Do you have a friend that constantly lies?

ricksang

I have one like this and the lies are totally unbelievable. They aren't lies that would hurt anyone, they just make me roll my eyes. I want to ask her if she thinks I am fucking stupid or what, but we have never had a fight and I don't want to cause drama, so I let it slide.

ricksang

See, I am debating my friendship status with her right now. Why lie?

ricksang

Hmmmmm this friend seems to have a nice life but it coul be a hot mess for all I know. I am jus tired of pretending to be in the dark about all her lies.

[Deleted User]

I used to work with a girl like this. She was a one upper and a total liar. It was infuriating. By the end, I couldn't find it in my heart to be remotely nice to her.

danieliza1127

My SIL is a compulsive liar, but she's married to my brother so there's not a lot any of us can do about it.  My mom and I have caught her in so many lies, but after so many years and problems and drama, we've both decided it's just not worth causing more drama.  So we just roll our eyes and talk about it to each other and try to love her anyway.  I guess it's easier when it's family.  If it were a friend, I don't think I could deal with that at all.

ExpatPumpkin

I had a guy friend like that once.  Pure, pathological, shameless liar.  

Example:  We're in SOMEONE ELSE'S car, and a mutual friend compliments him on it.  He says thanks and proceeds to talk about how he picked it out.  And he said the cool sunglasses he was wearing - that he'd found in the glovebox of said car - were his too. 

I was dumbfounded.  I mean, I'm RIGHT THERE and I know the car and glasses aren't his.  What an idiot.  

There were a few other instances too.  It was a short-lived friendship and I don't even know where he is now.

[Deleted User]

What does she lie about?

ricksang

Yes! She is a on upper also and the thing is, she tries to one up me in the thing I am going to school for a lot! It is getting to where everytime she is in town I ignore her phone call because the last time we went to lunch I left pretty mad. Of couse she did not know I was mad, but I was pissed.

ricksang

OMG Cew

Some examples- She was in the gulf war (the first one). She was stationed there and a sergeant tried to rape her so she killed him with her bare hands (broke his neck) and got a discharged.

She was on the beach and an/a? assailant tried to rape or rob her (i forget which one) and she fought him off and she got away but he shot her in the hand. She has no scar on either hand.

She used to manage both a male and female strip club and she beat everyones' ass basically.

She said she is going to school for her PhD, yet she doesn't even have a real Bach or masters degree. She is also going to my school and I asked her the start date. She told me the wrong date.

ricksang

I don't see how she can be jealous unless she is jealous of me going to school.

[Deleted User]

I will never understand people who do this. I'm  not sure what compels them to lie, but I think it either comes down to the thrill of making up crazy stories and getting people to believe them or unhappiness in their real life and feeling the need to create an alternate reality. These kinds of people scare the shiit out of me because I actually think that they believe some of their own lies.

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-constantly-lies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d47adb99-7648-4d36-b7f5-3474f6a72517Post:331623c5-e535-48a2-911e-ca918b1d60b1">Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, those lies are quite unbelievable actually. I was going "Yeah riiiight." She has issues. Self-esteem issues maybe? I don't get why she lies about beating people's arses though. For what? So she'll look badas$? She wants to appear intimidating?
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]

IDK because I am nonthreating in everyway so I don't understand why she feels the need to say things like this. On time I was saying that I was so mad at my sister that I wanted to hit her. She said "I wish you would get mad around me". It was like she wanted to show me how tough she was.
 
Ummm I am 5 ft tall and 105 pounds and I don't physicallyfight, lady, I think you can take me, no worries.

apple_green

OMG that is my cousin!! She totally does this. I think it stems from self esteem and a weird/inadequate upbringing. Totally pisses me off. I had another friend that did it in high school, and she's no longer a friend.

ggmae

I had a friend who lied a lot and we no longer speak either, as of 2 years ago. I decided that I didn't need that (among other things that she did) in my life and I've felt great ever since.

MCarmine

I have a guy friend like that. He tell's these ridiculous stories to make him look cool but they really make him look like more of a douche.

He lies about his age. He's NOT 32....he's 40. He claims his license says he's 40 because a friend who worked at the DMV changed his birth date so he could drink underage.

He claimed he was BEST friends with this guy in a popular band. He was going on and on about how they hang out all the time and booze, ect ect. Well, that guy was a business partner of mine. He had never heard of him.

JessAndTrav

I do. She's a good friend of mine, but I always catch her lying about RETARDED stuff. Drives me crazy. I just deal with it.

