome.
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  • annakb8annakb8 member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:0c0fc155-d536-452d-bc0f-8d85e1a5634d">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]guilty of noticing here
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

    Me too. I notice. I don't think it's a huge deal, but how difficult is it to find a dress in any other color?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:e041837c-3850-464c-ba0a-1a692ceded4b">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wearing white to weddings rant : My friends and I always notice those women who wear white at weddings.  Some people notice.
    Posted by elizabeth121985[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, but the guest who wears the white dress is the one who is going to look like an idiot, not the bride. I'm not really sure why the bride is always so concerned. People received the invitation with the bride's name on it, so they obviously know she is the bride, not the random guest with a white dress on.</div>
  • As a guest I would probably notice, but I wouldn't actually care or be upset about it. OP seems to be actually upset about it and that's what I think is ridiculous.

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  • So what happens when the bride doesn't wear white? 

    What if - she decides to wear pink?  does this mean all the guests wearing pink have to run home and change?

    The worry about what others are wearing is just all kinds of weird.

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  • Rosie is killing me.

    I wouldn't wear white to a wedding, but I can't say that I notice when other people wear it. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:2552f0cb-ec34-4b6a-99fb-7dceef7314ff">Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've seen far too many stores and clothing websites displaying white dresses to wear as a guest of a wedding (i.e. Nordstrom, Saks, etc).  Yes, the dresses are short, but THEY ARE STILL WHITE. I get that a guest is an adult and that you cannot tell them how to dress.  And that pointing out a rude guest is not worth the fuss or trouble, and would only make the bride look bad.  I also know that no one is going to confuse them for the bride.  But that's not the point of the no-white rule....it's just that it's rude.  White is the bride's color. <strong>When I see guests at weddings wearing white I think: either they are uninformed or don't care, neither of which are good things. </strong> And it makes me want to go throw a huge sack over their dress. Ok, end of rant :)
    Posted by elizabeth121985[/QUOTE]

    Agreed. It doesn't hurt anyone, but it's poor etiquette. Either you don't know etiquette - in which case what other etiquette rules are you breaking? - or you're intentionally disregarding a simple rule, which is a jerk move. There are 34352 other shades of color to wear to a wedding.
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  • Bitter, party of OP... It is annoying, sure, and I would maybe notice as a guest if that person were seated close to me. But nothing to get all worked up over.
  • mica178mica178 member
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    I used to work at Nordstrom years ago.  I was unaware that there's a section for guests of weddings.  I just thought there was an area where they sold cocktail dresses.  I learn something new every day.

    OP -- I'm a little confused about your rant.  You're right, guests should know better.    I confess that I notice when people (oher than the bride) wear all white  to weddings.  However, I don't know what fussing over the outfit of a person already at the wedding will accomplish.

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  • I don't know that she's getting worked up. It's not like she's asking for a way to MAKE SURE no one wears white to her wedding. Or that she's confessing to spilling wine on women wearing white cocktail dresses. But if you can't talk about/vent about this on an etiquette board, where can you, really?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:1ed41134-fe82-498d-8ff8-94a378f415f1">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think I could tell you the color that any of our guests wore without looking at a photograph first.  I don't understand the fuss over anyone wearing a particular color to a wedding.  No one will notice.  Or care.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]
    I noticed my mom's bff all up in her ivory (same shade as my dress) suit and it irked me a little. Not enough to say anything to anyone about it, but I noticed.
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  • I notice when other people wear white at weddings, and I judge them.  As a bride, I would be annoyed, but I wouldn't let it ruin my day.
  • annakb8annakb8 member
    2500 Comments
    Maybe it's only me, but I can only think of a few occasions where I would wear solid white anyway: my wedding, graduation, first communion/confirmation, and sorority rituals. I just don't really feel comfortable wearing all white other times. I don't judge other people if they do, it's just not something I do personally.
  • I definitely give people the side eye when they wear white to weddings.  Right, it's not a huge deal, but it's also not a huge deal to just find a dress in a different color.  And I understand nobody is going to confuse who the bride is, but it just seems rude to me to wear white to someone else's wedding.
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  • I judge what others are wearing every single day, so yea, I notice white on a guest at a wedding.  I think it's rude because, come on, there isn't a soul who DOESN'T know that rule.  As a bride, I think it's more sensible to take the "who cares" route.  But as a guest, I'm judging you. 

    Rosie, you have my heart. 
  • Yeah, didn't wear white to my own wedding. Ivory, pewter, and copper cocktail dress.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:18925bad-c111-455e-912f-6a397d3f368a">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know that she's getting worked up. It's not like she's asking for a way to MAKE SURE no one wears white to her wedding. Or that she's confessing to spilling wine on women wearing white cocktail dresses. But if you can't talk about/vent about this on an etiquette board, where can you, really?
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    This.  It's just that: a rant.  I never said I would drown myself in tears if someone wore white to a wedding (mine or anyone elses).

    It's just that I think it's rude to do so. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:82f3369b-47c6-45a8-ae68-b5b7e261bc16">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]I notice when other people wear white at weddings, and I judge them.  As a bride, I would be annoyed, but I wouldn't let it ruin my day.
    Posted by TheCranberry[/QUOTE]

    This.  I can't comment yet as to what I'll notice on my wedding day, but I generally think the guests notice more than the bride.  I know I did when I was at a wedding where a girl came in a white dress.  Some people were very vocal about it, especially the bride's old-fashioned great aunt who actually asked the girl to change or put on a jacket because she was being rude.  The bride certainly didn't seem to even notice, but I'll bet that girl will never wear white to a wedding again after the dirty looks she got from the other guests.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:441ba443-6756-4fad-83e7-d7270f6ff577">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe it's only me, but I can only think of a few occasions where I would wear solid white anyway: my wedding, graduation, first communion/confirmation, and sorority rituals. I just don't really feel comfortable wearing all white other times. I don't judge other people if they do, it's just not something I do personally.
    Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

    Agreed. I said that once and a few people said they like to wear white for summer because it seems breezy and cool. I think the wearing white thing is more of a "problem" at summer weddings. But 1) white isn't flattering on me and 2) barely a day goes by when I don't spill food or drink on myself, so yeah.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wearing-white-weddings-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c1e45fc7-345b-4cf7-b424-1360763a10a4Post:44cc43be-cbb6-4ea5-be0f-fb8cd4791e81">Re: Wearing white to weddings rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wearing white to weddings rant : This.  I can't comment yet as to what I'll notice on my wedding day, but I generally think the guests notice more than the bride.  I know I did when I was at a wedding where a girl came in a white dress.  Some people were very vocal about it, especially the bride's old-fashioned great aunt who actually asked the girl to change or put on a jacket because she was being rude.  The bride certainly didn't seem to even notice, but I'll bet that girl will never wear white to a wedding again after the dirty looks she got from the other guests.
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

    *snort*
    I'm picturing the Weasley aunt at Bill and Fleur's wedding who just would NOT shut up about Rita Skeeter's Dumbledore expose. 

    Sadly, the aunt at this wedding was just as rude as the girl in white for pointing it out.  Always best to just whisper among your tablemates, I say. 
  • I feel like the OP is less about wearing white than it is about wedding-related corporations encouraging people to do things that are bad etiquette just to make money.

    And I can certainly take out my torches and pitchforks for that. Booooo bad-etiquette capitalism!
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