Wedding Etiquette Forum

Would you up and move to NYC?

CN: If you were planning on moving to San Francisco for no reason in particular, would you move to NYC if your FI got an awesome, well-paying job?

So, most of you ladies know that FI and I are/were planning to move to San Francisco in the fall, right before the wedding. We both have a list of jobs we're applying for, but no offers yet.

FI was just talking to a former coworker who left their firm in Chicago for another job in NYC. FI e-mailed him to see if the guy knew of any SF contacts, and the guy responded by saying "Actually, if you're interested, there's an open spot at the firm here. I talked to the boss about you, and the job is yours if you want it." FI would be making double there what he makes here, and the job would be held until we were to move out there. It sounds a lot like where he's working now, except that people actually go home at 6 PM instead of 10 PM, as is the case now.

I'm kind of overwhelmed, but a part of me is going "Why not?" The only reason we'd chosen San Francisco is because we both like the city and have some friends out there. FI was very clear that he was fine with either city, so SF is still an option.

What do you guys think? Is this something you'd consider? Obviously FI and I will talk it over and decide what's right for us, but I'd love to get an outside perspective who's not my mom (who would freak out) or MOH (who would also probably freak out).
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Re: Would you up and move to NYC?

  • I'd rather die than live in a big city. :)

    BUT, I would definitely consider it! If it's a good opportunity for him and for you as a couple, it doesn't hurt to at least look into it, right?
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  • Fortunately (or not :P) it seems like SF and NYC are pretty comparable price wise so it is not like you are not prepared for that. I do know that, coming from experience, it is harder than you think to relocate to a place you don't have friends and family so keep that in mind,

    That being said, NYC = close to me, so I am good :)
  • If the money was right, yes, I would. What about you? Will you be able to find work there?

    That being said, IDK if I'd olve NYC. I am a country girl. I'd be out of my element.
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  • Do it! What is the worse case scenario - you don't love it and you move to SF later? I think it sounds like a great opportunity!
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  • Will there ever be another time in your life that you will have the freedom to do this or the job security?
    I think it sounds fun. You're young. He would have a job.There may be draw backs I can't see right now, but I think it sounds like a great opportunity.
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  • amalamaamalama member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Is your mom closer to San Francisco? I am just wondering if that's why she would freak out. Personally I would move to NYC but I am more of a planner and would freak out moving without either of us having a job. But if I remember correctly you still have a while before you were supposed to move to look for jobs right?

    I'm no help, sorry.
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  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I would do it in a heart beat.
  • After moving out of DC I never ever want to live in a big city again. But I'm also a small town girl at heart so there is that.

    I think the prospect of having more money with better hours would be difficult to pass up. Can you get afford a place in NYC with the salary he would be making? I'm not sure about the economics of each city to know if the doubled salary would just get swallowed up in a higher cost of living.
  • DO IT.  Do it do it do it.  I would.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-up-move-nyc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2563394-65dc-4062-89d2-218c2d8b5fcePost:dd0b5426-9920-4e78-971c-ca9481a763b1">Re: Would you up and move to NYC?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is your mom closer to San Francisco? I am just wondering if that's why she would freak out. Personally I would move to NYC but <strong>I am more of a planner and would freak out moving without either of us having a job.</strong> But if I remember correctly you still have a while before you were supposed to move to look for jobs right? I'm no help, sorry.
    Posted by amalama[/QUOTE]

    THIS. It's been such a stretch for me to think about moving to SF without jobs, especially since we don't exactly have a huge savings account.

    And good point about this really being the only time in our lives that we could do this.
  • NYC is fecking awesome!  You will love living here.  I say DO IT!
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  • I'd do it. In a heartbeat
  • Seriously, why is this even a question?!
  • I'd definitely do it - I love NYC.  Plus, why not?  You're young and this is time to do random moves.
  • I'd do it.
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  • Would the nyc job be a promised thing with him starting once you moved or would he begin the interview process after moving?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-up-move-nyc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2563394-65dc-4062-89d2-218c2d8b5fcePost:28f1e92f-d8db-4421-b369-1690b943e8f3">Re: Would you up and move to NYC?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Would the nyc job be a promised thing with him starting once you moved or would he begin the interview process after moving?
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    It's a flat-out offer right now, actually. Not "right now" as in he needs to start right now, but "right now" as in it's on the table.

    And Kim, I think FI is somewhat hesitant about it because he's such an outdoorsy person and was looking forward to the hiking and more beachy feel of SF. He was pretty anti-NYC until about an hour ago. I think it's just a big change from what we were thinking.
  • I would do it but I am biased because I grew up here and love it.  I have also been to San Francisco and that is another great city.  Just be prepared for a complete lifestyle change.  Would you plan on living in Manhattan or outer borroughs or suburbs?
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  • I think it would be hard, and I personally don't know if I could do it, just for pure selfish reasons.  I like having my own space and in a big city, I couldn't have that.

