Guest list and work friend drama

baird32

Me and my fiance are trying to get our guest list together. Its been rather interesting since I'm being rather picky on who I invite and it doesn't help that everyone expects to be invited. There is one big issue though. He used to work at my job. He had left but before he did, he had me hired in. He had a bunch of friends there and everyone knew he was going to propose before I did. Well I've been there a year now. He proposed towards the end of July. Well basically everyone that we've both ever said hi to expects to be invited. (its a law firm and there's quite a bit of people). I get asked at least once a week. Or the people already assume they're going. I wouldn't mind inviting some of them. There are a few I talk to everyday but I don't want to hurt anyones feelings. There's also a few people in my department that I would love to be there but the others would get offended. I've read somewhere just not to invite anyone from work but there's a few that he talks to still even though he's not there. I'm trying not to answer any questions by changing the subject when asked about something with the wedding so I can get ready to distance away from them to maybe lessen any hurt feelings. I know if we don't invite anyone, I'll never hear the end of it (a lot of people there are over-dramatic). What would you do in this type of situation?

em01092

Invite those you are actually close to, like talk to regularly or hang out with outside of work. If you have some "circles" at your work, maybe try to keep those complete, but by no means are you obligated to invite anyone much less everyone. 

It is rude for people to assume they are invited, so just handle that kindly. Don't verbally invite anyone, or you will have to invite them. Don't talk about wedding stuff to those you don't want to invite, and if they bring it up, keep things short and don't go into detail. 

If you think it would be easier to just avoid the BS and not invite any of them, all you need to say is the wedding is small and close friends/family only. 

MyNameIsNot

It's fine to only invite some co-workers.  Those who you talk to outside of work is a popular cut off point.  

If you're going to invite some, I would continue avoiding wedding talk at work, and quietly mention that you aren't able to invite everyone to the ones that are invited, and ask them to keep the invitation to themselves.  

alwaysyours3

I had a similar situation with both work, and church circles. My fiance and I both grew up in the same church and our parents have gone there for 30+ years. Like the other people have said, just avoid wedding conversation as much as possible, and also say that you are sorry you cannot invite everyone but "can't seat everyone... intimate feel... only family and very close friends... etc."

And if that still won't work, have a destination wedding! Only those that are truly close to you will come, but you could still invite everyone. Hang in there! People will get over it, and if they don't, they probably aren't the type of person you want to hang out with.

MandaK12

You can always politely reply that you're keeping it small, but you shouldn't feel bad about inviting people you're close to and not those you barely know.