NER: wedding planning burn-out

MayEleven

I'm guessing I'm not the only one: has anyone else experienced wedding planning burn-out?

With 3 months to go, there's so much left to do! I don't even want to think about it:

-final negotiation of flower contract

-find and book an officiant

-finish and send invitations

-get groomsmen fitted

-order bm dresses

-plan ENTIRE honeymoon (all we have are plane tickets, gifted from my parents)

-hair and makeup trials

-buy all the stuff I gotta wear other than the dress (and get dress modified)

-and so onnnnnnnn

I've done 90% of this stuff all by myself so far, and I'm feeling so incredibly burnt out. My fiance helps here and there, but he tends to "forget" or "not know" and such. My parents have been a huge help wherever they can, but I feel guilty dumping a wedding in their lap, since I know how much work it can be. They've pretty much the ones that have done the other 10% of the work, despite having such busy schedules.

Does anyone have tips for me on how not to go nuts? More effective delegating? Getting fh to "not forget" (I already email him lists and have discussions with him on what he needs to do... but they just get 'forgotten" about, too).

Thanks in advance!

zizibet

For the BM attire, pick a color and a general style guideline, ;I.E. pink, short, and let them pick their own dresses. Your FI should deal with the groomsmens attire and his.
  Delegate finding an officiant to your FI, and maybe finalizing some of the contracts. Have him help you with the invitations. You can't really delegate anything to anyone but your FI(unless they are paying for it).
   Maybe if there's something your parents are particularly interested in, delegate that to them.

NikkiJNR

Ask your maid of honor. And your bridesmaids to help out with some stuff. Part of their job of being in the wedding is to help out the bride and keep her sane. Lol

ericaandtom2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-wedding-planning-burn-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d29d0fca-69ca-4f99-bc62-a9d01bb3aebaPost:2061908b-d2dc-46a4-a5dc-1446c16f0ffb">Re:NER: wedding planning burnout</a>:
[QUOTE]Ask your maid of honor. And your bridesmaids to help out with some stuff. Part of their job of being in the wedding is to help out the bride and keep her sane. Lol
Posted by NikkiJNR[/QUOTE]

<div>No. This is wrong. Their jobs are to buy the dress and show up (sober) to the ceremony. If they offer to help, that's another story.</div>

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-wedding-planning-burn-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d29d0fca-69ca-4f99-bc62-a9d01bb3aebaPost:2061908b-d2dc-46a4-a5dc-1446c16f0ffb">Re:NER: wedding planning burnout</a>:
[QUOTE]Ask your maid of honor. And your bridesmaids to help out with some stuff. Part of their job of being in the wedding is to help out the bride and keep her sane. Lol
Posted by NikkiJNR[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>No. No it's not. </div>

tanyamary627

I feel you!! I'm a little over 3 months out and it's crazy how much needs to be done.  I kept putting things off thinking "my wedding is so far away, I have plenty of time!" and not wanting to be a bridezilla to FI about wedding planning the moment we got engaged.  Now there's 3 months left and so much to do!

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-wedding-planning-burn-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d29d0fca-69ca-4f99-bc62-a9d01bb3aebaPost:2061908b-d2dc-46a4-a5dc-1446c16f0ffb">Re:NER: wedding planning burnout</a>:
[QUOTE]Ask your maid of honor. And your bridesmaids to help out with some stuff. Part of their job of being in the wedding is to help out the bride and keep her sane. Lol
Posted by NikkiJNR[/QUOTE]



Not at all. If they offer to help, great, but it is not their job to help the bride and groom pull their wedding together.

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-wedding-planning-burn-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d29d0fca-69ca-4f99-bc62-a9d01bb3aebaPost:aac53e08-d2d5-412e-9202-b9e5814bdb86">Re:NER: wedding planning burnout</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:NER: wedding planning burnout : No. This is wrong. Their jobs are to buy the dress and show up (sober) to the ceremony. If they offer to help, that's another story.
Posted by ericaandtom2012[/QUOTE]

Sorry, OT, but your dress is gorgeous.

One of the main reasons I'm not getting married until 2014; along with saving money (#1 reason) and venues/some vendors booking 1-1.5 years in advance, I wanted to give my self enough time to plan and execute things with out feeling like I was on a very tight timeline.

Will this work out in the end. . . I'll probably still be doing stuff at the last minute, but I am going to try like hell to avoid it!

Prioritizing certain tasks was a great suggestion, along with trying to get more help from your FI.  I know it's not their jobs per se, but perhaps there is a BM or close family member that would be willing to help you with certain things?