    However, if you guys were picking up and moving with no real prospects, this seems like a fantastic option.
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  • Yes!! If the rent is too high in Manhattan, you could look into renting or buying a place in one of the boroughs like Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island.. You would probably have to take public transportation 'cause parking in Manhattan is a pain.
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  • I think if he has a flat out offer than take it. You can always move to SF if you get there and absolutely hate it. One of my friends moved to NYC last year with $50 in her pocket and the stars in her eyes *cue sappy music* and now does production work for some off-broadway theatre companies. She absolutely loves NYC and was very much an outdoorsy beach girl.
  • The economy in CA is so terrible right now--not a great time to move there for new jobs IMHO.  What will the NYC market be like for you?  I'm not sure what your field is.  As someone who has been looking for jobs in MA and CA for 1.5 years, I'd say go to NYC :)
  • I'd love to! I can understand why you guys are pulled to San Francisco, because it is just wonderful out there, but NYC can really be anything you want it to be. There are so many different ways to experience it, and living in the Northeast in general is so much different from the Midwest. Things are a lot closer together, and there's so much of everything.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-up-move-nyc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2563394-65dc-4062-89d2-218c2d8b5fcePost:3893a19e-d300-4d39-9dd0-6b6695d775b0">Re: Would you up and move to NYC?</a>:
    [QUOTE]i skipped through reading the other remarlks because....well i just don't give a shi*...and neither should you.  my parents are busting my balls for the same thing, but i think we can do it... Power.. everyone is so mean on these boards. I want you to be happy. that is all that matters. jobs come and go. love is forever.
    Posted by meganb01wedding[/QUOTE]
    Who, what, where?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-up-move-nyc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2563394-65dc-4062-89d2-218c2d8b5fcePost:a7b26704-5072-4cf3-bfcb-3109059d0198">Re: Would you up and move to NYC?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you up and move to NYC? : Who, what, where?
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]
    sshhhh, I think she was attempting poetry
  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited May 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-up-move-nyc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2563394-65dc-4062-89d2-218c2d8b5fcePost:d78c653a-bf33-4014-a31e-76f1805f1ab9">Re: Would you up and move to NYC?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you want to have a car, you could always think about the NJ side, like Jersey City, Bayonne, or Hoboken - all of these cities are up-and-coming places for young professionals who commute to the city via light rail or the PATH. Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

    I have to laugh when I read this because when I moved to NYC in the late '80s, I was told that Jersey City and Hoboken were the up and coming places for young professionals then! Maybe it's more true now -- I haven't been to either in ages -- but they were really scary back then. I just think it's kind of funny that 20 years later they're still being touted as up and coming.

    Poli, obviously there are lots of different options for living style in and around NY. I'll just say that the first year I worked in NY, I lived in New Jersey, and the last year I lived on Long Island -- and I hated hated hated both of them. To me, being that far away from the city meant I had the worst of both worlds--all the hassle of working in the city with none of the advantages. But I was really happy (for the most part) the years that I lived in the city, first in the West Village and later on the Upper East Side.

    Wherever you look, factor in your commute -- if you're losing an hour or more each way just to get back and forth to work, that quickly takes a toll. And it means you've got a lot less access to all the wonderful things the city has to offer. I know there are parts of Brooklyn that are actually quite close to Manhattan and some of them are really nice. But I admit I'm a total Manhattan snob -- to me, that's the "real" NY and there's just nothing else in the world like it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-up-move-nyc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2563394-65dc-4062-89d2-218c2d8b5fcePost:3896375e-e603-420e-ac68-cbe859ad8d65">Re: Would you up and move to NYC?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you up and move to NYC? : sshhhh, I think she was attempting poetry
    Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]
    I thought the whole "love is forever" thing seemed awfull poetic. Oh! Perhaps I can use it for the reading at T's sisters wedding!
  • I would move to NYC.  Of course, I'm an East Coast girl, so I'm biased.  However, NYC is awesome and it's true, when again in your life will you have the opportunity to just pick up and move.  We don't even want to move out of school district now.  We have about a 5 mile radius to look for houses.  AHHHH.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-up-move-nyc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2563394-65dc-4062-89d2-218c2d8b5fcePost:105ac9f8-8189-4747-87dc-18308ebc6ce6">Re: Would you up and move to NYC?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you up and move to NYC? :<strong> I have to laugh when I read this because when I moved to NYC in the late '80s, I was told that Jersey City and Hoboken were the up and coming places for young professionals then! Maybe it's more true now -- I haven't been to either in ages -- but they were really scary back then.</strong> I just think it's kind of funny that 20 years later they're still being touted as up and coming. Poli, obviously there are lots of different options for living style in and around NY. I'll just say that the first year I worked in NY, I lived in New Jersey, and the last year I lived on Long Island -- and I hated hated hated both of them. To me, being that far away from the city meant I had the worst of both worlds--all the hassle of working in the city with none of the advantages. But I was really happy (for the most part) the years that I lived in the city, first in the West Village and later on the Upper East Side. Wherever you look, factor in your commute -- if you're losing an hour or more each way just to get back and forth to work, that quickly takes a toll. And it means you've got a lot less access to all the wonderful things the city has to offer. I know there are parts of Brooklyn that are actually quite close to Manhattan and some of them are really nice. But I admit I'm a total Manhattan snob -- to me, that's the "real" NY and there's just nothing else in the world like it.
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

    Ten, I say this because I know a lot of people who live in both places and who say so themselves, living there. Also, public transportation from the NJ side has gotten to the point that taking the PATH doesn't take much longer than taking the subway from some of the outer boroughs. It's certainly much shorter and cheaper than something like NJ Transit. There's a lot of new building and growth going on in Jersey City.
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  • Sarah, I hope you know I wasn't laughing at you. It's just funny to me that places can be considered up and coming for that long. I knew people who lived there too when I first moved to the city, but I still thought they were really scary. I have no idea what they're like now.

    I also know that people have very different comfort levels. My best friend moved to Williamsburg and I hated even visiting her there, even though other people think it's a great hot spot.
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