Chucks and tails?

sarah0725

The other night, FI told me that for the wedding, he wants to wear Chuck Taylors and a tailcoat.

What would you think if your FI told you that?

I know it's totally his decision, but I kind of think it's over the top and would look hobo clownish. However, one of the reasons I want to marry him is because he is nuts. So, I'm torn. I'm also hoping he'll forget he said it or change his mind, given that our wedding is still more than a year and a half away.

But, just for the sake of argument, thoughts?

agk0125

I would give my FI the side eye if he said that to me, but that might be because it'd be very out of character for him.

If it makes you feel any better my FI doesn't want to wear shoes to our outdoor ceremony and unfortunately our wedding is close enough that he won't forget OR change his mind. At least your FI wants to wear proper footwear!

Stackeye210

I went to a wedding where the girls wore pink chucks and the men wore black chucks.  Not my thing, at all.  But it was totally their style.  If he's trying to be original just make sure he knows it's been done plenty of times before. 

Maybe compromise, let him wear them for the reception. 

angiebear11

Personally I don't like the look of chucks with suits in general. I think the look is way overdone, but if that's what your FI wants, that's what your FI wants.  Would you want him to dictate what you're going to wear on your wedding day?

laurenclaire1386

Eeeh, it wouldn't really bother me at all. I also wear Chucks every day of my life, so I'm kind of partial to them anyway.

JessAndTrav

DH and the GM wore chuck taylors.

I don't know about the tailcoat, but I say let him do it if it fits his personality.

DH loves that he wore chuck taylors at the wedding.

Stackeye210

And BTW, my husband wore SILVER dress shoes that were the same design as his silver vest, so I can't comment on anybody's personal styles of wedding wear.  LOL.  But it was so totally his style since he has a serious shoe obsession, it was like people expected him to have some loud shoes on. 

sarah0725

Well, I'm growing my hair long because I asked him how he thinks I look prettiest, and he said he'd like the idea of me having my hair in a fancy bun. In some respects, I think we should both be dressing to be the best versions of ourselves for each other.

I could get behind one or the other. Not so much tails, but if he wanted to wear a morning coat and look all spiffy, that would be fine, because he is a giant tree of a man and a long coat would look nice on him. Likewise, if he wanted to dress it down a little and wear chucks, then fine, he's kinda punk rock and again he's pretty hot and could pull it off.

But together? It's sort of like the old adage where before you go out the door, you should look in the mirror and take off one accessory.

squirrly

I think it's too much.  I vote for helping him forget. 

pandasquishy

I'm anal about tails.  If it's before 5pm, he should not be wearing tails.  

Also, I get the chucks with a regular tux.  NMS, but I get it.  I don't get them with tails at all.  But it is his decision.

sarah0725

So should I try gently knocking him in the head once a week to facilitate forgetfulness?

temerityjane

We're both planning to wear custom chucks. It's pretty played out and the standard "look how wild/hip/totally unique we are!" bride/groom shoewear, but whatevers, if you like chucks, you like chucks, you know?

However, there are etiquette rules dictating when tails are worn. I don't know what they are. But there are rules.

ETA: That didn't really come out the way I meant it, I pretty much meant to say that Chucks aren't THAT crazy anymore (but obv I like the style). The tails thing is what I would give a weird look to. Not even the combination of chucks and tails. just the tails. Because of the rules. Which I don't actually know. But I know they exist.

danieliza1127

My H wore chucks at our reception, but his tux didn't have tails.  I think tails are kind of outdated, no offense to anyone who had them.  Maybe encourage him to go try on tuxes at the tux shop while wearing a pair of chucks so he gets an idea of what it looks like.

georgia_bride09

The Chucks wouldn't bother me so much, but I'd ask him to maybe tone it down with just a suit. But then, I don't get tails anyway. So maybe he can compromise with one or the other? You know there are a ton of Chucks pics on TK; maybe show him how they'd look with a suit?

pandasquishy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_chucks-tails?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c7e9ae0a-805c-417d-ae2a-a1de66d4268cPost:eda24e37-fa1f-4ecf-827c-f536fce9a04f">Re: Chucks and tails?</a>:
[QUOTE]So should I try gently knocking him in the head once a week to facilitate forgetfulness? :)
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

<div>I would if that were my FI.</div>

hayleymajayley

Chucks may be a bit overdone, but can still look good.



but not with tails.


I vote for hitting him on the head on a weekly basis until he forgets. ugh I just hate tails. Now I better not curse myself, FI is going tux shopping this weekend and I get no input, I hope he doesn't pick anything that crazy!

sarah0725

TJ, I totally agree and understand on both counts. I think the chuchks would probably end up being the #1 thing most likely to date our wedding pictures, because they're so popular RIGHT NOW, but still I can understand why FI likes the idea. There are so few wedding trends that are tailor-made to make guys happy, and I can see why the thought of wearing sneakers with a tux is appealing.

