Please help! 2nd wedding - bridal shower???

ourtruewedding

I will be getting married (2nd time) in Sept of 2013. This will also be the 2nd wedding for my FI. My 1st wedding was in 1998 (in case it matters). My delema is... should I register for a bridal shower or wedding gifts? I don't know if it would seem greedy/rude/ect. There are deffinatly things we could use (bath towels, pot and pans, ect) but I don't want anyone to feel obligated to get us gifts. Do any of you have any suggestions? Personal opinions or advice? If so, I'd appreciate your input! Thanks in advance!

pokepoke27

No one is ever obligated to give gifts. Go ahead and register. And just like for a first wedding, you shouldn't broadcast where your registered in every way possible. Just have it available, if someone asks you for your registry info then hand it over. 

If someone wants to throw a shower for you, then they will. Don't expect everyone on your side of the family to be quite as excited for your second wedding. Some people will be, some people won't be. 

mari0225

No one is ever obligated to get a gift, so go ahead and register!

Also congratulations!

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-help-2nd-wedding-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d262ce31-8798-42df-89df-1a8582c99e3ePost:3cda503c-517e-44e5-a6e9-5106c149484f">Please help! 2nd wedding - bridal shower???</a>:
[QUOTE]I will be getting married (2nd time) in Sept of 2013. This will also be the 2nd wedding for my FI. My 1st wedding was in 1998 (in case it matters). My delema is... should I register for a bridal shower or wedding gifts? I don't know if it would seem greedy/rude/ect. There are deffinatly things we could use (bath towels, pot and pans, ect) but I don't want anyone to feel obligated to get us gifts. Do any of you have any suggestions? Personal opinions or advice? If so, I'd appreciate your input! Thanks in advance!
Posted by ourtruewedding[/QUOTE]

<div>I would say that registering is fine, but don't broadcast the registry unless asked point blank about it. (You can tell your moms and maids or closest friends about it in the same context: if anyone asks, there is one, but if no one asks, don't tell.)</div><div>
</div><div>Which is generally the advice I'd give anyone, first or second wedding. I've seen some posts recently that indicate that those with registries sometimes get the gifts for birthdays/holidays not associated with the wedding.</div>

jmayinc

That seems like quite some time ago, there would definitely be things you need. I would do what others suggested and register and have things available for purchase and be appreciative if someone offers to throw a bridal party. It's not gift grabby or rude to me. As long as you don't broadcast it.

jemmini6

It's fine to register because people use that for wedding gifts as well, but I probably wouldn't do a shower, especially if you had one for your first wedding.  That's really just a matter of personal preference though, I don't think there's anything wrong etiquette wise, and I wouldn't judge as a guest being invited to one, but I just wouldn't feel very comfortable having one myself.

lily_721

DH and I were both married before.  I did not want a shower.  I had several when I was married before.  I kept the gifts after my divorce and told my friends that we would just wrap up their original gift.  My MIL gave me a family party which was very nice and it didn't feel gift grabby.

We registered only because people insisted that we register.  We didn't want gifts.  I finally registered for more when a cousin said she was going to buy up the whole registry because I had so little on it. 

I was so worried people were going to feel obligated that I made it worse on the ones that truly just wanted to give us a gift and celebrate our wedding. 

freebread03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-help-2nd-wedding-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d262ce31-8798-42df-89df-1a8582c99e3ePost:64b48436-be71-4b49-938a-b5a9163c4db6">Re: Please help! 2nd wedding - bridal shower???</a>:
[QUOTE]DH and I were both married before.  I did not want a shower.  I had several when I was married before.  I kept the gifts after my divorce and <strong>told my friends that we would just wrap up their original gift.</strong>  My MIL gave me a family party which was very nice and it didn't feel gift grabby. We registered only because people insisted that we register.  We didn't want gifts.  I finally registered for more when a cousin said she was going to buy up the whole registry because I had so little on it.  I was so worried people were going to feel obligated that I made it worse on the ones that truly just wanted to give us a gift and celebrate our wedding. 
Posted by lily_721[/QUOTE]

<div>This sounds very strange.  Do you mean that you used a blender for a few years and then wrapped it back up?  It was actually rude of you to mention ANYTHING about gifts to any of your friends--people will if they want to and won't if they don't.</div><div>
</div><div>Nobody ever should feel obligated to give a gift-people will if they want to.</div>

ourtruewedding

Thanks for all the advice and input everyone!  It is greatly appreciated :-)