Tip event coordinators?

mrszeno34

Hello all.  From reading previous posts, my understanding about tipping is that you would tip the following people -

DJ, hair/makeup artist, flower delivery person, cake delivery person, Limo driver,

and would not tip the officiant, videographer or photographer.  We invited our officiant to the reception so I am kind of thinking of that as her "tip"

Does that sound correct?  I'm also wondering if we are expected to tip our event coordinators - not someone we've hired specificially, but the event coordinators that work at our ceremony location and reception location.  There IS a gratuity built into the price of the reception, but I'm guessing that goes to the service staff and not the event coordinator.

What does everyone think?
Thanks!

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-event-coordinators?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3d74dcc-2fdb-4bd6-82bb-622716278329Post:4b2c0b55-cb07-4660-a912-86935befbc6a">Tip event coordinators?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello all.  From reading previous posts, my understanding about tipping is that you would tip the following people - DJ, hair/makeup artist, flower delivery person, cake delivery person, Limo driver, and would not tip the officiant, videographer or photographer.  We invited our officiant to the reception so I am kind of thinking of that as her "tip" Does that sound correct?  I'm also wondering if we are expected to tip our event coordinators - not someone we've hired specificially, but the event coordinators that work at our ceremony location and reception location.  There IS a gratuity built into the price of the reception, but I'm guessing that goes to the service staff and not the event coordinator. What does everyone think? Thanks!
Posted by mrszeno34[/QUOTE]

I would suggest you tip your officiant. 20% of her fee. Coming to your reception is not a tip, and if it weren't for her, you wouldn't be married! It is an option to send the tip and note of thanks in the mail after the wedding.

You are not obligated to tip the venue event coordinators. I would suggest a personal, handwritten note of thanks after the wedding, though, if they provide good service.

mrszeno34

Hm, I thought i had read somewhere NOT to tip the photo and videographers.  What is the standard tip for these services? 

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-event-coordinators?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3d74dcc-2fdb-4bd6-82bb-622716278329Post:1702c0cb-0160-43e6-9272-122720521a8f">Re: Tip event coordinators?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hm, I thought i had read somewhere NOT to tip the photo and videographers.  What is the standard tip for these services? 
Posted by mrszeno34[/QUOTE]

I didn't tip my wedding photographer before/at the reception. However, it is becoming more customary to do so.

DH plan to send a note of thanks and probably up to $150 cash/gift after we see the completed (and likely wonderful!) images.

mrszeno34

I think what I read states if the photo/videographer does not own their own business, then a tip would be considered customary, but if they do own their own business, they have set the fees and therefore do not expect any additional payment.  Both my videographer and photographers own their businesses, so I think that's where I got that information from.

Ali092011

I tipped my photographers and videographer 20%. I would do that, or $50-$200 each. I believe that is the norm.

I actually did not tip my officiant because she was just someone I found through Google, and she set her own fee. We did not meet with her prior to the ceremony, just exchanged a couple of phone calls and e-mails. I also did not invite her to the reception, and I don't think she expected to be invited, and she would have declined anyway. However, if you know your officiant personally (like if it's a friend or family member, or the minister of your church), it's customary to extend the invitation.

You don't HAVE to tip anyone who is the owner of their business/company, but if you are pleased with their services it is perfectly welcome to tip.

As for the event coordinators, you can check with your venue to see how the gratuity is distributed, but you may also tip any individuals you want to.

s-aries8990

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-event-coordinators?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3d74dcc-2fdb-4bd6-82bb-622716278329Post:772ccf5b-6889-4a88-970c-8ab7151e912f">Re: Tip event coordinators?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think what I read states if the photo/videographer does not own their own business, then a tip would be considered customary, but if they do own their own business, they have set the fees and therefore do not expect any additional payment.  Both my videographer and photographers own their businesses, so I think that's where I got that information from.
Posted by mrszeno34[/QUOTE]

Luckily, tipping doens't have to be immediate. If you see the photos/video and feel as though the service was awesome, don't feel as though you can't tip them. Tipping is always appreciated, but never actually required. Same thing with the DOC; if you feel as though she was a rockstar, feel free to tip, if you so desire, if you feel that she was just satisfactory, simply write a good review. I don't think she is expecting a tip.

