Bridesmaid help!

teeny82

I'm the Matron of Honor for my best friend. My poor bride is so stressed out working two jobs, going to school and planning her wedding all while being a mother to three girls under 8. One of the other bridesmaids is driving her crazy and I'm short on advice to give her.
She only came to one of our get togethers to make wedding decorations, and she only made one. She skipped her dress fitting, and can't manage to find the time to do it, yet she has been to three concerts and out of town with some other friends for a girls weekend. The wedding is less than three months away, and she doesn't act like she wants to be a part of it at all. We have all been friends for over ten years, and this girl is extremely sensitive. All of us were told straight forward from the beginning what was expected of us, but this one is just not following through.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:1f5e6d57-6607-45b2-87e4-1c40e27c172e">Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm the Matron of Honor for my best friend. My poor bride is so stressed out working two jobs, going to school and planning her wedding all while being a mother to three girls under 8. One of the other bridesmaids is driving her crazy and I'm short on advice to give her. She only came to one of our get togethers to make wedding decorations, and she only made one. She skipped her dress fitting, and can't manage to find the time to do it, yet she has been to three concerts and out of town with some other friends for a girls weekend. The wedding is less than three months away, and she doesn't act like she wants to be a part of it at all. We have all been friends for over ten years, and this girl is extremely sensitive. All of us were told straight forward from the beginning what was expected of us, but this one is just not following through.
Posted by teeny82[/QUOTE]

Your bride told you what's expected of you? I hope to god she put you on the payroll. It's not your "job" or the "job" of anybody in the bridal party to help her with her wedding. That's the bride and groom's responsibility. If she needs more help, she needs to hire a wedding planner.

The only responsibility you and the other bridesmaids have is to show up in your dress , prefereably sober, stand next to her during the vows, and smile pretty for the pictures. Nothing else is required, and how this BM chooses to spend her time is exactly none of your beeswax.

teeny82

That wasn't helpful but thanks anyway.

ohwhynot85

Its not her responsibility to make wedding decorations. And if that was what was expected from you ladies, your bride is in the wrong. She has three months to fix her dress. Other than that, she's doing nothing wrong other than going about her normal business. Your bride has a fianc who should be helping her.

itzMS

I don't think you'll get many people agreeing with you here.

Nothing, nothing, NOTHING should be expected of bridal party members in terms of making decorations, reception set-up, etc. They are friends that the bride is honoring, not the bride's slaves.

Your bride friend needs to suck it up and have her FI help her with wedding tasks, not dump it on her bridal party.

ohwhynot85

In Response to Re:Bridesmaid help!:[QUOTE]That wasn't helpful but thanks anyway. Posted by teeny82[/QUOTE]

Not helpful because you don't want to hear the truth? Not every bridesmaid will hold their tongue and bend over backwards for a bride to help plan her pretty princess day. Hire someone to do it.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:e1bd79f7-c8b2-4006-8eb2-941fdc062edb">Re: Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]That wasn't helpful but thanks anyway.
Posted by teeny82[/QUOTE]

How wasn't it helpful? Your bride shouldn't have to be told that her BMs aren't unpaid slave labor. Were you actually hoping somebody here would give you advice to pass along to your bride on how to treat her so-called nearest and dearest friends like crap?

Calypso1977

My poor bride is so stressed out working two jobs, going to school and planning her wedding all while being a mother to three girls under 8.

sounds like the bride bit off more than she can chew which is HER problem,  not the BM's problems.  Honestly, wtih all she has going on, im not sure why she's having such a big wedding.  why cant her FI help?  its his wedding too.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:1f5e6d57-6607-45b2-87e4-1c40e27c172e">Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm the Matron of Honor for my best friend. My poor bride is so stressed out working two jobs, going to school and planning her wedding all while being a mother to three girls under 8. One of the other bridesmaids is driving her crazy and I'm short on advice to give her. She only came to one of our get togethers to make wedding decorations, and she only made one. She skipped her dress fitting, and can't manage to find the time to do it, yet she has been to three concerts and out of town with some other friends for a girls weekend. The wedding is less than three months away, and she doesn't act like she wants to be a part of it at all. We have all been friends for over ten years, and this girl is extremely sensitive. All of us were told straight forward from the beginning what was expected of us, but this one is just not following through.
Posted by teeny82[/QUOTE]

For the decorating thing, let it go. Not her job. Nor is it any of your or the bride's business what she did with her time and money instead. So, you all should let that go. Considering FI and I are doing all the DIY elements ourselves most likely, the bride should be happy that she's gotten so much help.

As for the dress, email her, politely but firmly, and tell her that she needs to get a fitting by x date or provide measurements by that date or her dress will not be made/altered/in on time. Ask if there's any way you can help fascilitate her getting measurements or making a fitting. If she doesn't respond, call her. If she responds but hems and haws, again, call her and get her to set down a time. That's the only thing you listed that she does need to do as a bridesmaid - get the dress.

Peledreamsofrain

It is absolutely wonderful that you are being so generous with your time and skills. It is above and beyond, and your bride will remember your kindness. However, it is volunteerism and generosity. That changes to free labor and pressganging when not offered in free will. You cannot force people to do free work in any manner that isn't massively rude. Therefore, no bride should force her bridal party to do free work for them. Nor should her MOH.

MoonlightSilver

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:ec5e57cf-505b-41b9-9d78-a0ab19118907">Re: Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bridesmaid help! : For the decorating thing, let it go. Not her job. Nor is it any of your or the bride's business what she did with her time and money instead. So, you all should let that go. Considering FI and I are doing all the DIY elements ourselves most likely, the bride should be happy that she's gotten so much help.<strong> As for the dress, email her, politely but firmly, and tell her that she needs to get a fitting by x date or provide measurements by that date or her dress will not be made/altered/in on time.</strong> Ask if there's any way you can help fascilitate her getting measurements or making a fitting. If she doesn't respond, call her. If she responds but hems and haws, again, call her and get her to set down a time. That's the only thing you listed that she does need to do as a bridesmaid - get the dress.
Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]

<div>Just to clarify- this bolded part is something the Bride should be doing, not a matron of honor. It's not really the MoH's place to get in the middle of the bride and her bridesmaids, unless the bride asks her... but I still don't think I would do it.</div>

ericaandtom2012

The wedding is in 3 months.  It takes 2 weeks max for a seamstress to do alterations on a dress. Maybe the BM is trying to lose weight before the wedding and doesn't want to pay for alterations twice.  This bride needs to chill.

As the other ladies have said, the only "duty" of a BM is to show up in the dress (presumably sober).  Decoration making, party throwing, and all that other stuff are a bonus.  It's great that you want to help your friend like that, but the other BMs are not required to take part in these activities.

MyNameIsNot

YOU need to learn to mind your own business.  This is not your place, and trying to get involved is just going to create a bunch of drama.  

It sounds like both you and the bride have unrealistic expectations for what WP members are supposed to do.  If you choose to help make decorations, throw parties, whatever, that's great, but that doesn't mean that the other BMs are suddenly responsible for those things as well.

If the bride mentions that this BM isn't devoting enough of her life to this wedding again, you should remind her that it isn't the BM's responsibilty and suggest that she curtail her demands.  

ReichertWedding

Why don't some of you ladies read the following Knot article regarding the duties of bridesmaids and educate yourselves:

http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx

All of your comments stating the only responsibility is "standing at the altar with you" are completely false. The demands of the modern bride are much more than they were fifty years ago, which seems to be the decade some of you are basing your comments on. Brides today chose maids and matrons who they know will help them manage all the different aspects of their wedding. Wedding planners are for the well-off, or for those bride's whose parent's are paying for their wedding and offer this service.

I for one am so tired of seeing the same women on this website post the same out-dated information over and over again, in turn misleading the new brides out there. You could try stepping away from this website to find out what the real world is like, and then attempt to give others worthy advice.

lauralaur

I got married in the real world, and strangely, I chose my best friends and SIL as my bridesmaids because I love them, not because they have great handwriting for invitations. I did all the planning myself with some help from H and it didn't kill me. Those things that I didn't have time for, simply did not get my time.