Good luck, try to enjoy yourself, and breathe!

lifeonthehill

I know it is not the duty of your maids but if these girls are truely you best gals then ask them for help! Don't demand it but just ask if they could go with you if you have to go to the store for undergarments for the wedding or something.
FI and I are long distance and having my maids help with simple things like look over the playlist or go to stores with me have been an emotional life saver! I simply ask if they would like to help and they consent. I usually pay for dinner/lunch after.

bridalmarch

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-wedding-planning-burn-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d29d0fca-69ca-4f99-bc62-a9d01bb3aebaPost:417d5a76-c82c-41c2-a463-dc10f9a29552">Re: NER: wedding planning burn-out</a>:
[QUOTE]I know it is not the duty of your maids but if these girls are truely you best gals then ask them for help! Don't demand it but just ask if they could go with you if you have to go to the store for undergarments for the wedding or something. FI and I are long distance and having my maids help with simple things like look over the playlist or go to stores with me have been an emotional life saver! I simply ask if they would like to help and they consent. I usually pay for dinner/lunch after.
Posted by alyssaames[/QUOTE]

<div>Why in the world would you (general you) need help shopping for underwear? </div><div>
</div><div>"Hey, BFF...how are these Spanx on me?" </div><div>
</div><div>....no </div><div>
</div><div>My bridesmaids offered to help with crafts, so I am hosting a craft night with fod and wine for us. Otherwise I'd just do it on my own. I am shopping for my bridal underthings and my wedding night things on my own, because that's jsut a strange thing to need help with. </div>

TKzilla

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-wedding-planning-burn-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d29d0fca-69ca-4f99-bc62-a9d01bb3aebaPost:d99f8bff-ac27-43c3-b3ba-6f8ba172d577">NER: wedding planning burn-out</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm guessing I'm not the only one: has anyone else experienced wedding planning burn-out? With 3 months to go, there's so much left to do! I don't even want to think about it: -final negotiation of flower contract -find and book an officiant -finish and send invitations -get groomsmen fitted -order bm dresses -plan ENTIRE honeymoon (all we have are plane tickets, gifted from my parents) -hair and makeup trials -buy all the stuff I gotta wear other than the dress (and get dress modified) -and so onnnnnnnn I've done 90% of this stuff all by myself so far, and I'm feeling so incredibly burnt out. My fiance helps here and there, but he tends to "forget" or "not know" and such. My parents have been a huge help wherever they can, but I feel guilty dumping a wedding in their lap, since I know how much work it can be. They've pretty much the ones that have done the other 10% of the work, despite having such busy schedules. Does anyone have tips for me on how not to go nuts? More effective delegating? Getting fh to "not forget" (I already email him lists and have discussions with him on what he needs to do... but they just get 'forgotten" about, too). Thanks in advance!
Posted by MayEleven[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm with you, man. My mom and I were planning this wedding "together" but I've done all the work. It's fine though because at least I know it's getting done. Maybe set aside an hour every day to focus on "wedding stuff". Give yourself a goal every day to accomplish: today I will make my alterations appointment, today I will make my hair appointment, etc. Don't overload yourself!

</div>

lifeonthehill

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-wedding-planning-burn-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d29d0fca-69ca-4f99-bc62-a9d01bb3aebaPost:e95f16a4-1969-400a-9ab5-74361d9aa0c8">Re: NER: wedding planning burn-out</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NER: wedding planning burn-out : Why in the world would you (general you) need help shopping for underwear?  "Hey, BFF...how are these Spanx on me?"  ....no  My bridesmaids offered to help with crafts, so I am hosting a craft night with fod and wine for us. Otherwise I'd just do it on my own. I am shopping for my bridal underthings and my wedding night things on my own, because that's jsut a strange thing to need help with. 
Posted by bridalmarch[/QUOTE]

I don't mean she needs someone to help her pick it out but it is nice to have support and it could be a part of a day out.  Nobody died from support and if someone has girls who are willing to just tag along and make checking some things off of her list a little more fun then what is the harm in that?

erinlin25

I get a little burned out, when that happens I just give myself the "weekend off" or whatever from doing wedding planning.  Look at what you have to do and set aside some time to do it.  I'm 3 1/2 months out and we still have a good sized to do list-- but keeping me sane has just been giving myself a task to do here and there so I only look at what I need to do "next" and then its not so overwhelming.  This weekend we are registering, next weekend I'm meeting up with my mom and FMIL to look at flowers; then I get a weekend off and will continue with what is next.  Definitely delegate the things you can--especially FI being in charge of the grooms/men wear.  You're almost there and while it seems like so much to, there still is time and if you make yourself crazy you will not enjoy it--and you should enjoy it!