Not another TY question!

KellyBrian2013

We recieved a card from one of DH's former neighbors wishing us well on our marriage. He did not attend our wedding. In the card, he gave us his address and phone number and asked that H call him with our address so that he could send us our gift.

Apparently H never did that. We're now 2 months post-wedding, and I think it's too late to call him and say "Hey, here's our address for that gift you promised!" AND I'm not comfortable calling because I've only met him once. DH is convinced that this guy never had a gift for us in the first place, and I think he has a point: this guy knows H's parents very well, knows several other people well who would have our address, AND we saw him 3 or 4 weeks ago without him saying a word to us about needing our info (and I certainly wasn't going to bring it up).

So, do I send him a TY note for the lovely card he sent us? Or will that be seen as a gift grab?

emeejeeayen

How did he give you the card without your address? I'm confused. Did he give it to you before or after the wedding?

Avion22

How did he send you a card if he needs your address? I'm confused....

KellyBrian2013

DUH! Sorry, that's a my bad. He dropped it off to H's parents' house (he used to live next door, but is going through a divorce and his wife retained the home). Since no one was home, he left it in their mailbox. We were on our HM at the time.

Avion22

My opinion: if he knows how to get a card to you, then he should also be able to get a gift to you. If he wanted, he could drop it off at your IL's house just like he dropped off the card. If he hasn't done this, then it's probably because he doesn't have a gift for you. I agree with your husband that calling would be weird. If this is someone you want to keep in touch with, then maybe add him to your Christmas card list. You have his address, and if you send him a card then he will have your address. If he still wants to send you a gift (or truly has something already purchased) then he can send it. If he's not someone that you your H wants to keep in touch with, then I would just let it go.

KellyBrian2013

But do I write him a TY for the card he gave us? I'm leaning towards no...

I have absolutely no intention on trying to get this "gift" from him. Sorry if it came across that way.

Avion22

No, I don't think you should send a thank-you card for his card. That seems like overkill to me. I wasn't trying to imply that you were being gift-grabby, just that I agree that this is an awkward situation, and I think you are best to just let this guy figure out how to get a gift to you (if he actually has one). I wouldn't go out of my way to get my address to this guy.

hoffse

If there was no gift in the card then you don't write a TY.  Cards are correspondence, not gifts, and you don't thank people for correspondence.