Wedding planning is only demanding if you make it demanding.

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:d297926c-ee95-4404-b885-e2c7500a0b9a">Re: Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't some of you ladies read the following Knot article regarding the duties of bridesmaids and educate yourselves: <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx</a> All of your comments stating the only responsibility is "standing at the altar with you" are completely false. The demands of the modern bride are much more than they were fifty years ago, which seems to be the decade some of you are basing your comments on. Brides today chose maids and matrons who they know will help them manage all the different aspects of their wedding. Wedding planners are for the well-off, or for those bride's whose parent's are paying for their wedding and offer this service. I for one am so tired of seeing the same women on this website post the same out-dated information over and over again, in turn misleading the new brides out there. You could try stepping away from this website to find out what the real world is like, and then attempt to give others worthy advice.<div>Posted by ReichertWedding[/QUOTE]

</div><div>I suggest you stop reading advice put out by the wedding industry and start reading etiquette rules set for my etiquette experts.  Right and wrong does not change with time.  Some things are simply black and white.  Being a "modern bride" does not mean that you can demand things from your bridesmaids.  I'm not sure what world you live in, but my friends would never treat me like their servant and I would never do that to my friends or family.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, do not get involved in this bride's relationship with her BMs.  I don't think the bride's expectations of her BMs are reasonable.</div>

SlothGoals

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:d297926c-ee95-4404-b885-e2c7500a0b9a">Re: Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't some of you ladies read the following Knot article regarding the duties of bridesmaids and educate yourselves: <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx</a> All of your comments stating the only responsibility is "standing at the altar with you" are completely false. The demands of the modern bride are much more than they were fifty years ago, which seems to be the decade some of you are basing your comments on. Brides today chose maids and matrons who they know will help them manage all the different aspects of their wedding. Wedding planners are for the well-off, or for those bride's whose parent's are paying for their wedding and offer this service. I for one am so tired of seeing the same women on this website post the same out-dated information over and over again, in turn misleading the new brides out there. You could try stepping away from this website to find out what the real world is like, and then attempt to give others worthy advice.
Posted by ReichertWedding[/QUOTE]

I'm pretty sure that, if anything, "the modern bride" should be independent enough to take care of wedding details on her own, and with the help of her Fiance.

Choosing, <em>"maids and matrons who they know will help them manage all the different aspects of their wedding"</em> is a ridiculous way to choose anyone to stand up with you on your wedding day. If that's what you want your wedding party for, hire wedding planners and stick them in bridesmaid dresses.

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:d297926c-ee95-4404-b885-e2c7500a0b9a">Re: Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't some of you ladies read the following Knot article regarding the duties of bridesmaids and educate yourselves: <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx</a> All of your comments stating the only responsibility is "standing at the altar with you" are completely false. The demands of the modern bride are much more than they were fifty years ago, which seems to be the decade some of you are basing your comments on. Brides today chose maids and matrons who they know will help them manage all the different aspects of their wedding. Wedding planners are for the well-off, or for those bride's whose parent's are paying for their wedding and offer this service. I for one am so tired of seeing the same women on this website post the same out-dated information over and over again, in turn misleading the new brides out there. You could try stepping away from this website to find out what the real world is like, and then attempt to give others worthy advice.
Posted by ReichertWedding[/QUOTE]


Lol so silly.

If I was choosing my bridesmaids based on the advice in the article, I'd be saddled with the nasty passive aggressive peice of work that has been treating me like trash recently because my wedding was 'too close to hers' (a month apart).

instead, almost all of my party is from out of state, but people so close to my heart that my life would be empty without them.

Go ahead and have your empty emotionless slave army of a wedding party.  I'll hug the heck out of mine and cry tears of joy on their shoulder.  And I'll also be proud that I didn't strain the relationships, take advantage of people, and did most of the work on my own.

