I think I got invited to a "wedding dance"

sarah0725

So FI came home yesterday with a "wedding invitation" from one of his co-workers - it looks like one of those Vistaprint rack cards, and it's "inviting us to join them at their wedding reception" at 9pm at a swanky wedding factory place in town. And apparently the co-worker had a big stack of them at work and was handing them out to people. Definitely just the dance, right?

Is this one of those things that is less horrible depending on where you live? I know nobody would do this in New Jersey, but is it more common in the Upper Midwest where I am now? Do I bring a gift if we go? If so, what sort? Is it probably going to be a cash bar?

I'm kind of inclined to go, because FI and I need opportunities to practice our dancing before our own wedding, and we can do it at this reception for free. And I think FI wants to go. Also, it seems like kind of a train wreck, and I'm curious. But am I being overly East Coast/hanging out on the E board judgey about it?

FutureMrsTR

I would go.  Take a card (with no money in it) and have fun dancing.  I'd treat it like a night out, assume you'll have to pay for your drinks and just take it as an opportunity to get dressed up and go out with no cover charge

waltzingmatilda13

It does sound like the dance only, but if you just plan on using to your own advantage, I would go. Don't bring a gift, maybe just a card.

danieliza1127

If you want to go, and it sounds like you do, then go.  I get that we tell people not to do it but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go once it's been done.

As far as whether it's a cash bar or not, who knows.  I would probably at least take a card either with or without a cash gift inside.  I wouldn't buy a gift off their registry though and I wouldn't spend as much as I would on a good friend or family member.

megk8oz

I'd be sure to eat dinner first,  go with a card (No gift) and just enjoy the excuse to get dressed up and go dancing for a night. And assume that the drinks won't be free.

sarah0725

Thanks for the advice, guys! I'm kind of thinking an Applebee's gift card, if anything.

I like the idea of thinking of it as a night out. We have actually been looking for places to dance lately.

cm42878

I would go, but were we live there are not a lot of opportunities to get dressed up and go out dancing. I love putting on a pretty dress and heals and going out for the evening, so i agree with PP to go and treat it as a night out! Oh yes and report back on how it was!!

[Deleted User]

It's actually quite common here to invite people to just the dance after.  I've been invited to a few wedding dances myself, in fact

I think we usually bring something smallif that's the case. 

Have fun!

Edit: "here" is Saskatchewan..

golden1215

I'd never heard of this (MN) but I guess its more common in WI so, they happen... it's your call.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

The only thing that would bug me would be if there wasn't a seat for me. I HATE going somewhere I can't sit and chill with a drink (whether I pay for the drink or not). Especially while dancing, and in nice shoes.

J&K10910

It is more common in WI (though I still hate it).  I'd go if you want, not bring a gift (card if you want), and expect to pay for drinks.  That way if it's open bar, you're pleasantly surprised   Oh, and eat before, obviously.

[Deleted User]

FI and I went to one in London and we will NEVER EVER do it again.  It's as bad as we tell brides it will be.  We don't have a car and had a take a taxi from the tube total cost 45 pounds, then it was a cash bar, and we got a freaking piece of cake.  

We felt totally out of place since we hadn't been there all day.  So weird.  

However it seems you want to go.  I wouldn't spend anymore then say $20 total. 

mrabin

I've been invited to situations like this in the UK as well. It's a fairly common practice. It was always fun, but I can sympathize with PP. If it will be more hassle than it is worth then skip it.

We're actually doing something similar and inviting our co-workers and some friends to come by at 9:30 for "dancing and dessert", but we're letting everyone know they shouldn't bring gifts AND that the open bar will still be open. I think it is a nice way to invite people you like, but can't afford to feed a sit-down dinner.