I'm going to preface this by saying that I know there is no etiquette requirement as to your sister being in the wedding party. I also know no one has a right to expect to be included in the wedding party. I acknowledge that people make decisions for a lot of different reasons.
My sister is getting married in November. For some reason she has chosen not to include me in her bridal party. I don't know why-- we are fairly close-- not best friends, but we do talk frequently and have shared a lot of things. She was my bridesmaid when she was about 9. I'm 10 years older than she is, so we do have different lives but I love my sister a lot. I have looked forward to her wedding for a lot of years!
A few weeks ago I logged on to facebook to see her friends oohing and aaahing over the gown she picked out, as well as their bridesmaid dresses. Turns out they all went gown shopping together. I tried to tune it out, but when my mom called, all excited, and asked if I had seen the pictures, I couldn't help it, I said, No, because no one has even thought to send them to me. (They aren't posted on FB, it was just a convo.) Mom was quiet for a minute and then she said she was sorry. I asked why I wasn't invited to come shopping for the dress, and she said that I "wasn't left out intentionally but no one thought about it." I guess that was supposed to make me feel better, that they didn't purposely leave me out but they just didn't think to remember to invite me.
Last week my sister forgot my birthday. She called the next day and apologized and said she had thought about me all day but was just too busy to call... I told her it was ok. She did manage to post not only a status to facebook but also some photos and comment on other people's stuff... But she was too busy to call.
At this point my heart is totally broken. I am annoyed with myself for not telling my sister that my feelings were hurt when she forgot my birthday. I just want to know why her friends are all bridesmaids and not me. But I don't want to say anything because I want her day to be exactly as she has hoped and wished. I know I'm not going to have an answer, and I don't want her to change anything out of feeling obligated, I want her to do what she wants. I just don't know how I'm going to make it through the day without being in tears the whole time. I never thought that I would be left out of the entire process, I had no idea.
I guess this isn't really the best place to post this, since this is kind of a happy place, but I have to get it out somewhere, and I can't really talk to my family without it getting back to my sister. I really don't want her to change anything that she doesn't want to, I just needed to get it off my chest.