Wedding Etiquette Forum

Serenity Now! (LONG)

I just have to vent for a second, and I know you ladies will understand.

First, the other day I get a bridal shower invitation for the fiancee of a guy I used to work with 6 months ago (he was a temp and has since left the company). When he still worked here, he said he was going to invite all of us from work to the wedding because he has to meet the minimum for their venue and their families are super small. None of us at work talk to him anymore now that he has left the company and we didn't really care for him much when we worked with him and I have not once ever met his fiancee. I was totally confused when I got the invite and actually had to think for awhile about who the heck the person was that the invite was for. I'm just annoyed because it seems totally gift grabby since I've never even met her but I'm supposed to buy her a gift and go to her shower? Is it totally rude if I decline and don't send a gift?

Second, I got an invite for the bachelorette party of the fiancee of a good friend of my FH. The invite was from the bride herself, had 2 dates on it because she wasnt' sure which date was better for her and she wants us to keep both free for now.

WTH is wrong with some people?? Maybe I'm just tired and grouchy but I want to direct these people to this board so they can get their head screwed on straight! Sorry, thanks for letting me vent.

Re: Serenity Now! (LONG)

  • Invites are not summonses. It's not rude to decline any of it.

    And WTF about keeping two dates open?
  • Wow, both of those things are pretty bad!

    First - decline the shower invitation and don't send a gift.  That's pretty ridiculous that you were invited in the first place.

    Second - the bachelorette party chick, I don't even know what to tell you to do on that one!
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  • Thanks gals! I am definitely declining the shower and would love to decline the bachelorette party as well but I kind of have to go I think.
  • LOL oh boy. I'm glad I'm not the only one who deals with random idiots every day.

    First - for the shower invite - I agree with PPs. There's nothing wrong with declining.

    Second - for the bachelorette chick - maybe write her back and propose a few more dates that are more convenient for you, and see what happens? :)
  • Oh that's good, I like that idea of suggesting additional dates. This girl is BSC anyway, bought 2 dresses for the wedding but made her sister pay for one because she knew her FH would freak, planned her own shower, is demanding we all drive to where ever her bach party is and then drive home, you name it she's done it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_serenity-now-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4e88371-1a0b-47a1-80ac-029845bbb185Post:37f0e92e-c2ab-47dc-b5e5-cc8d5454d9a6">Re: Serenity Now! (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh that's good, I like that idea of suggesting additional dates. This girl is BSC anyway, bought 2 dresses for the wedding but made her sister pay for one because she knew her FH would freak, planned her own shower, is demanding we all drive to where ever her bach party is and then drive home, you name it she's done it.
    Posted by Pink7781[/QUOTE]

    And why is it that you "have" to go to this one? I get that she's marrying your FI's friend, but couldn't you just be conveniently busy both days?
  • I guess I don't have to go but she's the type of person who will totally freak out if not everyone accomodates her. I may just say I don't have the money to go....
  • Yeah... on second thought I'd suggest trying to find yourself a way to get out of it. Now that you know her two dates, you can work on planning something that will make you too busy on both of those dates. LOL! Unless you really want to go... but based on what you're saying it sounds like you don't. I would want to patronize anyone like that any more than I have to.
  • Right now I'm leaning towards washing my hair on the first day and cleaning out my sock drawer on the second. :)
  • The two dates for the bach party reminds of my (ex) friend's wedding. She had two dates for her wedding... in case it rained.
  • I'm SORT OF giving the first girl the benefit of the doubt because she might think that all women invited to the wedding have to be invited to the shower.

    The second one seems BSC.
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  • For the first situation, it just sounds like those people are fishing for gifts....very rude and lame.  I would defnitely decline without feeling any regrets whatsoever.

    The second situation is odd, and the girl just needs to make up her damn mind...and why is it from her?

    People are strange. Period.

  • Msmery, I can kind of see your point for the shower, my mom insisted on inviting all the women who were invited to the wedding to the shower, but I at least knew every person there!

    Girl #2 just really is BSC, that's really the only explanation.
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