SwedishChick2011

I might put up with that shiit for a while, but sooner or later I'd have to call her out on it.  I just wouldn't be able to stand it anymore.  Of course it's possible she has a real psychological problem, but I'd still say something because in that case she should be getting some help.

alixzafiris

Yep. And life is a big competition to her also, which makes her completely toxic. I defriended her from FB this week. I'd absolutely had enough.

ricksang

Hmmm, I hate hurting feelings, but I might have to.

sucrets4

I know someone like this, but she's a former co worker and I can't stand her, mainly for that reason.

Of course, I had to invite her to the wedding since I invited everyone else, and all I see and hear on the video is her horse face and stupid laugh.

She would lie about the most ridiculous things - most recently, she lied to a friend of mine about sending something to her.  The mail from building to bulding takes at MOST one day, and she said she sent it on a Wednesday, and the next week my friend still hadn't received it. 

She does shiit like this ALL the time.

Oh, and she has epstein barr and chronic fatigue and sometimes just passes out in the car and her H has to carry her in to their house.  Never mind the fact that she doesn't take care of herself and is sick ALL the time because she never learned to balance things.

God, I hate her.  I really do.  Sorry for my vent.

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-constantly-lies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d47adb99-7648-4d36-b7f5-3474f6a72517Post:f7274384-dab3-4817-8fc5-726e0e3780e5">Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yep. And life is a big competition to her also, which makes her completely toxic. I defriended her from FB this week. I'd absolutely had enough.
Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

My friend is like this. I just let her do her thing, because she is a good friend. She's a good listener and gives me good feedback, but she just lies about ridiculous stuff, and I really do feel like she's trying to compete with me for things in life. I don't feel that I have anything to really be jealous of, but I think that she's just jealous of the way that my life has gone.

Crappy home life to first graduate in the family of both high school and college, to taking my time to get married to working hard to live in a nice apartment with nice things---all things that are somewhat opposite of her.

Hard home life, but loving parents. HS graduate, dropped out of college, married her DH within months of starting to date, living with his mother right after the wedding, moving into a bad apartment, and they're just now getting on their feet.

I don't view myself as being any better than her for my choices, because I made those for myself, based on what I thought was best for me, just like she thinks her choices are best for her. I just don't see why she feels the need to try to 1UP me all the time.

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-constantly-lies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d47adb99-7648-4d36-b7f5-3474f6a72517Post:56d21c96-a443-4674-99ef-6e482723efce">Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies?</a>:
[QUOTE]I know someone like this, but she's a former co worker and I can't stand her, mainly for that reason. Of <strong>course, I had to invite her to the wedding since I invited everyone else, and all I see and hear on the video is her horse face and stupid laugh</strong>. She would lie about the most ridiculous things - most recently, she lied to a friend of mine about sending something to her.  The mail from building to bulding takes at MOST one day, and she said she sent it on a Wednesday, and the next week my friend still hadn't received it.  She does shiit like this ALL the time. Oh, and she has epstein barr and chronic fatigue and sometimes just passes out in the car and her H has to carry her in to their house.  Never mind the fact that she doesn't take care of herself and is sick ALL the time because she never learned to balance things. God, I hate her.  I really do.  Sorry for my vent.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

 LOL!

beatlesgirl25

Ugh, sorry you have to deal with a liar friend, ricks. And everyone else for that matter. Why does everyone know someone like this? Ricks, it sounds like your friend is so wrapped up in her grandiose, fantastical version of herself that she can't even break away from it in the presence of a friend. She's probably scared to. In my experience with liar friends, it's based on low self-esteem, not being validated enough as a kid, and basically not being comfortable with who you really are (or running away from it).

My BFF in HS was like this. She had a pretty crappy life: her single mom was always out drunk, leaving her with 5 young siblings to raise by herself in their trailer. She had the craziest stories of things that happened to her (some good, some bad), like the stuff movies are made of. But I knew she was lying because she was always home with those kids, every day, when she wasn't at school. It was sad to call her out on that stuff, so we never did. She's mellowed out somewhat as an adult, but I never call her on her old lies because I'm afraid she'll forget she said that stuff and will be embarrassed.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-constantly-lies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d47adb99-7648-4d36-b7f5-3474f6a72517Post:d94af892-5949-4247-9161-8b13b1161705">Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies? :  LOL!
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

ang, if she wasn't so awful I might feel bad, but I don't.  And she does have a horse face.

Oh, and she's also have 5 miscarriages.  Now, I'm sure that's possible, but at some point in time, wouldn't you look into medical care to find out what's going on?

I really like her husband, though, and that sucks.  I feel so bad that he married her and sometimes I wanted to say "WTF?!?? why did you DO that???" to him, but of course I couldn't.

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-constantly-lies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d47adb99-7648-4d36-b7f5-3474f6a72517Post:6f27cdd2-89ce-4af2-9665-4325531e7ab2">Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh, sorry you have to deal with a liar friend, ricks. And everyone else for that matter. Why does everyone know someone like this? Ricks, it sounds like your friend is so wrapped up in her grandiose, fantastical version of herself that she can't even break away from it in the presence of a friend. She's probably scared to. In my experience with liar friends, it's based on low self-esteem, not being validated enough as a kid, and basically not being comfortable with who you really are (or running away from it). My BFF in HS was like this. She had a pretty crappy life: her single mom was always out drunk, leaving her with 5 young siblings to raise by herself in their trailer. She had the craziest stories of things that happened to her (some good, some bad), like the stuff movies are made of. But I knew she was lying because she was always home with those kids, every day, when she wasn't at school. It was sad to call her out on that stuff, so we never did. She's mellowed out somewhat as an adult, but I never call her on her old lies because I'm afraid she'll forget she said that stuff and will be embarrassed.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I don't want to embarrass her. That is my main concern. But she is doing it to herself anyways.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-constantly-lies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d47adb99-7648-4d36-b7f5-3474f6a72517Post:d63677f9-dd1e-4bb2-907f-696c9fb430a3">Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies? : ang, if she wasn't so awful I might feel bad, but I don't.  And she does have a horse face. <strong>Oh, and she's also have 5 miscarriages.</strong>  Now, I'm sure that's possible, but at some point in time, wouldn't you look into medical care to find out what's going on? I really like her husband, though, and that sucks.  I feel so bad that he married her and sometimes I wanted to say "WTF?!?? why did you DO that???" to him, but of course I couldn't.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Ooh, this bugs me. A lot. I've known several girls who have lied about being pregnant and miscarrying, for attention I guess. It's pretty sick, right up there with lying about having cancer.

jasmineh7777

I had a friend that lied constantly. She would make up ridiculous lies about me when we were in school, to the point where she had people thinking that my bf was beating me. She also faked several pregnancies.
She once went to visit a guy I was dating at his work in her lingerie. She also tried point blank to sleep with every guy I dated.
Last I heard, she lives on the beach in a tent.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-constantly-lies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d47adb99-7648-4d36-b7f5-3474f6a72517Post:7606150e-54d5-405c-bc3e-0b2ae8ec4ea2">Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you have a friend that constantly lies? : Yeah, I don't want to embarrass her. That is my main concern. But she is doing it to herself anyways.
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

And this is why you can't really be a good friend to her, because you have to keep that weird distance so you don't shame her. I wonder if she gets that she's doing this to her relationships.

ricksang

I don't know if she does or not, but I am sure she alienates a lot of people.

KentuckyKate

Unfortunately I know several people like this.

I'll start with Brittany, a friend of a friend and the most BSC one of all.

She told her boyfriend when he was trying to break up with her, that without his knowledge, she was pregnant, had the baby, and gave it up for adoption to a family that lives in her neighborhood.  This girl is and always has been about a size 2.  There is no freaking way, especially given how much of an AW she is.  Then they went out to dinner with an entire group of friends, including boyfriend, pointed to a table near them who had a one year old, and said, OMG, that's the baby!  That's our baby.  Also, at one point she had brain cancer, and carried around a Rx bottle and said it was her brain cancer pills.

Next comes Jared, a former CW who was a compulsive liar and a one-upper. 

At one point I said I've been to 8 countries.  He said the last time he counted he had been to 60 countries.  He told me he was going to Australia for 5 weeks to visit his girlfriend.  I saw him at Target.  He told me he was going to the Olympics and the Super Bowl.  My friend saw him at the bar on Super Bowl Sunday and I said something in front of his roommate about the Olympics and his roommate had no idea what I was talking about.  I mentioned that my brother was in Annapolis attending the Naval Academy.  He said he went to the Naval Academy.  FYI: If you graduate from the USNA you are an Officer.  This was a CW at a seafood restaurant.  Also, at a party one time he told everyone he uses duct tape everyday to tape his junk to his leg so no one could see his moose knuckle.

Then there is Todd.  Another former CW in my office now.  Somehow it was relevant to a conversation and I told a story about how my HS bf had his car stolen out of his driveway.  It was found later that day in a field a town away, and it had been completely stripped down, no wheels, no engine, and even the lightbulbs were unscrewed from the ceiling of the car, etc.  Then he went out for a smoke and there were 5 people out there, including myself, and he proceded to tell the exact same story, to the minute detail, about HIS car.  A few months after that, an Australian woman got hired.  Todd asked the training manager where she was from.  He told Todd she was from Perth, Australia.  Todd said, "where is that, I've never heard of it".  The training manager shows him on a map.  Ten minutes later Todd says he and his FI were going to Perth, Australia for their honeymoon.

Also, Elizabeth, Chris, Katie, and Josh come to mind, but their stories aren't as entertaining.  But yeah.  More bullshitartists.

ricksang

Wow Kate, those are doozies!