how do you tell her shes not a bridesmaid

aclaro

Well this girl and me used to be bff's until about 5-6 years ago when we started meeting other people and making new freinds. Well now i have 3 girls that i love to death and they were the 1st ones i thought of as being bridesmaids and one of them maid of honor. Well when i told my old friend that i was getting married she automatically thought that she was going to be a bridesmaid...and i think even maid of honor. How do i tell her shes not in the wedding party at all without hurting her feelings.
She also thought that her boyfreind was going to come out as a groomsman but but by FI doesnt even know him and she got pretty hurt when i told her no that my FI was picking his own guys.
well second part to this is that me and my FI are planniing to have a really small wedding with close family and really close friends only..she wasnt one of my original people to invite either
i really dont want to be mean...

Asheia

If she is assuming that she is your bridesmaid and she is clear about that then just explain to her that you are having a very small wedding party and an intimate wedding. 

If you're going to end up inviting her to the wedding, then tell her that you'd happily accept any help that she'd like to offer. Sometimes friends just want to help their friends with their wedding regardless of their status within the actual wedding. There is a chance (although I doubt it if she is assuming her b/f is a GM too!) that she isn't even assuming she's a BM, but simply wanting to help her friend out.

thesuninherhead

The first thing I would do is figure out if I was going to invite her, and if not, next time she mentions the wedding discuss with her that you've decided to have a very small wedding etc. That will probably give her the hint she needs to end the presumption about her being a bridesmaid. 

 

If it doesn't (or you decide to invite her) and she brings it up again, you should be honest with her and let her know that you do appreciate her friendship and hope she understands that she's not in your bridal party. If she is a true friend, she will come around to this despite some initial hurt.