engagement celebration w/coworkers

jessicabessica

We are not inviting coworkers to the wedding because my parents are paying, and they had so many people for the guestlist that we don't have room at our venue to add on to the guestlist.  It's also kind of a weird situation because my job is a year position (August to August), and I work closely with people, but I am not sure how much we'll be in contact when I leave in August.  I don't know what their expectations are, but I kind of guess they aren't expecting to be invited. 

Anyway, one woman from my office offered to organize a dinner at a restaurant near my house to celebrate the engagement where everyone from the office that wanted to would take my FI and I out to dinner.  Do you think I should graciously decline, or is it ok to accept?  I know it's not polite to tell people they aren't invited, but do you think if I accept, I should mention something like "we're glad we'll be able to celebrate with you, since our guestlist was restricted for the wedding" or is that unnecessary?

NOLAbridealmost

I would just decline to avoid any hurt feelings later.  This happened for me a couple times with friends of my grandmother who really wanted to host a pre-wedding cocktail party but who weren't invited to the wedding.  We just said no because it left a bad taste in our mouths. 

MattsPenguin

I honestly don't see a problem with accepting.  Co-workers are generally the exception to the rule about people who aren't invited.  My co-workers just threw a small "bachelorette" for me (I work with a bunch of women my age and we just went to someone's apartment for wine and cheese).  My FI's office just took us out to dinner on Monday.  It was a tradition that they do, and everyone really enjoyed it.

Carla1019

This is a good question and I also would like to know what is acceptable. When it comes to coworkers the rules are a little different. My coworkers are going to throw us a shower at work and if they wanted to do a happy hour / dinner right after work then everyone would be happy. I work in a corporate environment and I think they understand that everyone can not come to the wedding.

I would assume that you have to judge your work environment. I think it would be okay.

redheadfsu

Co-workers are usually the exception. Also, this just sounds like a dinner in celebration. I would accept, but maybe make a comment to the organizer "you sure no one will be offended as our wedding is a small family affair" (or something like that).

CaylaSummer

I wouldn't accept it. I think any celebration that has to do with your wedding and the people involved in it should be invited. They also might expect to be invited and may be shocked if they don't get an invitation.