STFU.

NuggetBrain

So Noodle just called me upset because the usher in our wedding party somehow just figured out that our wedding is on a Friday (even though we sent STDs and invites out already, and made a point of mentioning it to him when we asked him to be in the wedding).  Anyways, this usher spent 25 minutes bitching on the phone about having to take time off of work to be involved in the wedding.  He even threw in how "selfish and inconsiderate people could think we were being" as a "friendly warning".  Bear in mind, our wedding is in 4 weeks.  Now, I fully understand how some people feel about Friday weddings.  I am aware that some people are probably not thrilled at having to take a half day or leave work an hour early.  I understand if they grumble about that.  But, and maybe this is just me, why the f*ck would you grumble to the groom about it??  Hell, I guess I could even understand a passing "Damn, I'll have to remember to take work off" or something, but seriously, 25 minutes??  Now Noodle feels like crap, and I'm pissed off and want to kick the usher square in the junk.

Nebb

I think the usher needs to update his reading skills if he JUST figured out this late in the game that its a friday.

ashmy211

I don't get people. We've had 3 people RSVP yes to our wedding then call to say they cannot come because they just realized it was Mother's Day weekend. It's been Mother's Day weekend since we sent out our STD's 6 months ago. AND, the daughter, mother, and father were all coming to the wedding so they were going to be together either way.

andyandhillary

I'll kick him in the knee caps for you if you want.

FutureMrsDudley55

It's the usher's own fault for not reading the STD and invite correctly. He had no right to do that. What an ass.

NuggetBrain

I think he is having trouble getting the time off because he sat on his ass and waited until the last minute, and instead of taking responsibility for it is now bitching about how we are having a wedding at an inopportune time.

impslave

Fail on the usher's part if he just now realized the day of your wedding.

Nebb

Your usher sounds like a champ.

FutureMrsDudley55

Yup, he's just looking to blame someone else for his own mistake.

NuggetBrain

His nickname is D*ckhead.  And it's not a facetious nickname.

luckyme502

If I was noodle, I would have laughed at him and been like, you just now figured out it was Friday?  Then I would have hung up, walked away.  I wouldn't let someone bitch at me for 25 minutes. 

eastunder1

I agree with him that Friday weddings suck but have some tact, friend.  Bitch about it to someone else, not THE GROOM.  Thats just poor manners. 

LesPaul

I would be happy to leave work early on a Friday to do something fun like participate in a friend's wedding.

FutureMrsTR

Just have Noodle tell him, "Well man, I'm sorry you might not be able to make it, but if you can't, no big deal!"  see how he likes no one caring if he's not there.

salt78

Call me crazy, but I get excited when I can leave work early. 

Kristin789

LuckyMe has the best answer.

Noodle should have interrupted the rant and said, "Wow, I get that you're mad about this - are you saying you aren't going to be able to come to the wedding?'

And after the guy sputters and says, "What?  No.  I'm coming, but I wanted to..."

Noodle should have said, "Oh, so you just wanted to yell at me about it?  I'm really sorry Dave, but I have to get off the phone right now.  We'll talk again another time." 

Click.

wcvsb3b5

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stfu-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23e886f-fe87-4b86-9627-e20ee32c6157Post:cda0195c-5a5a-4d0d-ad28-a04d64feaa54">Re: STFU.</a>:
[QUOTE]Call me crazy, but I get excited when I can leave work early. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Me too! Especially when it is for something that my boss, no doubt, can understand as a good reason.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stfu-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23e886f-fe87-4b86-9627-e20ee32c6157Post:cda0195c-5a5a-4d0d-ad28-a04d64feaa54">Re: STFU.</a>:
[QUOTE]Call me crazy, but I get excited when I can leave work early. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

I always think the same thing when people talk about hating Friday weddings.  Sure, sometimes it's not always easy to take time off, etc, but I'lI enjoy an afternoon off for a wedding. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Ash, your wedding is actually on my BIRTHDAY weekend, thankyouverymuch. My friend asked me if I call my mom or if she calls me on that day. I feel birthdays trump mother's day. I mean, I'll call her on HER birthday.

But I'd still go to the wedding of a close friend, even if it was my birthday weekend.

ashmy211

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stfu-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23e886f-fe87-4b86-9627-e20ee32c6157Post:9d430a80-19a0-4140-b5fe-183638ee8690">Re: STFU.</a>:
[QUOTE]Ash, your wedding is actually on my BIRTHDAY weekend, thankyouverymuch. My friend asked me if I call my mom or if she calls me on that day. I feel birthdays trump mother's day. I mean, I'll call her on HER birthday. But I'd still go to the wedding of a close friend, even if it was my birthday weekend.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Geez good thing I don't know you IRL or you could totally skip out on my wedding because you found out your birthday is the same day a month before the wedding... haha. I think the people who backed out on us just didn't want to travel anymore. The adult daughter lives with her parents, and her parents were coming so I guess I don't get the big deal. Is your birthday the 8th or 9th? (That's another thing - our wedding is on Sat. when Mother's Day is Sun!)

wadingmoose

I'm confused.

