Wedding Etiquette Forum

Thank you note question-what would you do?

Hi ladies,

We received a gift before our shower, and I want to get the thank you note(s) done as soon as possible.  Here's the situation: the gift giver(s) couldn't attend the shower, so they sent the package to my parents's house.  My mom couldn't stand having it in the house, so she made FI pick it up and take it to our place.  When I opened it, there was only one name as the gift giver (my mom's cousin) listed on the slips.  There was no gift receipt/card/etc inside.

My dad said he thought the gift was from 5 of my mom's cousins and her aunt.  I only have one name on the slip.  I don't want to leave anyone out of thanking them, so what should I do? My mom at the time refused to find out who went in on the gift (if at all), and she is still refusing to do so.

Thoughts???

Re: Thank you note question-what would you do?

  • aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited March 2012
    Can you call the cousin whose name was on the slip and try to casually ask about it? I'm not exactly certain how to word that, but I'm thinking that's your best bet for thanking all those involved.
    Lizzie
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-note-question-what-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c20d3a39-3120-4f52-869b-d2a11ced6835Post:1b171a78-af05-4a4b-82ee-8b0532ea43fc">Re: Thank you note question-what would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can you call the cousin whose name was on the slip and try to casually ask about it? I'm not exactly certain how to word that, but I'm thinking that's your best bet for thanking all those involved.
    Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

    I can do that, definitely.  I'd have to figure out wording though.  The only thing is that cousin is on vacation until mid next week. We got the gift at the end of last week.  Is that too long to wait? I don't want to be rude making someone wait for acknoweldgement of the gift.
  • You could use this:  Hi Cousin!  I love the little toaster oven that you sent me last week!  I was telling my parents how much I loved your gift when my dad said that auntie ester & other cousins went in on the gift as well!  I just want to make sure I thank everyone who contributed to such a wonderful gift! 


    And I think you'll be fine on the time.  Its not like she is out of the country for a month. . .
  • why did your mom freak about having the gift at her place & why is she refusing to talk to her own family? This baffles me. 

    I agree with the timeline, you will be fine. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-note-question-what-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c20d3a39-3120-4f52-869b-d2a11ced6835Post:7d7d4a42-3528-4a3d-8753-4fe43de737ce">Re: Thank you note question-what would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]why did your mom freak about having the gift at her place & why is she refusing to talk to her own family? This baffles me.  I agree with the timeline, you will be fine. 
    Posted by sweetcanadian1979[/QUOTE]


    My mom can't stand even having an envelope that comes in the mail for my brother or I at the house.  We've changed our addresses, but sometimes stuff still gets sent there, and she freaks out.  She thinks it's clutter or whatever.  Even if we tell her to toss the mail, she finds a way to hunt us down to give it to us.  She decided 8 weeks before my wedding would be a good time to rip up the floors on the second floor of the house and have everything redone.  So, getting this gift apparently sent her over the edge because she didn't think she had a place to put it.  No one understands her.  I don't care that she decided to do the floors and re do things at the house, but it was a choice she made.  So now when she says she can't come to things wedding related (a fitting, a tasting, etc) she gets upset with me cause I won't reschedule it to work on her renovation schedule. 

    She's suddenly having emotional breakdowns around her family. A cousin I thought she was super close to is now suddenly mortal enemy #1.  There's no reasoning with her.  She just has fits about who she will talk to and who she won't, and it's causing rifts.  I'm on her hit list too most of the time.

    I'll use the wording PP suggested, and won't worry about the timeline.  I guess I just don't want my mom's behavior reflecting badly on me.
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