What would your fiance/husband do?!

ldcf11206

I'm asking this question on behalf of my fiance.  Here's the story ---

Over the weekend, my fiance was told by a co-worker:  "By the way, just want to let you know that you're one of the groomsmen in my wedding."  My fiance's response was, "Are you serious?"  and the guy said, "Yeah."  And that was the extent of their conversation...

My fiance does not like this guy.  They have worked together for 3 years, and at the end of every work day, my fiance comes home with complaints about this co-worker.  They have never spent time together outside of work; therefore, my fiance has no idea why this guy would get the impression that they are friends, much less friends who are close enough to be in one another's wedding!  Our guest list is set and this guy is not being invited.  It never crossed my fiance's mind to invite him because, well, they aren't friends!

So, what would your guy do in this situation?  How does my man get out of this one???? 

ldcf11206

I would also like to add that both my fiance and I could NOT believe that this guy TOLD my fiance that he is in the wedding.  Obviously he doesn't get the concept of being polite and ASKING people to be in the wedding party...in which case, my man would have been given the opportunity to nicely decline...

georgia_bride09

He would tell the guy thanks for thinking of him, but he'd be unable to be a groomsman and was already booked for the wedding weekend.

Is this rocket science?

mwhitson14

Um, he needs to approach the guy and say, "dude, I don't really have the time/money/insert excuse to be your groomsman, but thanks for asking."

This is not that complicated.

kkchisholm

umm well my fi would probably go then add him to the guest list. but if it were, me, i'd decline.

sarah0725

Well, sounds like your FI needs to bite the bullet and decline anyway. "Hey, man, I just can't afford to do it, with my wedding coming up and and all. Oh, congrats, by the way."

JessAndTrav

Have your FI tell the guy that he is:

busy/going out of town/working/sick/dead that weekend and will be unable to attend.

pandasquishy

Just tell him no.  I can't believe the guy told him instead of asking him.

anna.oskar

My DH would have looked at the guy and said "No I'm not."  If he didn't like him, he wouldn't have bothered being nice.

ldcf11206

Why do so many people feel the need to be smarta$$es on here??  No this isn't rocket science, no this isn't THAT complicated, it's just that my fiance was put on the spot and I thought it would be good to get other people's opinions on how to handle this.  Apparently I was wrong. 

Please keep your rude opinions to yourselves!  Nice comments are welcomed...thanks  :-)

ohwhynot

"Sorry, Rainman, but I can't be in your wedding.  Thanks for thinking of me, though."  Use the expense, stress, and time commitment of your upcoming wedding as an excuse, if need be. 

vallyhoo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-fiancehusband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c49400e4-bbd2-49fb-9060-63d5fecfe562Post:3db5ded1-ccec-430c-b590-28d5bd28d105">What would your fiance/husband do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]How does my man get out of this one???? 
Posted by ldcf11206[/QUOTE]

"Your man" needs to grow a pair and tell the guy no.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-fiancehusband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c49400e4-bbd2-49fb-9060-63d5fecfe562Post:3db5ded1-ccec-430c-b590-28d5bd28d105">What would your fiance/husband do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm asking this question on behalf of my fiance.  Here's the story --- Over the weekend, my fiance was told by a co-worker:  "By the way, just want to let you know that you're one of the groomsmen in my wedding."  My fiance's response was, "Are you serious?"  and the guy said, "Yeah."  And that was the extent of their conversation... My fiance does not like this guy.  They have worked together for 3 years, and at the end of every work day, my fiance comes home with complaints about this co-worker.  They have never spent time together outside of work; therefore, my fiance has no idea why this guy would get the impression that they are friends, much less friends who are close enough to be in one another's wedding!  Our guest list is set and this guy is not being invited.  It never crossed my fiance's mind to invite him because, well, they aren't friends! So, what would your guy do in this situation?  How does my man get out of this one???? 
Posted by ldcf11206[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]Why do so many people feel the need to be smarta$$es on here??  No this isn't rocket science, no this isn't THAT complicated, it's just that my fiance was put on the spot and I thought it would be good to get other people's opinions on how to handle this.  Apparently I was wrong. 

Please keep your rude opinions to yourselves!  Nice comments are welcomed...thanks  :-) [/QUOTE]

You asked a question and people answered honestly. No need to be an ass.

JessAndTrav

I hate when people say "MY MAN!!!!"

With all due respect (sort-of), you asked a really stupid question.

If someone called you and said, "Hey, you're going to start cleaning my toilet on a weekly basis." your reaction would likely be "HELLTHEFUCKNO."

In the same light, YOUR MAN should just say no. There's no need to even ask a question about this.

If the guy assumed YOUR MAN wanted to be a part of it, tell him that he assumed wrong.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-fiancehusband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c49400e4-bbd2-49fb-9060-63d5fecfe562Post:4624c0c3-228a-4219-955e-7684f08d0260">Re: What would your fiance/husband do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why do so many people feel the need to be smarta$$es on here??  No this isn't rocket science, no this isn't THAT complicated, it's just that my fiance was put on the spot and I thought it would be good to get other people's opinions on how to handle this.  Apparently I was wrong. <strong> Please keep your rude opinions to yourselves!  Nice comments are welcomed...thanks </strong> :-)
Posted by ldcf11206[/QUOTE]

When you post on a public forum, you lose the right to screen responses or tell people what to write.

[Deleted User]

My FI would just take a dump on his desk. Nothing says "no. I will not be in your wedding." Like a big steaming pile of crap.

SwedishChick2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-fiancehusband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c49400e4-bbd2-49fb-9060-63d5fecfe562Post:4624c0c3-228a-4219-955e-7684f08d0260">Re: What would your fiance/husband do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why do so many people feel the need to be smarta$$es on here??  No this isn't rocket science, no this isn't THAT complicated, it's just that my fiance was put on the spot and I thought it would be good to get other people's opinions on how to handle this.  Apparently I was wrong.  Please keep your rude opinions to yourselves!  Nice comments are welcomed...thanks  :-)
Posted by ldcf11206[/QUOTE]
A few posts down, there's this really nice girl named AnnaWhite_Capo.  I think you two would hit it off.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-fiancehusband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c49400e4-bbd2-49fb-9060-63d5fecfe562Post:3e60ad0d-58ee-4c30-b9b2-294abf7833d4">Re: What would your fiance/husband do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI would just take a dump on his desk. Nothing says "no. I will not be in your wedding." Like a big steaming pile of crap.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

My brother actually tried to do this to one of his coworkers. He told me later that his body was trained to only crap in a toilet and that he couldn't do it, once his pants were around his ankles atop this dude's desk.

temerityjane

You're not very smart or very nice, are you?

Feel free not to welcome that comment if you want.

[Deleted User]

Lauren - What on Earth did the guy do to your brother to warrant an attempt at desk poop?

We used to play a game at work where we would name a person in the company who's desk we would poop on if we could. I always loved that game.

JessAndTrav

CEW & Coco have been awarded 150 cool points.

laurenclaire1386

Cew, believe it or not, it wasn't ill-willed. This guy filled my brother's company truck (he delivered marine supplies to tow boats) with packing peanuts and my brother wanted to pull an even better prank.

rodeo417

I had to laugh when I read this but have your FI tell him that hell hasn't frozen over yet so he can't be in his wedding party..

SwedishChick2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-fiancehusband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c49400e4-bbd2-49fb-9060-63d5fecfe562Post:e4024f40-cbe5-48d4-95c8-a35508bbe964">Re: What would your fiance/husband do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]CEW & Coco have been awarded 150 cool points.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]
Yes!  :takes a bow:

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-fiancehusband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c49400e4-bbd2-49fb-9060-63d5fecfe562Post:95488bfa-f60e-4845-b45d-b541baa57a63">Re: What would your fiance/husband do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Cew, believe it or not, it wasn't ill-willed. This guy filled my brother's company truck (he delivered marine supplies to tow boats) with packing peanuts and my brother wanted to pull an even better prank.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

That is absolutely horrifying.

Note to self: Never, never, never play any kind of prank of LC's brother.

goheels05

He has to fake his own death.  It's the only way.

Cew, thanks, my boss is wondering wtf is so funny about the K-1s I'm supposed to be filing.

ohwhynot

I know, cew, right?  "An even better prank" might be something like putting a cow in his front yard or reassembling his car on his roof. 

But taking a dump on his desk? 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-fiancehusband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c49400e4-bbd2-49fb-9060-63d5fecfe562Post:a2271c80-6409-4a0e-861b-fc7e62e47e05">Re: What would your fiance/husband do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong><font color="#999999">He has to fake his own death.  It's the only way.</font></strong> Cew, thanks, my boss is wondering wtf is so funny about the K-1s I'm supposed to be filing.
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

I really like this option too. It's so mysterious and Tupac-ish.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Clearly, your FI needs to quit his job.

CEW, we used to play a game at work where we'd go through the list of who was working that day and say, "I'd hit it." Or not.

phoeny_moonstar

If I were your Fi I would tell the "friend" I could not be in his wedding.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-fiancehusband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c49400e4-bbd2-49fb-9060-63d5fecfe562Post:4624c0c3-228a-4219-955e-7684f08d0260">Re: What would your fiance/husband do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why do so many people feel the need to be smarta$$es on here??  No this isn't rocket science, no this isn't THAT complicated, it's just that my fiance was put on the spot and I thought it would be good to get other people's opinions on how to handle this.  Apparently I was wrong.  Please keep your rude opinions to yourselves!  Nice comments are welcomed...thanks  :-)
Posted by ldcf11206[/QUOTE]
I was just going to leave this one alone... until I saw that damned passive aggressive smiley face at the end.  God I hate those.

OP, you're an idiot for even asking this question.  Your FI needs to grow a set of balls and tell this guy he doesn't want to be in his wedding.  Why is this so difficult for him?  Is he a major pussy?  That's the only reason I can see for  not just saying he doesn't want to do it.