Wedding Etiquette Forum

Kids!

My fiance and I decided not to allow children at the wedding because of budgetary reasons - So we set a rule, only children in our IMMEDIATE family.. (our own son and my FI's neice and nephew, who are our FG and RB) but that is it.
invites have yet to go out, but the other night when my FI's Best Man was over he was enthusiastic about the woman he has been seeing and they recently decided to move in together..and she has a 2 year old son from a previous relationship..
Anyways..First he asked what we were doing with our son during the wedding.. I told him and then he started saying how excited he was for our son and her son to get to play together at the reception... :s
I dont deal well with being put on the spot or confrontation, so i froze, and said nothing and just smiled :s grrr! so mad at myself..and now i dont really know how to go about this nicely, without offending them!!... HELP!

Re: Kids!

  • Oh that is a tough one. I'd just address the invite to him by himself (unless of course he is engaged or has been with his "woman" friend for a while). Of course it gets sticky because he is the best man, and it might tarnish your FI's relationship with him. But I'd try to find out from your catering company if they offer a smaller portion plate for children. I think kids are more worried about running around and keeping thermselves occupied rather than eating.

    At the very least, maybe schedule a play date for the two kids maybe a few weeks ahead of time? That way they can still meet and play, and you can still have the no-children rule.

    I hope I didn't make that confusing.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-26?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4c5f446-8625-4436-81f6-4ea187276d21Post:a6464f07-55e9-4a98-ba7c-15fa4e0059ae">Re: Kids!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids! : Bolded part = TERRIBLE ADVICE If anyone that you are inviting to a co-ed social event has an SO (no matter if as short as 3 weeks) they are invited.  If they call/consider each other their bf/gf, they are invited, by name (not +1 or and guest).
    Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

    My bad, I'm kind of new to this. We are attending a wedding this Friday where the best man can't have his girlfriend of over a year (because the bride is a snot and doesn't "know" his gf), and somehow my fiance and I were invited together.

    Sorry!
  • Invite him and his gf, do not put her kid on the invitation.  Simple as that. 

    Since he's mentioned it and you didn't say anything upfront you might want to have FI mention it to him, but he should understand if you say you're only inviting immediate family's kids (obviously your OWN son should be at your wedding, that does not mean his gf's kid needs to be there)
  • It's perfectly acceptable to invite him and his girlfriend, but not her child.  If he gives you trouble over it, he is the rude one, not you.  Just tell him you are only able to include children in the immediate family.
  • holy i triple posted!! my bad! I dont even know how i managed that..i only clicked post once. oh well. Well, thanks for all the advice. :)
    I think we decided were not going to allow it... if we allow this then we have to allow everyones kid and that turns into 30 kids..plus we already told one of my bridesmaids that were not having kids and she was fine with it, so it wouldnt be fair to not allow her son but allow the best mans GF to bring her kid. :s just asking for hurt feelings that way.
    We will just be addressing the invite to only him and his GF and if they say anything tell them were allowing children in our immediatte families only. :s
    Hopefully it works out, and FI said hell deal with it if he does say anything :)

    Thanks for all the advice!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-26?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4c5f446-8625-4436-81f6-4ea187276d21Post:57774072-e31f-4a11-82a4-fd025f0653a8">Re: Kids!</a>:
    [QUOTE]holy i triple posted!! my bad! I dont even know how i managed that..i only clicked post once. oh well. Well, thanks for all the advice. :) I think we decided were not going to allow it... if we allow this then we have to allow everyones kid and that turns into 30 kids..plus we already told one of my bridesmaids that were not having kids and she was fine with it, so it wouldnt be fair to not allow her son but allow the best mans GF to bring her kid. :s just asking for hurt feelings that way. We will just be addressing the invite to only him and his GF and if they say anything tell them were allowing children in our immediatte families only. :s Hopefully it works out, and FI said hell deal with it if he does say anything :) Thanks for all the advice!
    Posted by stefaniewattie[/QUOTE]



    ARE YOU MARRIED YET?? DID IT ALL WORK OUT?? We are getting married in 7 weeks, Throughout the whole engagment we have made it very clear that the only child invited to the wedding is my out of town niece. We just don't have the space in the venue for children. The invitations went out two weeks ago and seriously could not have been any clearer that no children are invited. Last night one of my bridesmaids mentions that her husband will probably have to leave the reception early cause thier 15 month old daughter won't be able to last all night. I was stunned and said nothing (similar to your reaction) so this morning I told her that we have already told people that it is a no kids wedding and I'm worried if she brings her daughter it will offend the other guests that couldn't bring thier children. She got really mad at me and said that her husband wouldn't be able to come then. She even said "I don't know why you would think that I wouldn't bring her!!" I said "probably because when you asked if kids were invited, I said no".. I hope it all works out, but I know she is really pissed at me right now.
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