Asking people to not wear blue

Marytary

Hi! I know you can't ask people what to wear apart for black tie but I would also like to add in some form that they can't wear blue since my wedding gown is royal blue.

Is it tacky? Is there any form to do it in a subtle way?

achiduck

Nope, there is no polite way to tell people what they can and can't wear.

No one will confuse your for a guest.

itzMS

Sorry you can't do this.

I saw your dress in one of your other posts. Trust me, no one will mistake one of your guests who happens to wear a blue cocktail dress for you as the bride.

Women still wear mostly white/cream dresses to weddings even when it's a fairly well known faux pas. It is what it is.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:2e75569f-e37a-4d77-a16f-6eafb5958021">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry you can't do this.<strong> I saw your dress in one of your other posts. Trust me, no one will mistake one of your guests who happens to wear a blue cocktail dress for you as the bride.</strong> Women still wear mostly white/cream dresses to weddings even when it's a fairly well known faux pas. It is what it is.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

This.  I saw your dress too and I don't care if every single person at your wedding wears blue, you will still be noticed.

jessicabessica

There's not a way to tell people what to wear or not to wear.  It's tacky to wear white to weddings because that's the traditional wedding dress color, but you still can't tell guests not to wear it.  I think it would be fine to spread by word of mouth that your dress is royal blue--that will alert people to your less traditional choice so that if they choose, they can pick their attire accordingly.  Did you just pick royal blue, or is it a custom for you?  I only ask because if it's a custom/tradition, people may already know.  

Have you already done your invitations?  I generally try not to wear the same color that is on the invitation, because I figure the bridesmaids will probably be wearing it if it's the wedding color.  You could incorporate royal blue into the design of your invitations.  

heroeswearbrown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:0d51b382-b86b-4018-8fb1-4eb960d8dc11">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE] Have you already done your invitations? I generally try not to wear the same color that is on the invitation, because I figure the bridesmaids will probably be wearing it if it's the wedding color.  You could incorporate royal blue into the design of your invitations.  
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

This! FI's best friend is getting married in a month and despite FI being in the wedding party, we have no idea the colors, so I was hoping to get some insight from the invitaions, but they are pearl white with black letters (o_o oiy.) So I am just wearing a dress hoping I am not wearing their wedding colors.

Marytary

Thanks to all responses!

I'm kinda lost since I don't personally know anyone who married in colored gown.

I like the idea of adding blue to the invitations and letting people know my dress is blue.

I'm not really concerned since I hope no one comes with a tiara and a veil LOL but my FMIL is very concerned about it, so I wanted to know if someone had an idea.

warpedredpenguin

My dress was red, which half of the guests knew, and half didn't. Maybe 10 people wore red, I think. Mostly women. Wasn't a big deal. Everyone still knew who I was and why they were there. A lot of people who knew my dress color actually took the opportunity to wear white to a wedding! So yeah, let it be known your dress is blue, and most people will stay away from it, but those who don't probably wouldn't have even if you asked them.

A friend of mine put on her wedding website  "we ask that you dress on the fancier side of your wardrobe. We want to see you dressed up. And remember, wearing white is the bride's job" and now a bunch of us have said we're going to wear white pants, just because she told adults how to dress for a wedding. Of course we're not, but point is, it's bad form to tell people what to wear, because they're going to wear what they want regardless. 

StephJean83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:f04ff365-df6c-4d10-b2c9-3b70ed84d793">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking people to not wear blue : This! FI's best friend is getting married in a month and despite FI being in the wedding party, we have no idea the colors, so I was hoping to get some insight from the invitaions, but they are pearl white with black letters (o_o oiy.) So I am just wearing a dress hoping I am not wearing their wedding colors.
Posted by heroeswearbrown[/QUOTE]

I agree with PP about spreading it by word of mouth but only if it is brought up in convo OR doing your invites with royal blue. I usually follow the rule of thumb that whatever color is on the invite is what the WP will be in and try to avoid those colors.

Heros, have you or your FI asked the bride or groom? If I get invites where they are cream/white/ivory and black, if I know the bride/groom or WP well enough(especially a BM), I ask one of them, otherwise see if anyone else going to the wedding we know might have an idea.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:a869e03f-030f-4f8f-b06f-811e5b64585c">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE] Heros, have you or your FI asked the bride or groom? If I get invites where they are cream/white/ivory and black, if I know the bride/groom or WP well enough(especially a BM), I ask one of them, otherwise see if anyone else going to the wedding we know might have an idea.
Posted by StephJean83[/QUOTE]

I was about to ask the same thing. Most of the weddings we've been to lately have been on FI's side and I've made him ask the bride or groom every time. I've never encountered anyone minding me asking.

amymaysa

You will still stand out. There is no polite way to dictate what adults should wear to a wedding.

It's really not a big deal if you wear the same color as the bridesmaids either

OwningAHome1981

I'm curious- not putting it down just curious- but how come your dress is blue? Sounds nice, just simply wondering.

