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Vow renewal question

my1andonlymy1andonly member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My best friend is renewing her vows in a few months. Her first wedding was not what she wanted and they had always planned to do an actual wedding with friends and family. She has asked me to stand next to her. I know that it is tacky to throw her a bridal shower, but I would like to do something for her with her friends. I do not want to call this a bridal shower and do not want people to bring gifts. I had thought of throwing her a lucheon so that she can have a special moment with people who love her. Does anyone have any suggestions on what would be appropriate?
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Re: Vow renewal question

  • my1andonlymy1andonly member
    First Comment
    I undderstand that vow renewals dont usually have attendants but she did not have a bridesmaid the first time around and this is something i would like to do for her
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited February 2013

    CMGr is totally right about this. 
    We didn't have attendants at our wedding - just walked down there and got married.  And we have no need to re-enact this WITH attendants.  We are already married.

    Of course, there's nothing wrong with getting a handful of her friends together to go our one night, or go to the movies together, or go to a club, or have a cookout, or whatever.  But it's not a shower.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vow-renewal-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4b72fbb-8d83-47e9-b156-332e5d214eb5Post:c8bded14-4a27-474f-9fb2-3bdb68ebd404">Re: Vow renewal question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Of course, there's nothing wrong with getting a handful of her friends together to go our one night, or go to the movies together, or go to a club, or have a cookout, or whatever.  But it's not a shower.
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]



    This. Just get together and have a good time like you would any other time with close friends.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • allychaseallychase member
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    How long has she been married?
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  • my1andonlymy1andonly member
    First Comment
    As i wrote in my original post I was not looking to throw her a shower with gifts and games and a ton of people just a small get together with closest friends. We know attendants are not normally a part of a renewal and that is a choice she has made. I was just asking if there were any suggestion as to what would be approriate for a get together.
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  • my1andonlymy1andonly member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vow-renewal-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4b72fbb-8d83-47e9-b156-332e5d214eb5Post:dabe5da0-029a-4ee2-8972-bf0a7d187541">Re:Vow renewal question</a>:
    [QUOTE]How long has she been married?
    Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

    she has been married for 20 years
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vow-renewal-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4b72fbb-8d83-47e9-b156-332e5d214eb5Post:96445daf-1b6d-4bc4-9154-55e2545c18fc">Re: Vow renewal question</a>:
    [QUOTE]As i wrote in my original post I was not looking to throw her a shower with gifts and games and a ton of people just a small get together with closest friends. We know attendants are not normally a part of a renewal and that is a choice she has made. I was just asking if there were any suggestion as to what would be approriate for a get together.
    Posted by my1andonly[/QUOTE]

    You can hold a get-together.  Just don't make it "wedding" related.  That boat has sailed.  With a "vow renewal," there are no extra get-togethers.  The vow renewal itself is a get-together.
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  • MrsH86MrsH86 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    I'm not traditional, usually, so here on some other ideas for you:

    you could have a luncheon with friends like you suggested and just have it in her 'honor'.. 

    you could throw them an 'anniversary' party or lunch to celebrate the years that they have spent together since they got married..

    Would it be possible to have this get together and the vow renewal at one time? Like could you help throw her a little 'recpeption' of sorts after they renew their vows? 

    Or if you want something more simple, have a girls day and get your nails done and have 'brunch' (unless you are wanting men & women there)

    Just brainstorming...


    ~Happy Wife.... Happy Life~
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