just another kids at wedding post, but different!

hgminor

I've looked around on other posts, but I haven't seen an answer to my specific question.  If it's already on here somewhere, forgive me

I am an elementary teacher, so I do really like kids, but because of budget/guestlist/etc reasons I don't think I should have them at the wedding.  HOWEVER, my aunt is much younger than my mom, and her children are both in school (one in 8th grade, one in 4th or 5th).  They live out in Colorado and would need to fly in for the wedding.  Of course I want them there!  I have a very small family so I want as many as I can get to be there!!

My question is, what would be your cut off date for a young person to attend or not attend the wedding?   I don't want anyone to see them and wonder why other kids couldn't be there, and I really don't have a problem with older kids- I just don't really want the young ones there that haven't learned to control themselves yet.

As I write this, it seems silly, but still- could you limit your list to PG-13 or double digit ages only?

MrsMack10612

Rather than an age cut off, I would do in family circles or limit to certain types of guests.  For instance, limiting it to children of WP or OOT guests.  Most people will understand that exceptions are sometimes made and those that don't are generally those that will make a stink about something.

If you really want your aunt to come, she may have to bring the children, she may not have anyone that would be willing to care for them for an extended period of time in CO. 

Simply Fated

How about making an exception for OOT guests?

lyndausvi

Like Stage I do not get age cut offs.   It's rarely that cut-n-dry in families

I would invite kids in circles.  For example in my social groups it's standard to have siblings, first cousins and chidren of the couple regardless of their age.     No other kds exept WP are generally invited.

Sierra524

I am not having kids at my wedding either, but instead of a "cut of age", we did invite kids based on family circles. His 6 nieces and nephews who we are very very close to will obviously be there, but our 10million cousins who are children, are not invited. I find inviting in circles easy & fair. Also, I would suggest making an exception for your OOT guests, especially if you really want all of them there.

manjermj

Our cut off was not age, but in the family circle - only 1st cousins were invited no matter their age.

daveANDkristen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-another-kids-at-wedding-post-but-different?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c72155c9-70b2-4fad-8f70-4f9fff0d017fPost:6299664c-92fe-44b1-a4ab-3c0cb34b21b6">Re: just another kids at wedding post, but different!</a>:
[QUOTE]How about making an exception for OOT guests?
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

This.  If anyone actually asks you why their kids were not invited, you can tell them that only kids of OOT guests were invited.  But it would be rude for anyone to ask, so I wouldn't worry too much.

hgminor

Yes, that sounds much better than a cut off age.

I've only been to weddings where it's either all or none when it comes to kids.  I definitely want my cousins to be there, and there aren't really any other kids (at least under high school age) that I can even think of to either invite or not...

Thanks, family circles sounds much better than cut off age

loca4pook

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-another-kids-at-wedding-post-but-different?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c72155c9-70b2-4fad-8f70-4f9fff0d017fPost:177083a7-9c13-4926-b0e8-9a91aa856aef">just another kids at wedding post, but different!</a>:
[QUOTE]I've looked around on other posts, but I haven't seen an answer to my specific question.  If it's already on here somewhere, forgive me :) I am an elementary teacher, so I do really like kids, but because of budget/guestlist/etc reasons I don't think I should have them at the wedding.  HOWEVER, my aunt is much younger than my mom, and her children are both in school (one in 8th grade, one in 4th or 5th).  They live out in Colorado and would need to fly in for the wedding.  Of course I want them there!  I have a very small family so I want as many as I can get to be there!! My question is, what would be your cut off date for a young person to attend or not attend the wedding?   I don't want anyone to see them and wonder why other kids couldn't be there, and I really don't have a problem with older kids- I just don't really want the young ones there that haven't learned to control themselves yet. As I write this, it seems silly, but still- could you limit your list to PG-13 or double digit ages only?
Posted by hgminor[/QUOTE]

I think people usually understand kids from out of town guests. I doubt people would give you a hard time

kabieber

I think it is fine to invite some kids and not others as long as it makes sense and isn't just "well I like this kid but not that one." We are doing kids of family and fi's godson. We aren't inviting our friends' kids.