Marytary

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:e0f67d42-f77d-4c08-8c2d-618dea02cbf5">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious- not putting it down just curious- but how come your dress is blue? Sounds nice, just simply wondering.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]
Don't worry, everyone has asked me :)<div>I'm gonna spend a lot of money in my dress and I realized that a dress in the same quality cost much more if it's withe than any other color so I just decided that it was better to buy a couture gown as my wedding dress that I can keep using for other events.</div><div>And then I just fell in love with a blue gown that's exactly what I imagined as my gown since a child.</div>

StephJean83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:53907cdd-315f-4587-bf12-ffe79a90a713">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]You will still stand out. There is no polite way to dictate what adults should wear to a wedding.<strong> It's really not a big deal if you wear the same color as the bridesmaids either
</strong>Posted by amymaysa[/QUOTE]

For me personally, I don't like wearing the color if I'm just a guest, especially if I am good friends with the couple. I have been to a few weddings and there have been guests who weren't  in the WP but felt like they should have been and wore dresses in a similar shade/style as BM dresses. If I'm doing something in the wedding like a reading or being an Eucharistic Minister, I might wear a shade in the same color family or same color with a design on my dress.

OP, Like you said, doubtful someone will show up at the wedding with a tiara and veil. What is your FMIL worried about? A guest coming in short royal blue dress will not distract from you being in the dress you plan on wearing.

kaa32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:234ce3e3-708f-4e1b-87a4-8b1edb9453aa">Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi! I know you can't ask people what to wear apart for black tie but I would also like to add in some form that they can't wear blue since my wedding gown is royal blue. Is it tacky? Is there any form to do it in a subtle way?
Posted by Marytary[/QUOTE]

I agree with everyone else that you shouldn't print it on anything.  I just got a baby shower invitation that said 'No Pink!' (it's a girl) and everyone is calling it tacky and snickering that they want to buy pink just to spite the soon to be mom.

Politely ask your and your fiance's closest friends and family to advertise that you are really excited about your blue dress, but "hoping" and nervous that no one else shows up in blue.  People will get the picture, but it doesn't make you look like a Bridezilla.

StephJean83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:b1739997-cc7c-4e21-8b2e-ba87727cd7fb">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking people to not wear blue : Don't worry, everyone has asked me :) I'm gonna spend a lot of money in my dress and I realized that a dress in the same quality cost much more if it's withe than any other color so I just decided that it was better to buy a couture gown as my wedding dress that I can keep using for other events. And then I just fell in love with a blue gown that's exactly what I imagined as my gown since a child.
Posted by Marytary[/QUOTE]

In other cultures, colored wedding dresses are very popular. I grew up by an Amish community and they would wear a light blue dress for their weddings. In the old wives tale of what day to get married on and what color to wear, marrying in blue meant your love will be true.

JennluvsPaul

This might be your FMIL's way of trying to talk you out of the blue gown and into a more traditional gown.

Tell her it is tacky to tell guests what to wear, and that you are not worried because no one is going to mistake you gor a guest, and you are proud and excited to wear your gown.

heroeswearbrown

No, FI's buddy won't know and neither of us is close to the bride. It's not a huge deal. I won't be wearing white and I'll take two outfits anyway since we're going to the rehearsal. I'll pick what to wear after I see FI's tux and accessories. NBD.

Marytary

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:c24a8df5-f636-4e29-be59-bc5b302dfa38">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]This might be your FMIL's way of trying to talk you out of the blue gown and into a more traditional gown. Tell her it is tacky to tell guests what to wear, and that you are not worried because no one is going to mistake you gor a guest, and you are proud and excited to wear your gown.
Posted by JennluvsPaul[/QUOTE]
I'm afraid because I've talked to her this afternoon and she also complained about the price and some other issues...

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:b1739997-cc7c-4e21-8b2e-ba87727cd7fb">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking people to not wear blue : Don't worry, everyone has asked me :) I'm gonna spend a lot of money in my dress and I realized that a dress in the same quality <strong>cost much more if it's withe than any other color </strong>so I just decided that it was better to buy a couture gown as my wedding dress that I can keep using for other events. And then I just fell in love with a blue gown that's exactly what I imagined as my gown since a child.
Posted by Marytary[/QUOTE]

Since when?

Letstrythis1001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:752d6fa1-455b-490a-bc8d-646e259f72b3">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Asking people to not wear blue : I agree with everyone else that you shouldn't print it on anything.  <strong>I just got a baby shower invitation that said 'No Pink!' (it's a girl) and everyone is calling it tacky and snickering that they want to buy pink just to spite the soon to be mom.</strong> Politely ask your and your fiance's closest friends and family to advertise that you are really excited about your blue dress, but "hoping" and nervous that no one else shows up in blue.  People will get the picture, but it doesn't make you look like a Bridezilla.
Posted by kaa32[/QUOTE]

Its tackier to buy something a mother to be clearly doesn't want. Not really comparable to what someone would be wearing themselves.

Marytary

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:5de48e3b-be90-4f0a-a48a-7176b4c44377">Re: Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking people to not wear blue : Since when?
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]
I'm not sure how it goes in USA since I'm in Spain, but believe me prices are outrageous here and you don't get the quality you pay for in most cases.

Shlby81

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-people-to-not-wear-blue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc0eec79-6db0-4b41-9bb6-b4022bc2eb66Post:234ce3e3-708f-4e1b-87a4-8b1edb9453aa">Asking people to not wear blue</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi! I know you can't ask people what to wear apart for black tie but I would also like to add in some form that they can't wear blue since my wedding gown is royal blue. Is it tacky? Is there any form to do it in a subtle way?
Posted by Marytary[/QUOTE]

Its ur day so y not?

mamabear329

I agree with other posters, let the info re: color of your dress be spread by word of mouth and let your guests decide what to wear.

By the way, I am super curious about your dress, especially since PPs have mentioned seeing it...post a pic here?