Wedding Etiquette Forum

What would you do? (Inviting people to the cermony)

Initially, I wanted a small ceremony.  However, we often spend time with one of my mom's sisters as well as one of her brothers/his family because they live really close to us.  It'd be weird if I didn't invite them.  That being said, I know that if I invited only them and not the other aunts and uncles (6 others, plus about 50 cousins), people would be offended.

Here's the thing.  These aunts and uncles are from my mom's adoptive family.  She has a biological brother who is annoying as heck.  He's obsessed with having attention and will say whatever, whenever so he can receive praise or attention (not to mention he's the worst backseat driver, lol, but that's another story).  I try to be patient and nice, but he's gets on my nerves...a lot.  I really don't want to invite him to the ceremony.  Apparently he already invited himself and my mom said, "oh, sure, you can come."  Why, I don't know, as it's not her decision on whose coming...

So here's my question.  Is it okay to not invite him?  Or should I just invite the relatives who live in the same state?  Or...any other suggestions?  Argh I'm just so confused.  TIA

Re: What would you do? (Inviting people to the cermony)

  • I think you should invite him.
    image
  • Wow, fast responses.  Okay, thanks everyone. =)  I guess I'll just invite him and hope he knows how to keep quiet during the ceremony...lol
  • Yeah, at this point he is already verbally invited, so not to officially invite him would be kind of rude.   He's your uncle.

    Seriously, I have an uncle kind of like this....my Dad's only brother.  He's...I dunno...not quite right.  I guess he did a lot of drugs a few decades ago and even though he's been clean since then, he's still just mentally a little bit off.  Anti-social I guess?  Kind of like your uncle, he's loud and without meaning to, draws attention to himself.   But he's still invited to my wedding, because he's my uncle, my ONLY uncle on that side of my family.  I probably won't even notice he's there unless I go find him, and I'm certain he'll be just fine.   I guess the best way to describe him is "awkward, but harmless."   So yeah, he's invited.

    Invite your uncle.  I doubt you'll even think about him for a second on your wedding day, except to thank him for coming.   
    DSC_9275
  • I'd invite him because your mom already did.  But as long as you and your mom are okay with it you don't have to invite the other 6 siblings and you definitely don't need to invite all 50 of your first cousins.  You can invite or not invite whoever you want.  Our advice to invite in circles is just because usually it's the best way to avoid hurt feelings, but you know your family better than we do, and if you never see those 56 people you don't have to invite them.

    And just in case - anyone invited to the ceremony also has to be invited to the reception unless your ceremony is like 10 people and your reception is 100.
  • We started out making a list of who we thought would want to be invited and would be offended if they didn't get an invitation.

    Then we stopped about half way through.

    And we made a list of who WE wanted there.  Yeah.  We liked that list a whole lot more, so that's the list we went with.
  • whomever gets invited to the reception should be invited to the ceremony, unless it is an extremely small private ceremony with immediate family only. Your mom already told him he could come so you are kinda stuck, you will look like an ass if you don't, not your mom.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • If you didn't invite him then I think it'd be rude if he did come.  It's your wedding, not a family BBQ. My grandmother remarried...and while I didn't even want her coming to my wedding my dad talked me into it. Her husband however is not invited. I told my dad that if I see that man while walking down the aisle that I will turn around and refuse to get married until he leaves. However, it's not just because I find him annoying. He is a bad man that has torn my family apart and manipulates my grandmother. Some people would find my reaction to his prescence ridiculous, but it will be my wedding and why should I share my joy with people I don't like?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards