Wedding Etiquette Forum

Inviting people to showers/party but not wedding?

I have a bit of a dillema... I have a lot of people in my life (a lot being aorund 100) that I want with me to celebrate my upcoming marriage. The issue is that my fiancee and I are both incredibly claustrophobic and have a really hard time being in a people-dense environment. 

That being said, how can I have the people I care about celebrate, without being rude? I'd love to invite people to a pre- or post-wedding party, but that seems like it's saying, "you're good enough to give me a gift but not watch me get married." That isn't at all my intention, though. I know if I just plain don't invite them to anything, they will show up anyway (it happened to my sister and mother), and then there won't be enough room or food, making it hard for everyone. It would be much easier to handle in 2-3 extra, smaller parties than all at the same time.

This is additionally complicated by the fact that my father died a year and a half ago, and people that we knew as a family have been especially clingy. Which is fine, but not on a wedding day. I haven't even announced anything yet because my fiancee and I don't want to call a lot of attention to ourselves.

I don't want to exclude people, but even being in a crowded elevator for 30 seconds makes me start to shake and have trouble thinking. Going shopping when the store is crowded has the same effect. 

What can I do to fix this? 
Wedding Countdown Ticker "Love? above all things I believe in love. Love is like oxygen. Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong... All you need is love!" - Moulin Rouge
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards