North Carolina
Options

Going to bach. party, not invited to wedding?

I'm curious what you all think about something... plus Im bored as anything, so hey let's just start random posts ;) FI has a friend who he's been friends with since high school. They aren't extremely close anymore, but they are still friends. Anyway, this guy is getting married next month. He is having a very small wedding. But, the kicker is that, FI was not invited, yet FI's best friend (who is also friends with the groom) was. They were kind of like the 3 musketeers in high school, so the whole situation kinda makes me mad in a way because I know FI may feel somewhat hurt over this. I totally get only being able to have a small wedding, but would 2 more people have made a HUGE difference? Anyway, so the groom is having a bachelor party in a couple of weeks and asked FI to go!! Wth...and everyone else who will be there is going to the wedding OR a part of the wedding!! If it were me, I don't think I would go... FI says he's going to go, so... I guess guys just dont look at these things like we girls sometimes do, lol.

Re: Going to bach. party, not invited to wedding?

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I am sure some people will disagree with me, but I actually think it is fine to invite extra people to the bach party. It's a nice way to still get to hang with someone and tell them they're important. That said, I am sorry your FI wasn't invited to the wedding. Sounds like a sticky situation.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Considering 2 more people *could* be over $100, maybe his FI made him draw the line? IDK. Regarding the Bach invitation w/ no wedding invite, I totally agree that guys see these things differently. Only 1 person who went to DH's bach party was attending the wedding but all the guys were like, hey, lets go to the bar! If your FI was really hurt, he probably wouldn't go. Don't take on all the anger/hurt for him because you've got plenty else on your plate.
    image
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Most guys don't understand the invite thing as a whole - so really, it's up to your FI to decide. I've really pushed back on my FI for this one because I don't like those situations where you're invited to one event but not another. I didn't even like that our families held a party for us back at home and invited people that weren't on our list. But what are you going to do?
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I think it might not always be bad to invite someone to the bachelor or bachelorette party without inviting them to the wedding. I know my sister invited a ton of people (current classmates) last year that she couldn't invite to the wedding because of space issues. A BIG exception for me would be if the guests are supposed to subsidize really expensive things for the groom, like pay for his ticket to Vegas, or pay a lot of money for strippers or whatever-other-things guys-do-at-their-parties-that-I-don't-want-to-think-about-right-now. But if it's just a normal weekend night out but on a slightly grander scale, I think it's fine. It's not like a shower invitation to someone who's not invited to the wedding as there's not (as far as I know) the expectation of a gift.
  • Options
    heatherjesseheatherjesse member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i dont see a big deal with this at all unless like pp said the person is being asked to contribute financially other than to buy a round of drinks.  most of the people invited to my bachelorette party were not invited to the wedding because we just didnt have the room.  I have also attended bachelorette parties for brides whose weddings i was not invited to.  i loved going as a way to celebrate with a friend! 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Trust me, guys don't care if they're invited to the wedding if they get to get drunk/see boobs/shoot pool/whatever else it is that guys do at bachelor parties.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't sweat it.  I know FI and I are planning on inviting people to our after party that we aren't inviting to the reception, which is kind of similar.  It's a way to invite people that couldn't make the cut on the reception list but we still want to see.  As we all know, weddings are expensive ;)
  • Options
    wlfpkbridewlfpkbride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know the whole story...maybe FI's friend and the other friend are still close? If they're not, that may get to me. I wouldn't be upset that he's invited to the bach. party and not the wedding. We will most likely invite people to our bachelor/bachelorette parties that don't make the cut to the guest list, as well as the after party. It's just a way to get to spend time with & celebrate with friends that we can't keep on the list.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for sharing all the input, I think I understand a little better now that I see some of you all are inviting ppl to bach parties who didnt make the cut to the wedding list. Just to note, I didnt say a word to FI about my opinion about him going or not, it's totally up to him, I was just thinking that if it were me, I think i'd feel strange going if I wasnt invited to the wedding. ANYWHO Jess is right, beer and whatever else surely trumps a wedding invite to a man, lol.
  • Options
    krispychikinkrispychikin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    my FI has people come to his bach party who weren't invited to the wedding - a night out at the bar is always fun for guys :)  and no one was asked to contribute financially to the event, so I don't think I would be offended - who knows what his FI has said about who can and can't come!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards