Wedding Etiquette Forum
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who makes the toasts

Im not sure if this would be under etiquette  but im sure you ladies will know the answer to this.

The DJ we have hired had me fill out what he calls a 'wedding planner' so he knows our first dance song, who's in our wedding party ect. There is a section for the toast and blessing.

I am having a small bridal party, my best friend  is my MOH, his best friend is the BM and our children our the flower girl and ring bearer. Is it just the MOH and BM who would make a toast?

Also who does the blessing? FI said at his brothers wedding, the father of the bride did, I wasn't there so i have no clue.

Any help on this would be wonderful
TIA

Re: who makes the toasts

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    Anyone who wants to, but don't force people to toast if they aren't comfortable with it. You also aren't required to have a blessing unless you are like ultra religious. 
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    I think the toast can be done by anyone. We are having my FI brother in law make the toast since he is a Methodist Minister. My father will welcome everyone and give a speech, then MOH and Best Man will give speeches. I think that if your children want to say something then let them. Its all about who you want to give a meaningful message on your special day.
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    ggmaeggmae member
    First Comment
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_toasts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c9ef3abd-dded-449b-ae45-2e3e2bfefadbPost:bf833471-d7e9-4297-b963-5cbd0d9b4247">Re: who makes the toasts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Anyone who wants to, but don't force people to toast if they aren't comfortable with it. You also aren't required to have a blessing unless you are like ultra religious. 
    Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

    This. We didn't know who was planning to do a toast for us until it was time to do toasts. We never asked anyone and decided that if no one was planning to, then we would say a little something. My 2 MOHs and SIL did a toast. A family friend (who is a pastor) of DH's did the blessing - this was important to DH (and his family) since he always says a prayer before eating.
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    Our pastor that married us did the blessing at the reception.......and our MOH and BM did the speeches, as well as my very best friend who asked me months in advance if she could speak at the reception. 

    Just don't have guests sitting their forever listening to speech after speech and anything pretty much goes.
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    I think you need to do what is right for you. Traditionally the father of the bride (as the 'host') makes a welcome toast, then the best man toasts, and sometimes the groom toasts his bride. Of course this can be rather antiquated these days. My MoH made a toast too, along with the ones I mentioned above. They all kept it short, funny and sweet. The issue is more with people who make long winded boring toasts rather than who is actually making them, you know?
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    At my wedding, my dad thanked everyone for coming before dinner, another guest said the blessing.

    After dinner before the cake cutting the Best Man did the toast.

    All of this stuff is optional...old-school etiquette allows a lot of folks to toast, actually, with the Best Man opening and the bride and/or groom closing the toasts. Usually, though, it's just the BM and maybe the MOH that toast.
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    I usually see the MOH and BM make a toast. I've seen parents do one too, but that's rare in my crowd. I also usually see the bride and groom do some sort of thank you/toast, but not necessarily at the same time as the other toasts.

    For a blessing, it depends. One, you don't need one unless you want to. (I didn't have one at either of my weddings.) When I have seen it done, it's usually an "honored" family member--a grandparent, for example, or close aunt and/or uncle who do it.
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    Thanks Ladies,

    I really didn't want to force anyone into making any speeches. I know that my MOH and BM were planning on making them. Me and FI joked with both and told them to make us cry. I know they arnt going to, its just sort of a joke I have with FI.

    I like the previous post about DH who always prays before eating. We do the same thing. I think I might  ask Fi if he would like to do that.

     I dont think my dad would be comfortable welcoming anyone, hes sort of shy. I might just have the DJ announce us when we walk in.

    Thanks again ladies, I was really confused (and at this point it doesnt take much lol)
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