A Bunch of Questions....

minko1986

Hello ladies!

I just have a bunch of questions that I'm not really sure what to do. I think I sort of know the answer, but I still want to get other's opinion..

1. Friends helping out a wedding. If I ask some of my friends to help out at the wedding (e.g., handing out programs, attending guest book table, etc.), do I need to gift them? I was thinking doing a DIY mug (the one where you draw on it with a sharpie then bake) along with a nice hand-made notecard. For about $5 per person, I think it's pretty nice. By the way, this is part of what I'm planning to do for my BMs. For BMs, I'll be adding a pair of earrings. Or should I just skip it all together for the friends helping but not in the bridal party?

2. Co-workers. There are some where I shared about the wedding plan and stuff. However, I feel that if I invite those few, I need to invite the whole team, which is quite big and just won't fit in my budget. I'd love to have them come, but my budget is tiny.. =( Do you invite your co-workers? 

3. Guests with dietary restrictions at a buffet reception. I'm havng a buffet reception, and some of my invited friends have dietary restrictions where they can only eat Halal meat (it's a special type of meat). I hate to tell them to eat only veggies, so I plan to order some Halal food separately. I don't want to set aside their food in a separate container, but I'm not sure if I should put it on the buffet table either. The reason is that I don't think I'll have enough for everyone and, therefore, don't want the guests without dietary restrictions to take them. If I place the dishes on the buffet table along with a sign telling people not to take unless you eat Halal, would that be okay? Is there a more subtle way of saying it..?

I think these are it for now. Sorry if I inundated with you questions, but I would really appreciate your opinion!

itzMS

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-bunch-of-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ce3a26b3-0ed4-4513-ad7a-162d31c30fe8Post:1207f605-ad9a-4959-b37d-9b285b8bb9f0">A Bunch of Questions....</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello ladies! I just have a bunch of questions that I'm not really sure what to do. I think I sort of know the answer, but I still want to get other's opinion..

1. Friends helping out a wedding. If I ask some of my friends to help out at the wedding (e.g., handing out programs, attending guest book table, etc.), do I need to gift them? I was thinking doing a DIY mug (the one where you draw on it with a sharpie then bake) along with a nice hand-made notecard. For about $5 per person, I think it's pretty nice. By the way, this is part of what I'm planning to do for my BMs. For BMs, I'll be adding a pair of earrings. Or should I just skip it all together for the friends helping but not in the bridal party?
<strong>You don't ask friends to "help out". Friends not in the bridal party attend as guests. No one needs to attend to the guest book or pass out programs.
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2. Co-workers. There are some where I shared about the wedding plan and stuff. However, I feel that if I invite those few, I need to invite the whole team, which is quite big and just won't fit in my budget. I'd love to have them come, but my budget is tiny.. =( Do you invite your co-workers? 
<strong>First step is to stop talking about the wedding at work. Second step is to determine how many guests you can afford. Third step is to determine if you have enough room for the coworkers you would like to invite. Fourth step is to privately ask those coworkers for their mailing addresses and mail them an invitation. Fifth step is to not talk about the wedding at work...at all.</strong>

3. Guests with dietary restrictions at a buffet reception. I'm havng a buffet reception, and some of my invited friends have dietary restrictions where they can only eat Halal meat (it's a special type of meat). I hate to tell them to eat only veggies, so I plan to order some Halal food separately. I don't want to set aside their food in a separate container, but I'm not sure if I should put it on the buffet table either. The reason is that I don't think I'll have enough for everyone and, therefore, don't want the guests without dietary restrictions to take them. If I place the dishes on the buffet table along with a sign telling people not to take unless you eat Halal, would that be okay? Is there a more subtle way of saying it..?

<strong>You will need to contact the guests privately and inform them to ask the chef/buffet server for the Halal when they approach the buffet. Do not single your guests out by putting up a sign. We had a similar situation for our vegetarian guests. We called them before the wedding and told them that the veg option would be available, and all they need to do is ask the server!</strong>

I think these are it for now. Sorry if I inundated with you questions, but I would really appreciate your opinion!
Posted by minko1986[/QUOTE]
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OliveOilsMom

Ditto Liatris.

I only invited 2 co-workers out of about 25 in my group.  I sent the invites to their homes and did not hand the out at work.  I also kept wedding chatter down to a minimum.

MoonlightSilver

Even with a buffet, you should have catering staff watching the food to make sure it stays full, right? One of those servers can bring a plate with the Halal meat to the guests with this food restriction. I would just let your guests know before the wedding that a special plate has been set aside for them, and they can just ask the server for one. 

minko1986

Wow, I wasn't expecting this many answers in such a short period of time!

I think I now know what I'll do. As for co-worders, wedding chit-chat was over some wine after work, so it's not like I talked about it at a team meeting or anything. As to the dietary restrictions, why didn't I think that there will be people attending the buffet tables..? Duh....

Thanks fo much for your comments!

Jen4948

1. Don't ask friends to "help out" by circulating the guest book or handing out programs.  This is something guests can do without help.  Just let the friends be guests.  If you've already asked them, a gift card or nice piece of inexpensive jewelry would be a nice gift.

2. If you don't want to ask all your co-workers (and don't forget, if they are in couples, their partners also have to be invited), I'd limit invitations to those whom you socialize with outside of work and not talk about your wedding at work or work-related functions.

3. Rather than put up a sign, I'd coordinate some contact between you, the guests with diettary restrictions, and the caterers, so that the guests know to approach a specific person or persons on the catering/waitstaff to get their food, rather than having it placed out with everyone else's if it needs to stay separate.

thurmanpowell

I have a similar issue with dietary restrictions, however I am lucky as my Muslim and Jewish guests will all eat meat that is prepared in the halal/kosher fashion but aren't sticklers about the blood draining/blessed part of the equation.

If I had guests who were very serious about it I would make all the food halal/kosher (it's my understanding that Muslim's will eat kosher food as well although I don't know if it goes both ways for Jewish people).  Is it too expensive to go that route? All the coordination with the caterers and making sure everyone who needs halal knows to ask for it seems like an unneccesary added stressor.

Unless of course you NEED to serve pork or something

Kate61487

1. Don't ask any friends to help - none of those jobs are actually necessary.  Anyone who does help out at the wedding (usher, reader, etc.) should receive some sort of thank you gift, but personally a random mug that doesn't go with any of my other dishes isn't a gift, to me.  A $5 starbucks gift card would be much more appreciated.  For the BMs - don't get them matching gifts unless they actually all have something in common and similar taste.  Earrings are fine if they're individualized to the girls' tastes; if they are all matching and meant to be worn at the wedding it's not a gift for them, it's part of the wedding attire.

2. You can invite just those you hang out with outside of work (plus their SOs).  Definitely avoid any/all wedding talk at work. 

3. Like PPs said just let those guests know it will be available and to ask a server and arrange with the staff how it will work.  I'm sure they're used to that (with vegetarians, anyway)