inviting women i have never met to the shower

laurengitis

A few of the out of town invitees to my wedding are people that are closer to my fiance than me, whose wives i've never met. Do i have to invite these women to my shower? Especially if my fiance isn't at the shower? The venue we want has a limited capacity and leaving these women off the list would allow us to book the room we really want. 

AddieCake

Certainly not. Ditto Kristan. I would be suspicious if you invited me and I had never met you. 

GoodLuckBear14

You shouldn't be inviting anyone to your shower.  That is the job of the person who is planning and hosting it.

manjermj

My sister didn't invite anyone we didn't know to my shower in my hometown. But, on the other hand, my now MIL had a shower for me at her house in NY with the women from their side of the family so that I could meet them before the wedding. 

laurengitis

I'm helping my mother with the list because she doesn't know who everyone is. 

Thanks everyone for your responses!

rachelm13

My FMIL gave me a list to pass on to my aunt who was hosting.  There were several people that I didn't know at mine, but, since FIs family is GIANT, it was to be expected.  I had at least met 90% of the of the 50 people.  My list was 12 people, my mom had her list of 10 or so and then the rest was his aunts, first cousins and close family friends.

So the moral of the story is, if you don't know people that would be on "your list", you don't have to invite.  If you don't know people that your FMIL/mom wants, different story and up to the host.

AJuliaNJ

I have a few women I don't know coming to the shower. FI has a large family and doesn't really keep in touch. However, FMIL and FSIL, who are hosting the shower DO keep in touch (and so do the family members I have met) and not inviting them was never a question. I think in this situation it would be ruder not to invite them due to their relationships with FMIL, FSIL, and the other guests.

More relevant to your post, we did not invite wives/girlfriends whom I haven't met. When FMIL and my MOH (I have 2 showers in 2 locations) asked for my list, I kept them off the list. I ran it by FI just in case, and there was maybe one person he felt should be added so we added her and left the rest off.

MuppetOverlord

I was invited to a wedding where my boyfriend was closer to the groom...and I got an invite to the shower and I thought it was totally odd. I declined.

I'm invited to a shower right now where I'll be the guest of a guest and I think it's odd and I declined.

I think you're cool to not invite.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-women-i-have-never-met-to-the-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c3b8ae12-518c-4852-bf73-85786329a61fPost:7ad3c25e-858e-483b-a1c2-872751494052">Re: inviting women i have never met to the shower</a>:
[QUOTE]My FMIL gave me a list to pass on to my aunt who was hosting.  There were several people that I didn't know at mine, but, since FIs family is GIANT, it was to be expected.  I had at least met 90% of the of the 50 people.  My list was 12 people, my mom had her list of 10 or so and then the rest was his aunts, first cousins and close family friends. So the moral of the story is, if you don't know people that would be on "your list", you don't have to invite.  If you don't know people that your FMIL/mom wants, different story and up to the host.
Posted by rachelm13[/QUOTE]

My FMIL gave my mom a shower list with quite a few women I have never met. Not to menion, one woman is in WA state and I'm in NY. Ya, pretty sure she is not flying out for my shower.