Wedding Etiquette Forum

How would you respond?

A few months ago FI had a major falling out with his best friend who he has asked to be his best man.  The ex-BM told FI that he shouldn't be marrying me and tried to recruit various other friends to persuad FI not to get married. FI was livid and basically cut him out of his life.

FI has gone out of his way to not reveal the details of the horrid things ex-BM said about me (among others, he said I was like an ex who cheated on him multiple times and did some even worse things that I won't post on an online forum).  As a result, many of his friends are unaware of the seriousness of the falling out.  They keep asking FI to patch things up.  FI is unwilling to do so, especially since the ex-BM is unrepentant.  He is frustrated, but feels that if he started bad mouthing the guy, he would be sinking to the ex-BM's level.  A few trusted people know and understand, and for the most part FI is content to not ruin ex-BM's reputation.

FI is wondering how to deal with the questions at his bachelor party and the wedding about "where is ex-BM?" or "why isn't ex-BM here?" Several of his friends are a bit nosy, especially after they've had a few drinks.  I've tried to reassure him that people are unlikely to be that rude, but he still wants to have an answer ready in case the issue comes up.  Does anyone have any ideas as to how he can politely tell people it's none of their business?
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