Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Seating Charts

Did you do one for your wedding? I'm watching Bridezilla's and this woman is just falling apart over it. It just doesn't seem worth it.

Re: Seating Charts

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    Yes, we're doing one.  I hate going to weddings and not having a place to leave my stuff.
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    Yeah, we did one. I don't think I've ever attended a wedding without one.

    For my first wedding, it was really simple. I asked my parents to do their family and friends and the ILs to do their family and friends. They both sent them to us, we made a few adjustments, and finished up with our own friends. Took maybe half an hour for 130 people. Maybe for some people it's a big deal, but it was a total non-issue for us.
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    no. I've never attended a wedding WITH a seating chart,or even assigned tables. it wasn't until I got to TK that I realized how prevalent they are. we're reserving tables for the families of the B&G, but that's it. everyone else will be on their own for seats.
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    Glenna Harding Photography
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    ggmaeggmae member
    First Comment
    edited January 2010
    I did one, but it was pretty stressful and like a really difficult puzzle. I'm glad I did it though - I think it would have been more hectic without one (we had 100 guests.)

    I think it depends on formality and # of guests.
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    I've only been to one wedding that did not have assigned tables for the guests.  When they opened the doors and let the guests into the room I felt like I was part of a herd of cattle being led to the pen.  

    Do a chart or cards so that guests know ahead of time which table they will be sitting at.

    One of the PP said she was only doing assigned tables for the families and everyone else was on their own to find a seat........please, please don't do that.  It is beyond rude.  It clearly states to your guests who aren't assigned that they are not as important as your other guests.  Take an hour of your time and work out a seating arrangement for the sake of your guests. 
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    I agree with ggmae that it depends on the # and formality. We had a sit-down dinner, so we had to have assigned tables for the waitstaff with entree assignments at each table. We also had H's two sets of parents who were mortal enemies and had to be sat as far away from each other as possible while still being in the same venue, so this was the best way to go for us. The table assignments weren't a big deal, but tagging each placecard with entree choice was a PITA. But we only had 70 guests, so it wasn't bad overall.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
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    I generally don't think it's necessary to assign a specific seat at the table for each guest, however assigning guests to tables is very helpful.  It avoids having guests half fill up each table with subgroups and then have other groups of people having to ask permission to sit down at a table. 


    Don't stress too much about the table assignments.  Most guests will be happier knowing where they are supposed to go than being seated with the absolutely optimal set of people.

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    I've been to a couple weddings where there were not assigned tables, and I did not have pleasant experiences. It was like first-day-of-school-cafeteria-lunch all over again.

    The worst was this one wedding: I was a BM assigned to the head table and my bf was left to fend for himself (yet again why you shouldn't separate couples for the sake of a head table). He knew no one at the wedding aside from me, and ended up sitting at the end of some table full of teenagers by himself. Plus it was a buffet in a huge ballroom, which created a clusterfuck of people trying to find their initial seats in a timely manner. Not a great time.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
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    We did one. I used Wedding Mapper.com to get the job done. I was originally using Post-Its and paper plates, but they kept falling off and I kept getting confused. Doing it with wedding mapper made my life much, much easier.

    I've only been to a few weddings with seating charts, and it's glorious. If the B&G did their job right, then they sat people that either know each other well or that have similar interests next to each other. This is the hardest part, but you will get thanked. (I did.)

    To help people get to their seats, we had these out in the pre-function room:




    It had the guests listed on the right side, the table number on the left.

    In this picture, the table number is on the right-ish side of the table, and the placecards are just little tent-style cards.





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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-charts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2663aba-1b2b-43ba-94af-0e25f4472dd4Post:66519ced-c5eb-4190-b089-4dfac5c97e40">Re: Seating Charts</a>:
    [QUOTE]We did one. I used Wedding Mapper.com to get the job done. I was originally using Post-Its and paper plates, but they kept falling off and I kept getting confused. Doing it with wedding mapper made my life much, much easier. I've only been to a few weddings with seating charts, and it's glorious. If the B&G did their job right, then they sat people that either know each other well or that have similar interests next to each other. This is the hardest part, but you will get thanked. (I did.) To help people get to their seats, we had these out in the pre-function room: It had the guests listed on the right side, the table number on the left. In this picture, the table number is on the right-ish side of the table, and the placecards are just little tent-style cards.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

    We've been to numerous weddings and it is much easier and less confusing for guests if there are assigned tables.  But what is also important is how guests find out which table they are sitting at.

