no engagement ring down the aisle

tgaucin

I am new here so sorry if this is in the wrong area. I have been reading posts and looking and pictures. What are you suppose to do with you engagement ring the day of your wedding? I know you can't have the ring on you wedding ring finger during the wedding. I see pics of people with their engagement ring on their right hand. Some pics of no ring at all. Help please

AdeleDazeem

It's whatever you want to wear down the aisle.

Some put their e-ring on their right hand.

Some leave their e-ring on their left hand and switch the rings after the ceremony.

I wanted to tie my e-ring in my bouquet but there wasn't enough time!

Bkseller13

I had no ring because we had it soldered to the band a few days before the wedding.  I wore my great grandmother's engagement ring until the morning of the wedding, then took it off.  I don't really think there's any ettiquette about it other than the wedding band is supposed to go on first, closest to the base of the finger.  Don't overthink it.  If you overthink everything, you'll go BSC!

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-ring-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2357893-ee26-4e0e-a8a5-7126f15442b9Post:0526bb61-b34b-48ef-b742-364285366ec5">no engagement ring down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]I am new here so sorry if this is in the wrong area. I have been reading posts and looking and pictures. What are you suppose to do with you engagement ring the day of your wedding? <strong>I know you can't have the ring on you wedding ring finger during the wedding.</strong> I see pics of people with their engagement ring on their right hand. Some pics of no ring at all. Help please
Posted by tgaucin[/QUOTE]
Sure you can. Why not?

Do whatever you want. Some people just wear their engagement ring like normal, and put the wedding band on top, then switch it after the ceremony. Some people just skip wearing their e-ring altogether for the ceremony. It's whatever you want to do. I wore my engagment ring on my right hand, so that my wedding band would always go on first. That's mainly because I'm ridiculously superstitious and I've never put my engagement ring on before my wedding band since getting married.

krizzo17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-ring-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2357893-ee26-4e0e-a8a5-7126f15442b9Post:3dea773e-8be2-4ae1-8fc8-efa2f471d44a">Re: no engagement ring down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to no engagement ring down the isle : You can either wear it on your right hand or have your MOH hold it.  My sister (MOH) was nervous she'd lose it so I just left it with the wedding band in the room upstairs.<strong> I couldn't wear it because Jews can't use diamonds in the ceremony.
</strong>Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

Why not? My fi laughs at me for knowing all sorts of random facts about Judaism because of where I grew up, and I've never heard of this. I feel like I've failed him (and I'm also fascinated by wedding traditions/rituals)

AllAboutTheBenjamin

You can do whatever you want with the engagement ring, there's no rules!

I had my engagement ring soldered to my wedding band a couple weeks before the ceremony.

Matty143

I wore my e-ring on my left hand. I had so many things to think about that morning that I forgot to switch hands.
H just put my wedding bands on top and I moved them after the ceremony.

Like PPs said, do what you like!
Good luck

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-ring-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2357893-ee26-4e0e-a8a5-7126f15442b9Post:cd9813ce-706b-454d-87a0-fc71dd97cee3">Re: no engagement ring down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]It's a personal decision. I wore my e-ring on my left hand as normal. H put my wedding band on top of my e-ring and I flipped them after the ceremony.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

This is what I'm planning to do.

jemmini6

As PP's said, it's whatever you feel the most comfortable with.

I had my e-ring and wedding bands (I have 2 small ones on either side) soldered together about 2 weeks before the wedding, so I didn't wear any rings during that time until my H put them on my finger during our ceremony.

Bonzo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-ring-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2357893-ee26-4e0e-a8a5-7126f15442b9Post:89c59252-5c22-4f64-b1fb-c7d703a4a3e9">Re: no engagement ring down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: no engagement ring down the isle : Why not? My fi laughs at me for knowing all sorts of random facts about Judaism because of where I grew up, and I've never heard of this. I feel like I've failed him (and I'm also fascinated by wedding traditions/rituals)
Posted by krizzo17[/QUOTE]



The way my rabbi explained it, the groom is marrying the bride for who she is, not for the jewels she might bring to the marriage (dowry). The wedding band used in the ceremony is also supposed to be plain gold, with no engraving or stones, so that the value of his gift to her can be easily recognized for the legal acquisition of the bride.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-ring-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2357893-ee26-4e0e-a8a5-7126f15442b9Post:cd9813ce-706b-454d-87a0-fc71dd97cee3">Re: no engagement ring down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]It's a personal decision. I wore my e-ring on my left hand as normal. H put my wedding band on top of my e-ring and I flipped them after the ceremony.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]


This is what I did.