When people come here and ask advice about having Friday weddings, we advise them to be prepared that things like this can happen.

But, when a reg is complaining that something like this has happened, we're blaming the guy who's trying to get time off of work to be in the wedding? Really?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stfu-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23e886f-fe87-4b86-9627-e20ee32c6157Post:781743e6-fe69-4f32-9789-5a21743c7ca2">Re: STFU.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: STFU. : Geez good thing I don't know you IRL or you could totally skip out on my wedding because you found out your birthday is the same day a month before the wedding... haha. I think the people who backed out on us just didn't want to travel anymore. The adult daughter lives with her parents, and her parents were coming so I guess I don't get the big deal. Is your birthday the 8th or 9th? (That's another thing - our wedding is on Sat. when Mother's Day is Sun!)
Posted by ashmy211[/QUOTE]

It's the 9th, so it really is on Mother's Day this year. *Sigh* I have to share MY day every so often with 2 billion other women in the world...

Honestly, though, I've seen people comment about how their wedding is on their BM's birthday, or their dad's birthday, or their parents' anniversary. It's all good. As much as I love turning another year older, the world doesn't revolve around me.

And who REALLY celebrates mother's day anyway? Let alone all weekend? We used to go to my grandmother's house and bring her a plant, then have ice cream cake for my birthday!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stfu-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23e886f-fe87-4b86-9627-e20ee32c6157Post:b32bf7da-4ede-438d-a235-4cf4aa954ba7">Re: STFU.</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm confused. When people come here and ask advice about having Friday weddings, we advise them to be prepared that things like this can happen. But, when a reg is complaining that something like this has happened, we're blaming the guy who's trying to get time off of work to be in the wedding? Really?
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

You wouldn't be annoyed if one of your closest friends called you to biitch about your wedding date for half an hour? THAT's the point. It's not something they can change at this point, especially not to accomodate one person.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stfu-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23e886f-fe87-4b86-9627-e20ee32c6157Post:943e20e1-dc85-4c83-b3ab-3b4125b2bbf2">Re: STFU.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: STFU. : You wouldn't be annoyed if one of your closest friends called you to biitch about your wedding date for half an hour? THAT's the point. It's not something they can change at this point, especially not to accomodate one person.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]


1.  If it was one of their closest friends, this reaction shouldn't be a surprise to them. 
2.  If you plan a wedding for a Friday, don't be surprised when people can't make it.  Also, don't be upset by this. 
3.  Should he have bitched for a half hour?  I dunno, my guess is that's the way this really close friend usually behaves so....

eastunder1

I don't have an issue with people whining about the date, because Friday dates ARE annoying and inconvienent to a lot of people.  But to go about doing it four weeks before the wedding to the groom?  Whats the point?  Had he b*tched when they were trying to decide on it, that would be different.  But whats done is done now.  Complaining to the people getting married this late in the game is just rude in my opinion.  He should be doing the nice thing and bitching about them behind their backs to all their mutual friends. 

wadingmoose

But is there any point when a friend can influence the date?  I know I didn't go around asking my friends if they were available.  I looked at the venue, looked at their available dates and booked, understanding that it was a long weekend and a destination wedding and some people wouldn't be able to make it.

I was actually quite prepared to listen to people whine about that.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Eh, I guess it's like telling the bride she has an ugly dress after she buys it. What's done is done.

eastunder1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stfu-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23e886f-fe87-4b86-9627-e20ee32c6157Post:1fd59e49-1802-4da5-bb70-a08979bdf8cf">Re: STFU.</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh, I guess it's like telling the bride she has an ugly dress after she buys it. What's done is done.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

This.  Its fine to think its ugly.  But tact dictates that you keep it to yourself. 

There's a LOT of things that people say "might happen" around here regarding guests that I think tact should prevent though.  Manners shouldn't just fly out the window because there is an ugly pickup dress and sit down dinner involved. 

luckyme502

I think the point is not that he's bitching about a Friday wedding, but that he is in the wedding party, has known the date for months, and is just now saying something about it.  I think Nugget knows some people will have a problem with the date, but a groomsmen just realizing it this close to the wedding and taking 25 minutes to bitch about it is kind of amusing, at least to me. 

wadingmoose

Which reminds me of something else that gets said around here a lot, "nobody cares as much about your wedding as you do."

He's a guy.  He probably (wrongly) assumed that it would be a saturday without checking his calendar.  I've done that before.

Trifury2007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stfu-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23e886f-fe87-4b86-9627-e20ee32c6157Post:8721b257-1032-4670-8078-2196528187c5">Re: STFU.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the point is not that he's bitching about a Friday wedding, but that he is in the wedding party, has known the date for months, and is just now saying something about it.  I think Nugget knows some people will have a problem with the date, but a groomsmen just realizing it this close to the wedding and taking 25 minutes to bitch about it is kind of amusing, at least to me. 
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

This