How would you word this?

achiduck

I have a few guests that have babies under 12 months of age. While we're not inviting children (except FI's two half brothers) I wanted to include a little note that says they're welcome to bring the baby if they wish. 

To make it kind of sticky, I have one friend that has a 3 year old and a 4 month old. How do I word it so she knows she can bring the baby but we're not inviting older children? I know her and she's the type that won't bring either child to the wedding, so should I just skip that note?

I also have a guest who is expecting and if the baby is born on it's due date will be about 10 weeks old at the time of the wedding. The invites will be going out right around the time it's due so I'm not sure how to word this one as the baby may or may not be born when the invitation arrives. 

What say you?

AdeleDazeem

I'd call these people and talk to them personally instead of trying to word it correctly.

Simply Fated

I'd probably address the envelopes to the parents and the baby. Either that, or I'd address the envelopes to the parents, only, and follow up with a phone call. Or or or, just address the envelopes to the parents and then have a note inside that says, "We hope to see little Baby there, too!"

I dunno, I suck at these things.

HandBanana

In Response to Re:How would you word this?:[QUOTE]I'd call these people and talk to them personally instead of trying to word it correctly. Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

I would do this or email. I tend to babble on the phone so either preparing something to say on the phone or email is better.

AdeleDazeem

Especially because one has a baby and an older child, I feel like a private conversation (phone or email) will clear up misunderstandings and answer questions more quickly and easily than a worded piece of paper.  It's only three sets of guests - easy peasy.

Snippylynn

Here's the perfect example of why the no kids rule shouldn't be split along age lines. The one with the 3 year old is going to be annoyed.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-would-you-word-this-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c3320ab9-413e-48f7-a6c2-26f211923428Post:016a3d1d-9415-41ab-bdfa-a686d666d8ac">Re: How would you word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd call these people and talk to them personally instead of trying to word it correctly.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

YES this

HockeyFan4

I would just invite the parents.  They might be looking for a night out.  If they want to bring the baby, they will ask. 

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-would-you-word-this-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c3320ab9-413e-48f7-a6c2-26f211923428Post:b0b5d3c6-332d-4168-aec6-7cc52ec6cb0f">Re: How would you word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's the perfect example of why the no kids rule shouldn't be split along age lines. The one with the 3 year old is going to be annoyed.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]
Well it's really not, we we just want to make sure that people with young babies who might be BFing know they can bring their infants if they want to.

LeiselEB

I would just address the invitations to the parents. If they want to bring their kids, they will RSVP with them, or they'll call you and ask. The person with a baby and a 3 year old won't be happy that only the baby is welcome. Might as well just not invite any babies and then make the exception if the parents bring it up. 

AdeleDazeem

If I recieved an invitation for me and my husband, I would never dream of RSVPing for my children or even calling to ask if they could come, so I don't exactly agree with just putting the parents on there.

I also think the parents of the three year old might be relieved.  Some parents are weird about baby-sitters.  They might feel comfortable leaving the three year old but not the baby.  They could stand there looking at the invitation and want to RSVP no because they don't want to leave the baby.  Offering the option of bringing the baby might swing their vote.  They also might be ticked that both kids aren't invited.  I have no idea.

Call 'em, achi!  :-)

EDIT: Leisel, I've been meaning to tell you for awhile that I love all your siggy pictures.  You look so gorgeous on all of them!

meganb1977

Nursing infants are the exception to the "no kids" rule.  Especially since it's just a few couples it would probably be fine to address the invitation to the parents and then if they ask you can let them know that of course it's okay if they need to bring the baby.  As a pp mentioned, it may not be an issue if they want to treat it as time as a couple or if they would already have to arrange for someone to watch an older child.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-would-you-word-this-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c3320ab9-413e-48f7-a6c2-26f211923428Post:617f4d6f-d084-407c-aa0d-9f3f26e4f820">Re: How would you word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How would you word this? : Well it's really not, we we just want to make sure that people with young babies who might be BFing know they can bring their infants if they want to.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

That's pretty much all you need to say.  When you call or email, just say "I'm not sure what your plans are for nursing or bottle feeding so if you're nursing, you're more than welcome to bring the baby if that will make it easier on you."

achiduck

Thanks Ladies, sounds like calling is the way to go!

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-would-you-word-this-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c3320ab9-413e-48f7-a6c2-26f211923428Post:35ae6e68-3bff-40c0-a12f-802daedaba00">Re: How would you word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just address the invitations to the parents.<strong> If they want to bring their kids, they will RSVP with them, or they'll call you and ask</strong>. <strong>The person with a baby and a 3 year old won't be happy that only the baby is welcome. </strong>Might as well just not invite any babies and then make the exception if the parents bring it up. 
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]

There's a lot of assumptions in this. None of us know what someone else would do in this situation, only what we would do.  We can speculate but that's not the same as saying they will for sure react this way.

I know *I* would never call and ask if baby could come if the invitation was addressed to me and H only. I also wouldn't be aggravated if the baby was invited and toddler wasn't.  I would probably be willing to leave the toddler with a sitter to make it easier on the sitter with only one busy child to watch and to make it easier on me to feed the baby.  Pumping was really hard for me so just nursing would be more convenient.

I think offering to accommodate the baby is a nice thing to do, but it's certainly isn't expected.  Achiduck, if you offer, mom can choose what's easiest for them.

LeiselEB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-would-you-word-this-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c3320ab9-413e-48f7-a6c2-26f211923428Post:56a1f70b-cb48-4249-8a81-bd2ddbeb7c13">Re: How would you word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How would you word this? : There's a lot of assumptions in this. None of us know what someone else would do in this situation, only what we would do.  We can speculate but that's not the same as saying they will for sure react this way. I know *I* would never call and ask if baby could come if the invitation was addressed to me and H only. I also wouldn't be aggravated if the baby was invited and toddler wasn't.  I would probably be willing to leave the toddler with a sitter to make it easier on the sitter with only one busy child to watch and to make it easier on me to feed the baby.  Pumping was really hard for me so just nursing would be more convenient. I think offering to accommodate the baby is a nice thing to do, but it's certainly isn't expected.  Achiduck, if you offer, mom can choose what's easiest for them.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I didn't mean to make assumptions about all parents. I'd never call and ask to bring someone who wasn't invited, either. But that issue of RSVPs coming back with kids on it, or people worrying about kids just showing up seems to come up a lot. And we had a few people RSVP with their kids added to the card. It does happen, but you're right, it's not everyone. </div><div>
</div><div>I don't think there's anything wrong with calling parents and expalining, I'm just saying that putting a note in the invitation, or addressing invitations to parents + baby but no toddler is not necessary. I should have made that clear in my first post. </div>