Cheers!  It's all about what brings you joy in life :)

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:d297926c-ee95-4404-b885-e2c7500a0b9a">Re: Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't some of you ladies read the following Knot article regarding the duties of bridesmaids and educate yourselves: <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx</a> All of your comments stating the only responsibility is "standing at the altar with you" are completely false. The demands of the modern bride are much more than they were fifty years ago, which seems to be the decade some of you are basing your comments on. Brides today chose maids and matrons who they know will help them manage all the different aspects of their wedding. Wedding planners are for the well-off, or for those bride's whose parent's are paying for their wedding and offer this service. I for one am so tired of seeing the same women on this website post the same out-dated information over and over again, in turn misleading the new brides out there. You could try stepping away from this website to find out what the real world is like, and then attempt to give others worthy advice.
Posted by ReichertWedding[/QUOTE]

Yeah, my bridesmaids are almost out of state. Even those in state, I haven't really asked for much except maybe a night out for a drink because I need to vent. I chose them because they were my sister, my best friend since third grade, and my closest friends from college. One is a forester and fire warden for half of Virginia - she can't help with anything. Another is in her first year of residency as an anethesiologist. Another just had a baby boy. I'm just happy to have them all up there with me. it's on me and my fiance (and my mom is awesome and helping a lot) to do the wedding stuff...not them. they're just there because I love them.

I don't know whether I feel sorry for your bridemaids for having so much duty placed on them or your fiance because he's somehow not good enough to help you do what you need to do.

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:d297926c-ee95-4404-b885-e2c7500a0b9a">Re: Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't some of you ladies read the following Knot article regarding the duties of bridesmaids and educate yourselves: <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx</a> All of your comments stating the only responsibility is "standing at the altar with you" are completely false. The demands of the modern bride are much more than they were fifty years ago, which seems to be the decade some of you are basing your comments on. Brides today chose maids and matrons who they know will help them manage all the different aspects of their wedding. Wedding planners are for the well-off, or for those bride's whose parent's are paying for their wedding and offer this service. I for one am so tired of seeing the same women on this website post the same out-dated information over and over again, in turn misleading the new brides out there. You could try stepping away from this website to find out what the real world is like, and then attempt to give others worthy advice.
Posted by ReichertWedding[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm a young modern bride who was married two months ago, and the way I treated my BMs resulted in several things:</div><div>
</div><div><ul><li>I have pretty pictures of/with two girls who are important to me. They're also really busy but made time to come to my out of state wedding.</li><li>It was a delight and a surprise when they came down to visit me for a surprise bachelorette before the wedding--I expected nothing in the way of pre-wedding parties because my nearest and dearest were so far-flung.</li><li>Both ladies complimented my choice to treat them like friends.</li><li>I enjoyed 100% of my time and discussions with them.</li><li>We're still friends.</li></ul></div>

missglinda14

In Response to Re:Bridesmaid help!:[QUOTE]Why don't some of you ladies read the following Knot article regarding the duties of bridesmaids and educate yourselves: <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaidsmotherofthebride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaidsdutiesindetail.aspxAll">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaidsmotherofthebride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaidsdutiesindetail.aspxAll</a> of your comments stating the only responsibility is "standing at the altar with you" are completely false. The demands of the modern bride are much more than they were fifty years ago, which seems to be the decade some of you arenbsp;basing yournbsp;comments on. Brides today chose maids and matrons who they know will help them manage all the different aspects of their wedding. Wedding planners are for the welloff, or for those bride's whose parent's are paying for their wedding and offer this service. I for one am so tired of seeing the same women on this website post the same outdated information over and over again, in turn misleading the new brides out there. You could try stepping away from this website to find out what the real world is like, and then attempt to give others worthy advice. Posted by ReichertWedding[/QUOTE]



This article was written by TK and TK is part of the wedding industry, key word being industry. They are trying to make money and brainwashing the bride into thinking her friends and family have to do certain things is how they make a lot of money. Take it from someone who was set straight by the ladies on this and other boards, it is all brainwashing. Is it worth ruining 10 years of friendship because she didn't want to tie tiny ribbons on tiny bottles of bubbles? Something she doesn't even have to do?



