What is the etiquette about late gifts?

malibustacy01

So everywhere I look up has all sorts of etiquette regarding late thank yous, but what about when the bride and groom recieve late gifts?  My husband and I have been married two months now, and we just received a card and cash from his aunt and uncle who were unable to attend.  I'm going to write them a thank you, but is there any etiquette around this subject?  Is it tacky to give a couple a gift x amount of time after the wedding?  Is the bride and groom suppose to still write thank you's as the gifts come, regardless of when?  Any advice would be appreciated!

aimers1525

No, I don't think it's tacky to give someone a gift x amount of time after their wedding. FI and I have not been able to attend several weddings for various reasons, but wei do typically send gifts/cards, etc. eitehr prior to the wedding or after the fact. For me, it just sorts of depends on what is going on. Last year, we were invited to a wedding NYE, but we were on vacation and got engaged. It was a crazy time with the holidays, engagement, etc. so I didn't have a chance to send a card until well into January.

IMO, it's proper etiquette to send a thank you note whenever you receive a gift; regardless of when you receive it.

golden1215

People can give a gift for up to 1 year after your wedding.

And you always send a thank you.

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-late-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2caa591-c2de-4af3-808c-a4c32e90c335Post:66486d16-ad35-49d0-8eaa-b21e2f479df1">Re: What is the etiquette about late gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]People can give a gift for up to 1 year after your wedding. And you always send a thank you.
Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]

this.

[Deleted User]

ditto golden & redhead

FutureMrsTR

I don't know when it would ever be tacky to give someone a gift.  It is always tacky to not write a thank you note for a gift.

Calypso1977

People can give a gift for up to 1 year after your wedding.

No, no and no!  This is a very common myth.

Gifts should be given to the couple in advance of the wedding, at the wedding, or as soon after the wedding as is possible.

Manwaithiel

Of course you write a thank you note. THAT would be tacky to neglect. I think you should be grateful for the gift regardless of when it comes.

golden1215

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-late-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2caa591-c2de-4af3-808c-a4c32e90c335Post:f883a515-6a2d-4dcf-8797-cbdb79598d58">Re: What is the etiquette about late gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]People can give a gift for up to 1 year after your wedding. No, no and no!  This is a very common myth. Gifts should be given to the couple in advance of the wedding, at the wedding, or as soon after the wedding as is possible.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

so should she not give a thank you?

and maybe 2 months after was as soon as they had the cash gift to give...

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-late-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2caa591-c2de-4af3-808c-a4c32e90c335Post:f883a515-6a2d-4dcf-8797-cbdb79598d58">Re: What is the etiquette about late gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]People can give a gift for up to 1 year after your wedding. No, no and no!  This is a very common myth. Gifts should be given to the couple in advance of the wedding, at the wedding, or as soon after the wedding as is possible.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

I'm not saying that you should wait one year, but it isn't really "late" if it is a gift. Yes, most people give gifts before the wedding, but many people do know and believe in this rule so it isn't wrong. My view is that a gift is never really late, as it never had to be given in the first place.

MattsPenguin

Well said, Redhead!!

LuluP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-late-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2caa591-c2de-4af3-808c-a4c32e90c335Post:089325e8-215e-4155-bb7d-924d48c641a3">Re: What is the etiquette about late gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the etiquette about late gifts? : I'm not saying that you should wait one year, but it isn't really "late" if it is a gift. Yes, most people give gifts before the wedding, but many people do know and believe in this rule so it isn't wrong.<strong> My view is that a gift is never really late, as it never had to be given in the first place.
</strong>Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

Yup. If you get a gift, you write a thank-you. Period. Regardless of when the gift comes or what it's for.

Calypso1977

i never said no thank you note, i actually didnt address that at all.  of course she should send a thank you.

and just because a majority of folks believe in somehting, doesnt make it true.

Calypso1977

from emily post:

Q. How soon should I send a gift?

A. Preferably, send the gift to the bride before the wedding or to the couple soon thereafter. In some regions gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. Contrary to a current rumor that you have a year to send a gift, it really should be sent right away or within three months of the wedding.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-late-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2caa591-c2de-4af3-808c-a4c32e90c335Post:6dd2c191-ef7d-4977-b280-8ff00c7155e8">Re: What is the etiquette about late gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]from emily post: Q. How soon should I send a gift? A. Preferably, send the gift to the bride before the wedding or to the couple soon thereafter. In some regions gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. Contrary to a current rumor that you have a year to send a gift, it really should be sent right away or within three months of the wedding.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

But Emily Post also believes that gifts are required when you receive an invitation, and other etiquette authorities such as Miss Manners disagree.  If you believe a gift is not mandatory, then it can't really be late.  Regardless, the bride and groom should graciously accept all gifts regardless of when they arrive.

Really, OP, what do you want to do?  Send the gift back because it wasn't received on your schedule?  Of course you should send a thank you note as soon as possible - that's always the rule.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-late-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2caa591-c2de-4af3-808c-a4c32e90c335Post:14dcc33e-1f0a-4c88-a599-e11e5d25d246">What is the etiquette about late gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]So everywhere I look up has all sorts of etiquette regarding late thank yous, but what about when the bride and groom recieve late gifts?  My husband and I have been married two months now, and we just received a card and cash from his aunt and uncle who were unable to attend.  I'm going to write them a thank you, but is there any etiquette around this subject?  I<strong>s it tacky to give a couple a gift x amount of time after the wedding?  Is the bride and groom suppose to still write thank you's as the gifts come, regardless of when?</strong>  Any advice would be appreciated!
Posted by malibustacy01[/QUOTE]

Why would it be tacky for someone to be generous regardless of the time it was given?  And why would you NOT thank the giver again, regardless of the time received?  I'm sorry I just think this is an absurd question.

SparrowSong

Seriously? Of course you send them a thank you. You are grateful they sent you something, right?

squirrly

It was a gift, not a payment.  Say thank you and mean it. 

Seriously, it's just nice that they even gave a gift.  Personally, for friends who have registered for china and such, sometimes I like to wait until they're settled in a bit and then finish off the odds and ends on their registry - a plate here, a cup there, etc.  Just because it's 30 days after the wedding doesn't make my gift "rude."  It's a GIFT. 

And, thank you notes are always required.

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-late-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2caa591-c2de-4af3-808c-a4c32e90c335Post:6dd2c191-ef7d-4977-b280-8ff00c7155e8">Re: What is the etiquette about late gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]from emily post: Q. How soon should I send a gift? A. Preferably, send the gift to the bride before the wedding or to the couple soon thereafter. In some regions gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. Contrary to a current rumor that you have a year to send a gift, it really should be sent right away or within three months of the wedding.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

This is Emily Post's position, however many others disagree and believe the one year rule. Using your logic, just because Emily Post says it doesn't make it true. See how that works?

marissa_claire

Regardless of when they send it, you should send a thank you.  And remember that for the future - whenever someone ever sends you a gift for any reason, you should send a thank you.