My friend left his wife... Who do I invite?

Ladycottington19

Hey, so I could really use some help with this. I recently found out a friend of mine had an affair, and is leaving his wife for the other woman. My DF and I are getting married in 4 months, and at the time of the wedding, my friend and his new girlfriend will have been together for about 9 months.

I am okay with not inviting his wife, we were never very close friends (she a lovely person, but a friendship just never happened) But I don't know how I feel about inviting the new girlfriend. I never particully liked her, and I don't know how I feel about having cheaters at my wedding.

Ahh. do I invite just my friend? or do I let him bring the new GF?

Beachy730

9 months is what I considered a serious relationship, so I say invite her.

I get not liking that he cheated, but unless you're so appalled by it as to end the friendship, you can't really choose to only punish him for it at the wedding.  

tenofcups4me

Invite your friend and his girlfriend. Certainly no need to invite the soon-to-be-ex wife who you're not friends with.

mica178

Assuming that he is in the process of separating and/or divorcing, the girlfriend can be invited.  If he's only talking about divorce/separation but is still publicly married, I don't know.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I agree with Beach. If you are uncomfortable with cheaters, don't invite him at all. (It takes two to tango.) If you invite him, you'll need to invite his girlfriend. Assuming he has actually left his wife. Since this appears to be public knowledge, I'm guessing yes.

blush64

If it was not a really good friend of mine I would not invite him or his girlfriend. I can't be ok with that sort of thing.

If it is a really good friend I would discuss it with my FI and get his opinion as well. I wouldn't want to lose a friend but even if it was a good friend I might just not invite him. (really leaning towards that one)

I just wouldn't be able to trust a guy who cheated on his wife. If your own wife couldn't trust you how could I? I don't know his story or him but the kind of morals that implies wouldn't sit well with my lifestyle.

In the end do what feels right for you because you have to live with it.

EDITED

mkrupar

If his cheating isn't enough for you to end the friendship then you should invite him and his new GF. Although you still have about 2 months before invitations go out. You might be worrying for nothing and they could be broken up.

Good Luck!

kat22885

"Friend and guest"

Ta da! Problem solved

AmethystMSU

All of the above. If you invite him, you should invite him with a guest, especially if he is seriously dating this woman. I completely understand your feelings on cheaters, but unless you're willing to end your friendship with this guy over this, you should probably invite him.

kristeno90

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-left-his-wife-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d146bdeb-899c-4102-b275-d7c3dc7516c4Post:4edfbec3-435e-4b6a-ae6d-2afed668b9f6">Re: My friend left his wife... Who do I invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]Assuming that he is in the process of separating and/or divorcing, the girlfriend can be invited.  If he's only talking about divorce/separation but is still publicly married, I don't know.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

THIS

Ladycottington19

I spoke to my fiancee about this in length, but neither one of us could come up with a solution until we got your responses back. it really helped Thanks!

we decided based on your thoughts that since its NOT public knowledge yet (i'm one of only a few who know becasue we are close friends) that we are just going to invite my friend for now. its true: the invatitions don't go out for a few more months. Maybe our decision will be made for us, but if in that time my friend makes public his decisions and continues the relationship with the new gf, then we will invite her as well.

THanks again! GREATLY APPRECIATED!

AbbeyS2011

A very wise decision. 

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!