OliveOilsMom

My photog owned her own business.  On the day of the wedding, I tipped the 2nd shooter and the assistant.  We "tippped" our photog by ordering an album from her.  We chose a package that did not include an album, had we chosen a package with an album, we probably would have tipped her after the wedding, when the pictures came in.  We would have written a note and a check.

Ali092011

I agree with Stage. And I don't know where most of these "rules" regarding tipping come from. I think it's weird that some people think they should tip the DJ but not the photographer. What's the difference? Especially since, like Stage said, your photos/video are really the only things you'll have left when it's all over.

I think you should tip when customary and also for extraordinary service. I'm not saying anyone should ever really expect a tip, but I know that at my part-time restaurant job, tips really do matter. I enjoy giving good service and going above and beyond for people, and it's nice to receive recognition for that.

I just prefer to err on the side of tipping and/or overtipping when called for, because it's just the nice thing to do.

mrszeno34

I'm definiltely not trying to "get out" of tipping anyone!  I was just wondering what was normal and customary, and based on what I'd read previously, video and photo normally did not expect to be tipped - not that of course you couldn't tip them if you wanted, or that if say - the limo service is terrible that you HAVE to tip them.  I was just wondering in general was the consensus was.  I do like the idea of sending a thank you card and including a tip at a later date, that takes a little of the pressure off of handling 20 different "tip" envelopes that day.  Thanks for all the helpful input.

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-event-coordinators?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3d74dcc-2fdb-4bd6-82bb-622716278329Post:2d6ec84d-8e99-4f60-9dfd-1092e6d45f81">Re:Tip event coordinators?</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, I would tip the photog and videog, and I would do some sort of gift card with a thank you note for the officiant. The reception really isn't her "tip"<strong> since it's usually considered rude NOT to invite the officiant to the reception</strong>, though many will decline if they don't know you personally. ETA: I would not tip the event coordinator though.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

We are not inviting our officiant to the reception.  He is a paid vendor though.....someone we hired to perform the ceremony, not a priest. 

pink34562000

Our wedding coordinator and photographers owned their own businesses. Since all of them went above and beyond, I gave them gift cards to their favorite places.

Peledreamsofrain

This is a very helpful thread for information! I had no idea that it was customary to tip the officiant. Is it different if you had a priest? I feel that would be awkward. Kind of "Good job buddy. Oh, and put a good word in for me woulda?"

Jessie42613

Our photographer, DJ, H/MU people, DOC and florist all own their own businesses, and they are all getting tips (assuming they are all rockstars, and I believe they all will be).

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-event-coordinators?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3d74dcc-2fdb-4bd6-82bb-622716278329Post:30379c74-e5b9-4b94-80e2-146d994a6954">Re:Tip event coordinators?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Tip event coordinators?: Interesting. I've never ever heard of not inviting the officiant, and DH has been invited to the reception for every wedding he's performed that had a reception.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

We're paying him quite a bit of money for his services, why would we pay for him to stay for dinner?  We're also having a string group play at our ceremony and cocktail hour.....should we be inviting all 3 of them too? 

I've heard of inviting the officiant, but most often heard it's when it's in the role of your parish priest.  In that case, it's often someone you know and see on a (somewhat) regular basis.  Now, if we personally knew the officiant or he was doing our ceremony for free or even a discount, we'd gladly invite him to the reception. :)

Tabbie11

The gratuity built into your package is for the service staff and not the coordinator.
Its not needed, but I am tipping my event coordinator. She has been amazing and is setting up my centerpieces, escort cards and everything, which is a huge weight off my shoulders since a lot of venues you have to do it yourself. So I guess it depends on your coordinator and how much they do for you!

bridalmarch

Our photographer owns her own business and works with her husband. We're definitely tipping her - from our first meeting to our e pics to emailing me to make sure we were all ok after she saw on a FB status that my daughter went to the ER, she has been an absolute dream. I'm going to write her a glowing testimonial for her website, too. 

We aren't sure about the video. We got the most basic package available - basically just a guy and a camera. No edits, no fancy shot work. My FI works in advertising, but he's made some money on the side editing video. He's doing all of the editing of the rough video, so he's technically doing all of the work. They've been good about responding quickly to emails and were very friendly when I called, so I may tip a bit based on their customer service alone. 

JoanE2012

In Response to Re:Tip event coordinators?:
[QUOTE]Because he is the single most important role in the wedding? Like I said, I had simply never heard of not inviting the officiant before. DH has been invited to every single reception, including one 3 months after the wedding, which took place in our friend's living room, from the couple he'd only met twice. We always decline if we don't know the couple personally, but I've never heard of them not being invited unless it's a JoP done AT the courthouse. They're always invited to the reception and the RD, even as vendors, in my area and circles.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Totally agree!  That's why we're paying him quite a bit of money!  

32daisies

What I think is interesting is how we all define who had the most important role in making our wedding happen, or whose services are the most valuable... for some people it's the photographer, but others have said the officiant. And so on. Every experience is different.

When the time comes, we wouldn't dream of not tipping the event coordinator. He's been an absolute dream. I don't care if he gets tipped out of the venue's automatic gratuity; we want to thank him specifically. Personally, I think that gets forgotten with all the "rules" about tipping. You should keep in mind who you *want* to thank, too.

DramaGeek

I hate our societal expectations around tipping.  I think of it like this - did the person do a good job?  Do you think they deserve a little extra as a thank you?  Then tip them.  Who cares if they own their own business or how much they charged in the first place.

Every single one of our vendors owned their own business and we tipped them all.  Our photographers were amazing and stayed later than they were contracted for. Our DJ did exactly what we were looking for - nothing cheesy, kept the music pumpin, kept people on the dance floor - so we tipped him.  Our caterers were fantastic and the food was amazing.  Our officiant spent so much time with us pre-wedding and charged us nothing.  The list goes on and on.

And I'm in the "officiant is the single most important person to a wedding" camp.  You can still get married if you don't have a photographer or if the photographer does a crappy job.  No officiant?  No marriage.

32daisies

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-event-coordinators?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3d74dcc-2fdb-4bd6-82bb-622716278329Post:c4273e9c-9b38-4665-868e-ea2e3cf1268c">Re: Tip event coordinators?</a>:
[QUOTE]And I'm in the "officiant is the single most important person to a wedding" camp.  You can still get married if you don't have a photographer or if the photographer does a crappy job.  No officiant?  No marriage.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

Well, of course. But tipping should be a thank you for a service well done, not just what society expects, kind of like you said. Sometimes, the officiant does a spectacular job. Sometimes they don't. Which is it? That should matter, imho.

A friend of mine got married a few years ago, and had made arrangements with a local judge to perform the ceremony. He showed up late, and his demeanor was icy and impersonal, contrary to earlier meetings. Who knows what was going on with the guy that day, and honestly, the bride was so happy to be getting married she didn't let it bug her, but later she admitted he'd put a damper on her ceremony. He *did* pronounce them married, so, job done, but should they have tipped him, in addition to his fee? (I have no idea if they did or not.) Because I would not have.

DramaGeek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-event-coordinators?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3d74dcc-2fdb-4bd6-82bb-622716278329Post:71e70fd9-9454-4e0c-9d51-989dfc9251e7">Re: Tip event coordinators?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tip event coordinators? : Well, of course. But tipping should be a thank you for a service well done, not just what society expects, kind of like you said. Sometimes, the officiant does a spectacular job. Sometimes they don't. Which is it? That should matter, imho. A friend of mine got married a few years ago, and had made arrangements with a local judge to perform the ceremony. He showed up late, and his demeanor was icy and impersonal, contrary to earlier meetings. Who knows what was going on with the guy that day, and honestly, the bride was so happy to be getting married she didn't let it bug her, but later she admitted he'd put a damper on her ceremony. He *did* pronounce them married, so, job done, but should they have tipped him, in addition to his fee? (I have no idea if they did or not.) Because I would not have.
Posted by 32daisies[/QUOTE]



I agree, it should be about it being a job well done. I definitely do not agree with tipping if the service was subpar. However, the comment was made earlier that it's interesting that some people see the officiant as the most important, while others say it's the photographer or caterer or what have you. I was simply weighing in on that debate, which is a separate thing from tipping.