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I've been engaged since June and have quite a bit of planning done, but somehow I've never posted! I only started lurking a few days ago. Anyways, I'm actually getting married in Rock Hill, SC, but the SC board is totally dead. I hope you all can be friendly to a South Carolinian! I went to college in NC! Anyway, I had somewhat of an etiquette question that I thought I might get opinions on. FI and I are planning on having a head count around 100, so fairly small. He recently graduated from college and was part of a music fraternity. Since he now goes to grad school at the same school, he is still close friends with his brothers. (people just seem to stick around in his college town). He wants to invite a lot of brothers, but doesn't want it to be awkward choosing who gets an invite and who doesn't since everyone is still around and they are a very close frat. He wants to give a mass (verbal or email) tentative invite to all the bros (about 50?) and ask who would be INTERESTED in receiving an invite. We imagine this will make up approximately the final 20 of his 75 invite quota, based on who we think would be interested. These folks would then get a formal mailed invite. What do you all think? Would this be an etiquette sin? Should I even care with a bunch of frat boys?

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    allisonuncallisonunc member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think there are some who would probably say this would be an etiquette sin. However, my FI is in the Marine Corps and we basically just did the same thing with his Marine friends. Our guest list was getting huge. He wanted to verbally invite people and not send them and invite. I wanted to send an invite, but we were running out of space (and invites!). So he asked around to see who would even be able to come and we sent those people an invite. Maybe not the most etiquette-correct thing, but no one has complained and it was a good compromise. Hope that helps!Oh, and welcome! :)
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    ecuchikaecuchika member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have no clue if this is a etiquette sin or not!  I honestly don't think college guys would care or notice.  Is your wedding going to be close or far from where the guys live?  I would not make it more of a matter of interested or not but as PP said....would be able to make it, based on date, location etc.  Welcome to the NC board!  I grew up in a small town close to the SC border and have friends in Clemson/Central!
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    LVCKLVCK member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the opinions ladies! It'll be about 3 hours away from the school, so not too close and not too far... Location should weed out quite a few, though. I just remembered that we ordered way more STD magnets than we needed, so we might give all of them one of those (which just has our names and date on it) and he'll tell them to let him know if they want to/ think they might be able to come so we can estimate numbers and send them formal invitations. FI just now started really thinking about which of them he wanted to invite... when I really need a solid invite list from him for STD. This is the best I can come up with to satisfy everyone and still maintain SOME etiquette.
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    edited December 2011
    i just wanted to say welcome to the board!!!! i don't know anything about etiquette, i just say do what you want and can afford on your budget :)
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