You're not supposed to wear tails before 5pm, and we're getting married at 11:30am inside a giant elephant at the beach. I had pretty much gotten FI to the point that he was agreeing to a morning coat, which would be appropriate to the time of day if a bit formal, but then the chucks thing happened. And his mother is no help - she just encourages him.

tenofcups4me

The combination would really bug me. It's either a "formal" affair or it's not. To me, combining them isn't quirky or original; just bad taste. The two don't go together (but I also think wedding gowns and flip-flops are horrendous).

pandasquishy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_chucks-tails?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c7e9ae0a-805c-417d-ae2a-a1de66d4268cPost:54253a4f-8393-46f6-adab-ccb3d0e192cb">Re: Chucks and tails?</a>:
[QUOTE]The combination would really bug me. It's either a "formal" affair or it's not. To me, combining them isn't quirky or original; just bad taste. The two don't go together (but I also think wedding gowns and flip-flops are horrendous).
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  And it's 11:30 am?  On the beach?  Tails are the opposite of what he should be looking to wear!  Shove to Emily Post at him, perhaps.</div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Gross. I'd be like, "This is the most important day in your life and the fanciest party we will probably ever throw. And you can't be bothered to wear dress shoes?"

MAYBE for the reception, or the end of the reception or something...

God knows my attire isn't going to be that comfortable. At least he gets to wear flats and pants!

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_chucks-tails?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c7e9ae0a-805c-417d-ae2a-a1de66d4268cPost:6974a89b-5093-4a64-8358-75d8beccef45">Re: Chucks and tails?</a>:
[QUOTE]we're getting married at 11:30am inside a giant elephant at the beach. [/QUOTE]

Come again?

FWIW, I think the Chucks are kinda cute and everyone would know that your groom chose them for himself, as an expression of his sense of style.  I find that kind of adorable and it's not a big huge "hey look at me - look how unique I am" kind of thing - they're shoes. 

sarah0725

ohwhynot, see my bio.

To play devil's advocate, the reason I was trying to come up with a compromise solution with him on the tails is that I understand that our weddings are supposed to be expression of our style as a couple and as individuals. Myself, I try to be as non-froofy and informal as possible - some of you may remember that I'm researching how to go about hacking a train off a wedding dress. FI tends to go for big theatrical statements (you should see his collection of silly hats) and I understand that he's kind of chafing at the idea that men's choices for wedding formalwear are so understated in comparison to what the bride gets to choose from.

But really. I need to do something about this.

FutureMrsTR

I think the Chucks and tux thing is kind of over-done, but if he likes it by all means, have at it. 

The tails thing would make me give him the side eye, as a guest.  I get wanting to have your own style and all, but especially considering the tone of your wedding I think the tails would just look silly.  And not good silly, ridiculous-why-did-you-do-that-on-your-wedding-day silly.

ohwhynot

Oh man - that may be the coolest thing I've seen on here.  Top 5, definitely.  Why can't I get married in an elephant?!?

Is it possible your fiance is jerking your chain? 

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_chucks-tails?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c7e9ae0a-805c-417d-ae2a-a1de66d4268cPost:06ec5e82-315a-44a7-876e-20aa8682c2f3">Re: Chucks and tails?</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it possible your fiance is jerking your chain? 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

Unfortunately not, although we've both been known to play wedding-related jokes on each other in the past. I once had him half-convinced that I wanted to release a herd of celebratory goats to symbolize our love after we said our vows. Not sure how I got him to believe that one. :)

FutureMrsTR

Maybe let him wear a silly hat for your introduction at the reception or something.  I just feel that no matter how you want to express yourself, the ceremony is not the place for goofing off. 

Maybe it's just me, I really disliked the couple that updated their Facebook at the ceremony too.

ohwhynot

Ahahahhahha.  I don't really dare joke about the ceremony/reception with fi (at least not yet) because he's pretty nervous about the whole thing. 

Here's a thought:  as many posters have pointed out, the whole chucks/tux thing is pretty played out.  Does he really want to do the wedding equivalent of yelling "Waaaaaaaaasssssuuuuuuuuuuuup"? 

smokeybailey

FWIW-guys were doing chucks and other high tops with tuxes at my prom back in 89/90 so I would hardly say it's dating your wedding to 2010.  If I saw it, I would think that it was much older than that.

My sister and her DH both wore nikes to their wedding.  He actually didn't put his on until after the ceremony but she wore hers the whole time.  She changed into a t-shirt and cargo pants halfway through the reception so we were happy she made it that long in a dress.  But that is her style.

I think a top hat would pull the whole outfit together.  It would say ZANY in all caps.  Otherwise, it's a little odd.  He has a long time to make up his mind.  Don't worry too much about it now.

thesuninherhead

Nick told me he and the GM's would be wearing green velvet suits (and was serious). He later got the idea for spacesuits in his head (as in, NASA style- and was mostly serious) and actually looked for these. By the time he'd realised there were no space suits and I would possibly murder him should he locate them, there was no time to seek out velvet suits and he ended up in a regular one. Hopefully your Fi is similarly disorganised.

sarah0725

Haha Sun, that may be the best advice yet. If I don't bring this up with FI and don't help him figure it out, probably nothing will happen.

Night_Sprite

I told FI anything he wanted but tails.  He also would have been forbidden to wear chucks.  I think I'm more controlling than you are, though. 

From an etiquette standpoint, the guests might feel overly formal and not formal enough at the same time, so people might be uncomfortable.  To be fair, I'm not sure how to factor the elephant into this statement.