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Groomsman Outfit Drama

mespence47mespence47 member
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My FI decided they wanted to do suits instead of tuxes (spend a little more, but get to keep the suit at the end of the day).  He disclosed this information when he asked each of the guys to be in his party, but there is one problem.  It's time to buy them (Men's Warehouse has a buy-one, get-one sale)... 

Now one of the guys is "not so sure." Sale goes to the 11th... Are we being unreasonable? We did disclose this ahead of time!
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Re: Groomsman Outfit Drama

  • smokeybaileysmokeybailey member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Doesn't he already own a suit?  I can't imagine a suit is less than $200 but if it is, then if he doesn't buy then he is self selecting himself out.  I don't see how a <$200 suit is any different than a BM dress of the same price.  If the suit is more than that, then it is a little on the unreasonable side.


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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Would they prefer to wear tuxes instead? Do they not want to keep them at the end of the day?

    I really don't see the big issue. I think the GM are being unreasonable. When you agree to be in a WP, you normally wear what the bride or groom asks you to, within reason of course.
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
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    Did you ask the groomsmen ahead of time if purchasing a suit was in their budgets? If you are requiring them to buy something, I would make sure that what you pick is feasable for all involved. 

    That being said, if it is a buy one get one sale, are you having the guys go in together? Maybe they could buddy up and each pay half for the purchase suit. That could be easier on your friend's pocket book. 
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why is he 'not so sure'?  Does he not have the money?  Does he not want a suit?  Does he not want to be in the wedding?  Does he not want THAT suit? 

    If it's money, you might have to buy it for him and let him pay you back (but he might not do that).  If he can't afford it, he can't afford it, and there's nothing you can do about it. 

    You can let him get the suit later (and yes, maybe pay more, but that's on him), buy it for him, or let him wear a matching suit he already owns.  But you can't force him to buy it RIGHT NOW, sale or no sale. 

    Just tell him which suit and where it is, what date he must have it by, and leave him alone.  If he doesn't get it, he either wears something he already has or he's taken himself out of the wedding.  If he can't buy it, it's on him to fess up, and then you can either buy it for him or work something else out.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    As long as you're talking about a black suit, there is no need to pick a specific black suit.  Just tell them to wear whatever black suit they want, and choose their shirts and ties.  No one will know or care if they aren't all wearing the same suit, and he can get it with the budget and time frame that works for him.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    H's GMs wore any navy suit.  Only a couple guys bought new suits, most wore something they already owned.  

    The Men's Wearhouse also rents suits, so if buying is too much, renting is a little cheaper.  Or have this guy buy from anywhere with a better price, most people wouldn't notice the difference between single breasted black suits (or whatever).
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Did he already agree to it and is now changing his mind?  Do you know if the money is the issue?  I would just have your FI ask him what he "isn't sure about" and go from there.  If he can't afford it right now, maybe your FI can cover the cost for now and the GM can reimburse him.  If that isn't possible, then let him get any suit he wants in the same color and style, rent the same one, or wear one he already owns. 
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  • mespence47mespence47 member
    10 Comments
    What we are doing is buying all of the suits ourselves... We just want the guys to pay us back whenever they are comfortable to do so.  Seems reasonable to me.  I don't really know what the issue is... He won't tell us his size or anything.  He didn't say it was a money issue, but if it was we would just buy it. We obviously want him to be a part of our day.  I just want him to tell us what the real issue is... :(

    We are buying all 8 suits so we buy 4 get 4 free so then we just expect people to pay 50% of the price of the suit back... Make more sense now? :)
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Are you aware that if you charget them all 50% of the price, you will be covering some of the costs yourself?  The price would be 75% of the cost for everyone to cover the differences.  But if you plan on paying part of it then that is really nice of you.  

    Definitely just have your FI ask him privately.  Maybe he can't make the wedding, or is having other difficulties.  
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  • mespence47mespence47 member
    10 Comments
    No, I mean 50% of the price of ONE suit.  Because we are getting the second one free.  So if we pay $420 for the two suits, they would owe us 210... and so one.  They are very nice suits.  We couldn't pass up this sale! Seems like everything's going to work out. Fi's been on the phone for... forever.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
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    My bad, reading fail.  I was thinking buy one get the second half price. 
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  • mespence47mespence47 member
    10 Comments
    No prob... I'm having complete mental fail lately! :)
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yeah, your FI needs to talk with him in private.  Sounds like there's something else going on behind the scenes.  He may not be sure he can be at the wedding at all, and is afraid to tell you.  Maybe they can go grab coffee or a beer or whatever they like to do and talk it out. 
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  • cms4mfcms4mf
    10 Comments
    It may just be too many steps and some guys aren't good at that. Go to store --> shop for suit--> what's a sale?--> actually spend money on clothes

    Does he have a girlfriend? She may be able to get him motivated. I think getting guys to get suits/tuxes gets harder the more choices they have. Whereas if they go somewhere, get the exact thing they're told, and pay what they're told it will be, it's less hassle.

    ... this is coming from my FI having lots of add friends though
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