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DW invite, no RSVP card - how to respond?

jaenellajaenella member
100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hello ladies!

Some quick advice about responding to a wedding invite! I recently received an invitation to a destination wedding in Jamaica in August - but the couple didn't include an RSVP card in the invite. Unfortunately, we won't be able to make it - a) we have a very limited budget right now, and b) I only have a week of vacation left this year! My question - how is best to respond? With a phone call? With a handwritten note? I'm leaning towards the handwritten note, but when do I send a gift? Now is clearly far too early, but should I schedule it to arrive before the wedding or after?

Thanks for the advice!
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Re: DW invite, no RSVP card - how to respond?

  • LDubHawksFanLDubHawksFan member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Are you sure it isn't a STD?  That is strange that they don't have any sort of rsvp, but it's also ridiculously early for an invitation to go out.  Since you seem sure that you can't go, you could just call the friend to let them know.

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  • jaenellajaenella member
    100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dw-invite-no-rsvp-card-how-to-respond?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c285d9f5-aacf-49e4-9297-153603318a03Post:cbcceaad-da03-411a-9161-e2ad9b90b0cf">Re: DW invite, no RSVP card - how to respond?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you sure it isn't a STD?  That is strange that they don't have any sort of rsvp, but it's also ridiculously early for an invitation to go out.  Since you seem sure that you can't go, you could just call the friend to let them know.
    Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's one thing I also wondered - it doesn't say STD anywhere on it and has the resort info, location, booking information etc and invite-like phrasing ("together with our parents, we invite you to join us as B and G exchange marriage vows in Jamaica") so I had concluded it must be the invite! How would you tell the difference if a STD was worded like that?</div><div>
    </div><div>Thanks!</div>
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would handwrite a response.   As far as a gift, that is up to you.  I would send it closer or right after the wedding.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dw-invite-no-rsvp-card-how-to-respond?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c285d9f5-aacf-49e4-9297-153603318a03Post:ca0ea516-9851-456b-8184-1345f920d5f2">Re: DW invite, no RSVP card - how to respond?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If it is actually an invitation, then you should properly handwrite this response:  "Mr. and Mrs. Jaenella regret that they will be unable to attend your wedding."  This is how it was done for many years before resonse cards were invented by the wedding industry.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    Agreed! That sounds very polite and clear. CMGr, is your daughter also on the boards? I love that picture because she looks so happy and pretty, and I love her bouquet. I always thought she was the one posting until I looked closer. Now I don't know if it's always been your posts I've seen or if she also posts and uses that photo. Sorry to get off topic!

    In most cases, I would just send the gift right away so I don't have to think about it later (and potentially forget). I realize things could change in 7 months, but that's just what I would do.
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  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    I would do as previous posters suggested. Send a written not back and then maybe a week later you can follow up with a phone call to congratulate them, etc.

    It is kind of weird that they didn't send a response card though. And while I agree it's weird that they sent the invitations so soon there may be been circumstances that prevented otherwise. 

    I'm having a dw wedding and had to send out invites in January/Feb. for an April wedding. this was because the resort required a headcount in February plus I had international guests that needed to apply for visas in advance. They needed an invite to apply for the visa. 

    As not to seem like we were b-listing people, we had to send invites to everyone early.... So it could be poor etiquette or it could be that they really needed to send the invites early due to circumstances. 
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  • musicalcanadianbridemusicalcanadianbride member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
    RSVP cards are a relatively new invention by the wedding industry. Traditionally, people just wrote a note to say whether they would attend or not. 
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