    The easiest is  a chart with guests names arranged in alphabetical order--last name first with the table number beside the name which is what I think the quoted poster above is describing.

    The worst was to have tented name cards arranged on one table with the guests name and table numbers.  So many ended up on the floor and a few guests were left aimlessly trying to find where they could sit.

    Another good way  was to have a couple of teenage cousins sit at a table just inside the dining room with the chart in alphabetical order and they told each guest which table they were at.  It was a nice personal touch and the girls enjoyed doing it.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-charts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2663aba-1b2b-43ba-94af-0e25f4472dd4Post:1389161d-2dcb-44f4-a197-cbcc1f56d55d">Re: Seating Charts</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Seating Charts : We've been to numerous weddings and it is much easier and less confusing for guests if there are assigned tables.  But what is also important is how guests find out which table they are sitting at. The easiest is  a chart with guests names arranged in alphabetical order--last name first with the table number beside the name which is what I think the quoted poster above is describing. The worst was to have tented name cards arranged on one table with the guests name and table numbers.  So many ended up on the floor and a few guests were left aimlessly trying to find where they could sit. Another good way  was to have a couple of teenage cousins sit at a table just inside the dining room with the chart in alphabetical order and they told each guest which table they were at.  It was a nice personal touch and the girls enjoyed doing it.
    Posted by 7298607477829237[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly what we did.
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    The only wedding I've been to without one we ended up leaving early, before dinner, because we had no place to sit besides out on the deck (in 40 degree weather with the other people who didn't RUN fast enough after the ceremony to save a seat). It was the most disorganized wedding. And I just did not care enough to stand around in the cold while everyone else ate their food.

    Assigned tables make everything run WAY smoother.


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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-charts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2663aba-1b2b-43ba-94af-0e25f4472dd4Post:1389161d-2dcb-44f4-a197-cbcc1f56d55d">Re: Seating Charts</a>:
    [QUOTE]The worst was to have tented name cards arranged on one table with the guests name and table numbers.  So many ended up on the floor and a few guests were left aimlessly trying to find where they could sit. Posted by 7298607477829237[/QUOTE]

    That's odd. What you've just described--tented cards on the table in alpha order-- is what I've always seen. But I've NEVER seen cards on the floor or any other problem with people finding their cards.
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    JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited January 2010
    Maybe there was a toronado? MAYBE it was from the woman on Bridezillas who was having her outdoor wedding during toronado season and a toronoado actually hit in her city.

    I bet those name tents were on the floor, out in the street, in people's lawns.

    It's name-tent chaos!
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    Assign tables.  It may or may not be a pain to figure out, but it's your job as a hostess to do the dirty work for your guests.  Everyone's more comfortable with a "home base," and they're not glued to their seats all night...

    Also, don't just reserve family tables and leave everyone else on their own.  That's a clear indication that your families are the VIP guests...  If your family's good enough for reserved/assigned tables, aren't the rest of your guests?

    I've only been to two weddings without assigned tables - although both had reserved family tables - and they were disasters.  People were saving seats, moving chairs around, etc.  Not good :(
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-charts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2663aba-1b2b-43ba-94af-0e25f4472dd4Post:ad9dc215-1b06-4d17-acc8-aac365710021">Re: Seating Charts</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Seating Charts : That's odd. What you've just described--tented cards on the table in alpha order-- is what I've always seen. But I've NEVER seen cards on the floor or any other problem with people finding their cards.
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

    The dinner and reception were indoors, so no tornado as one poster described <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />, although a breezy day for an outdoor reception could result in cards being swept onto the floor.  What happened was, guests were kind of swarming around the table looking through the cards for their own name and some ended up on the floor and people walking over them.  It was very confusing and disorganized.
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    We are having assigned seating with tented cards and there will be someone from the venue there to make sure everyone gets their's. I have never seen them all over the floor with people stepping on them.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    We had our table cards as tented cards but I didn't see any issues - and that's what I've experienced the most.

    IMO, assigning guests to tables is the most courteous thing to do.
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    If you're worried about cards fluttering away, you could always anchor them down with the favors and lay them on the table like we did (small guest list made this possible):







    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
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