OP, tell your bride to tell the maid in question the very last day she can order the dress and still have it on time and then let it go. As far as the other stuff goes, the bride should be so lucky to have so much help from you and the other maids. She should be thankful instead of complaining. And if she won't listen, send her here and these wonderful women will tell her what's what.

s-aries8990

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:ec5e57cf-505b-41b9-9d78-a0ab19118907">Re: Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bridesmaid help! : For the decorating thing, let it go. Not her job. Nor is it any of your or the bride's business what she did with her time and money instead. So, you all should let that go. Considering FI and I are doing all the DIY elements ourselves most likely, the bride should be happy that she's gotten so much help. As for the dress, email her, politely but firmly, and tell her that she needs to get a fitting by x date or provide measurements by that date or her dress will not be made/altered/in on time. Ask if there's any way you can help fascilitate her getting measurements or making a fitting. If she doesn't respond, call her. If she responds but hems and haws, again, call her and get her to set down a time. That's the only thing you listed that she does need to do as a bridesmaid - get the dress.
Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]

This.

KellyBrian2013

I had two of my five BMs in town, a third lives in-state about an hour away, and the remaining two (including my MOH) are out of state. You know who helped me with wedding planning and getting stuff done? My (then) fiance. It's his wedding too. And I was blessed with a mom who enjoyed being involved as well, so she, too, helped me.

My MOH did, ultimately, help me tie ribbon and "Thank You" charms on 250 bags of cookies. Why? Because I didn't EXPECT it or DEMAND it of her. Heck, I told her to enjoy some tv while I finished it up and she insisted on helping.

Treat your BMs like the friends that they are. If you want wedding slaves to help plan, complete decorations, etc. then hire people. Don't make your friends do it. You'll be much happier and have much better relationships for it.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c76e9353-acdd-4703-b1f0-55f61e367786Post:d297926c-ee95-4404-b885-e2c7500a0b9a">Re: Bridesmaid help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't some of you ladies read the following Knot article regarding the duties of bridesmaids and educate yourselves: <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx</a> All of your comments stating the only responsibility is "standing at the altar with you" are completely false. The demands of the modern bride are much more than they were fifty years ago, which seems to be the decade some of you are basing your comments on. Brides today chose maids and matrons who they know will help them manage all the different aspects of their wedding. Wedding planners are for the well-off, or for those bride's whose parent's are paying for their wedding and offer this service. I for one am so tired of seeing the same women on this website post the same out-dated information over and over again, in turn misleading the new brides out there.<strong> You could try stepping away from this website to find out what the real world is like, and then attempt to give others worthy advice.
</strong>Posted by ReichertWedding[/QUOTE]

Like list who <u>isn't</u> invited on the invitation, which is a piece of stellar advice you've given in the past? Or how it's okay to not give a guest a +1 if the bride and groom have never met their significant other, regardless of how long they've been together?

mysi019

Here is my question though...even though its not expected of them. Why wouldnt they wanna help? I have been in numerous weddings, spent lots of time making wedding decorations, helped make favors, even ran from place to place for one bride (when i was the maid of honor for) who lived out of town and didnt trust anyone but me to measure tables not even the ppl who worked there. I wasnt expected by any of the brides whose wedding i was in to do this stuff however I expected myself to. Dont get me wrong, they asked of course and I was there.  Its a stressfull time and I as a good/close  friend who wanted to help any way I could. Plus those were some fun times for the wedding party to just hang out. I am getting married in 8 months and inless I start dicating jobs to my wedding party I think they are all going to freak out. Everyday a different one calls and says what can I do for you. I havent given them anything...cuz at this time I got everything under control....give me a few more months : )
The bride though should handle it not you. Maybe there is some underlying issues somewhere that the BM has going on. I will prob get nasty replies for saying that. But really who doesnt want to help there friend??? Though I do have to agree what she chooses to do is no ones business. She would rather go to concerts thats her choice.