Wedding Etiquette Forum

Ceremony/Reception/Afterparty HELP

I am struggling BIG time trying to mesh my families ideas of a wedding and reception with my future in laws idea of a wedding and reception.

My family- Small, intimate family affair. Inexpensive. 
Future in law- Huge party you only get to have once. Go all out. Go crazy.

There is NO way to make both sides of the family happy. I'm going insane. And the future in laws want to pitch in 3x's more than what my family can pitch in. Thats driving my mom insane.

So here's my idea. Take most pictures before the wedding. (I know some people aren't huge fans of that, but I am.) 6pm Have the wedding. Everybody comes to the wedding. 7pm Send the majority of the guests to the "party" for the cocktail hour business while the family stays at the church for the giant group pictures and then a small short "reception" at the church in the parish hall. Little snacks, punch, soft music. 8pm the family and yours truly show up to the "party" for dinner and dancing and drinks. 

My mom gets the family affair reception, the in laws get the party. I really like it. But everyone on this board seems to LOATHE the idea of more than one "event" after the wedding. If anyone has any other suggestions on how to make both families happy I am certainly open to anything at this point. Helpppppppppp
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