Wedding Etiquette Forum
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kids- guest list

i am worried about the growing size of our guest list.  we have a handful of brothers and sisters who have families of their own- with kids ranging from 2 years - 14 years of age.  we also have 4 friends who have kids as well, all under the age of 7.  we thought it would make sense to limit kids as guests to only those kids that are of immediate family (i.e. siblings with children/families of their own).  what starts to get questionable and touchy is the fact that those 4 friends who also have kids (and honestly, we are much closer to our friends' kids than our own nieces and nephews) can't bring theirs!  

we also have 2 cousins that have kids, and they are going to get offended too.

what to do?  

how do we accomodate all of them without having our wedding taken over by kids running amok and raising headcount for reception?

how do we phrase the "no kids" policy if it's only limited to certain members?

this is so hard.Cry

Re: kids- guest list

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    Personally I think it needs to be all kids or no kids. Otherwise its going to get messy. If you don't want children there then on the invitations just list the people (i.e. the adults) that are invited. If you decide to have some children there then you should allow all children there.


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    You address the invitations to only the adults. If/when they ask about whether their kids can come, explain that due to budget/space restrictions, you're only inviting your own nieces and nephews and hope they can still come.
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    Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
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    And yes, people may be offended, and it can get sticky. I think the thing to make sure you stick to is that it's ONLY your immediate family. If you start making exceptions, the situation will only get worse.
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    Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
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    I think it is okay to include just the nieces & nephews and no others, as long as you make it a rule and don't make exceptions.

    Everyone is different. FI & I are big kid people - we invited 65 kids (3/4 of them under 10)!!!!!!!!! But they make the ceremony more fun and I already know that my 10 yr old nephew is going to do his Michael Jackson dance, and my 3 yr old niece is going to do the chicken dance. We have 6 kids in the wedding party, and 4 adults.
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    We were in a similar situation. He has one cousin he is very close to and we really wanted his children there but had to draw the line somewhere. Most of our cousins have children and it wouldn't have been fair to exclude the others. We decided nices/nephews only. His cousin totally understood (he had no children at his wedding). I know there are many people who won't come because their children aren't invited. However, I know the guests we really want to attend will understand the situation and respect our decision.
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    I think it needs to be all or none as well. When FI and I made the decision we also decided that we wanted to help parents out, esp OOT guests. We are having a play room with a babysitter, movies and pizza at our wedding...if you can arrange that, it certainly helps parents out and makes it easier for everyone to make it, plus doesn't make it seem like you don't care -- which it sounds like you do! :) good luck!
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    How many more kids are you going to have if you include your friends' children with your nieces/nephews?  If we're talking under 5 more kids, I'd just invite them.  But if we're talking double digits, then I think it's perfectly reasonable to limit it to nieces and nephews and not make any exceptions. Most people understand that. 
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