When H proposed, he tried to put the e-ring on my right hand. So having my e-ring on my left hand during the ceremony also helped him aim for the right finger. :-)

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-ring-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2357893-ee26-4e0e-a8a5-7126f15442b9Post:cece3697-95df-4934-9ecb-25e7ae5990bc">Re: no engagement ring down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: no engagement ring down the isle : I'm pretty sure it's because the ceremony is about getting married and they don't want any focus on shiny things like diamonds.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

I have never heard of that, maybe that's just the preference of certain rabbis.  You are supposed to use a band without stones in the ring exchange, but that's for a different reason (it's supposed to be unbroken and uninterrupted) and doesn't have to do with what other jewelry you wear.

I wore my e ring on my right hand during the ceremony, and then switched it to be on top of my wedding band afterwards.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-ring-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2357893-ee26-4e0e-a8a5-7126f15442b9Post:311fa7ae-59f0-4565-a143-f27e4df4e4a2">Re: no engagement ring down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: no engagement ring down the isle : This is what I did. When H proposed, he tried to put the e-ring on my right hand. So having my e-ring on my left hand during the ceremony also helped him aim for the right finger. :-)
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Haha.  I moved my ring to my right hand for the ceremony and my husband got confused.  I quietly said "other hand" when he was holding the ring. 

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-ring-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2357893-ee26-4e0e-a8a5-7126f15442b9Post:ee96d547-97ae-4ef1-8514-37beb95d659c">Re: no engagement ring down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: no engagement ring down the isle : Maybe it is rabbi's preference because my dad thought it could be okay if it was solid but my rabbi said no.  My e-ring has very small slits on either side of the diamond so even if diamonds were okay it wasn't unbroken.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

In my understanding, a stone would count as a break in the metal, so that's why it wouldn't be allowed--this is for the wedding band, though, not any other piece of jewelry, because the ring is actually part of the ceremony.  That was kind of the message from all the rabbis we spoke with.  The cantor that ended up marrying us was ok with us having engraved the bands beforehand, though, for whatever reason.  Another reason that comes to my mind is the ascertainable value issue, and I imagine it would be harder to say how much a wedding band with 2 little diamonds and 3 little sapphires would be, for example, than just a plain band. 

Clearly a lot of interpretations, not surprised, though :)

kcscejal

I incorporated my e ring ino the ceremony, so the best man held it before. I had the officiant say something about how it represented a promise to marry, and to place it over my wedding band to show the promise has been fulfilled or something.

Kate61487

I thought about having H put both on my finger during the ceremony, b/c my e-ring and band interlock, but decided the chances of the BM successfully transferring him two rings, him getting them lined up, and getting them both on my finger at the same time in the right direction were pretty slim, haha.

like PPs I just wore it on my left hand.  H put the wedding band over it and after the ceremony I flipped them and got them set into each other correctly.  You can do pretty much whatever you want (unless, like PP said, your* church has a restricition)

*typo

ginadog

My e-ring will be taken off and used in the ceremony as the wedding ring.

amys325

I think I wore my e-ring on my left finger, then during the exchanging of the rings, I removed it, H put my wedding band on, then I put my e-ring back on.

It's really no big deal and no one will really notice what you do.

The only time I noticed something odd during the exchanging of the rings is when a bride was putting the ring on her H, she was holding the ginormous box in her hand right in front of the perfect photo ops of her putting the ring on his hand.

TheBeckmeister

My e-ring didn't fit on my right hand ring finger, so I wore it on my right hand pinky for the ceremony, then put it over my wedding band later.  

I was recently a MOH, and I wore the bride's engagement ring on my right hand for her ceremony (she had a right-hand ring she really wanted to wear instead), then gave it back to her after the ceremony.

rebarobert2012

I'm planning to wear my e-ring on my left hand as usual, have my fiance put my wedding band on top of my e-ring, and then switch them after the ceremony.

jsleik

I just had him put both rings on my finger at the same time.  But I don't think it even crossed my mind until that morning!

mandctaft

My right hand is bigger than my left so I won't be wearing my e-ring on my right. I'll either be wearing in normally then flipping the rings later, or I just won't wear it. Haven't figured it out yet. But there is no right or wroing. You could wear it on your nose if you wanted to.

specialk84

My mom held my e-ring, then gave it back to me in the church office immediately following the ceremony.

At the rehearsal, H had a hard time figuring out which hand he was supposed to put the ring on. Our minister told me to thrust my left hand at him, which he said helped tremendously.

Fun fact: My H fidgets. In the limo ride to the reception, before we'd even left the church parking lot, he fidgeted his ring right off his finger and had to get his nephew to find it on the limo floor. He was teased.

Bonzo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-ring-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2357893-ee26-4e0e-a8a5-7126f15442b9Post:62b8daf2-c9bb-4a31-9b8d-2e52b1656c23">Re: no engagement ring down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: no engagement ring down the isle : I think so too, and agreed :)
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]



(for some reason TK didnt let me quote the post with the line you bolded, which is really what I'm responding to as well)
There are always lots of interpretations for Jewish customs. Like the old joke goes, get two Jews together and they'll start three synagogues! It's one of the things I love about Jewish traditions.