Invitation faux pas?

LavenderBride

I am getting married next Saturday, 4/23 and I have about 10 people who previously RSVP'd but have cancelled in the last week.

Is it a major faux pas to invite co-workers, now that I have room for them all to attend? At this point I only invited my direct supervisor, but I have co-workers who I would love to see there.

Thanks!

Irishcurls

The only way it's not tacky (sort of) is if you have already turned in your final numbers to the caterer and would lose out on that money. 

mica178

I think it would be an etiquette faux pas to invite those co-workers, because they would clearly know that they are B-listers since your wedding is in 1.5 weeks. 

barbie92

What Mica said.

PsyDet 2155

Yeah, I think it's tacky to add people last minute.  I would probably be offended and decline the invite.

LavenderBride

Irishcurls,

I have already given the caterer the final number, so I would end up paying for 10 dinners that no one will eat. I've already accounted for the DJ's, Videographer, and photographer's meal and still have the 10 left over.

LisaChris2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-faux-pas-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4f0a769-0aca-4796-8680-37bf5c2b2985Post:4f6a4d89-f9c6-46e1-a3a0-26cca26a9296">Re: Invitation faux pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]The only way it's not tacky (sort of) is if you have already turned in your final numbers to the caterer and would lose out on that money. 
Posted by Irishcurls[/QUOTE]

I don't get how this wouldn't be tacky.  Turning in final numbers has nothing to do with etiquette faux paus and making people feel like B-list invitees.

ajroark

I just wonder how the co-workers would feel knowing that they weren't good enough for the original list...

Ghoti

It's totally tacky, but on the other hand, I'd be down for going. Maybe if you're upfront with them," Hey, our guest list was limited but some space was created and I'd love if you could make it" kinda thing. It's still B-listing, but I personally wouldn't be offended.

kristeno90

Like PP said, be honest with them and let them decide if they want to go or not.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-faux-pas-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4f0a769-0aca-4796-8680-37bf5c2b2985Post:cfda06d4-f06a-4f3b-8a69-d2edcad3e345">Re: Invitation faux pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's totally tacky, but on the other hand, I'd be down for going. Maybe if you're upfront with them," Hey, our guest list was limited but some space was created and I'd love if you could make it" kinda thing. It's still B-listing, but I personally wouldn't be offended.
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

this

tesskerr

Yes it is b-listing, but if I was being invited to a co-workers wedding, because they now have space, I wouldn't care at all. It may be a little different if it was friends or something, because they would feel like b-list friends. Personally, I think in your case it is ok, because the co-workers will know they are b-list.

I would just say "hey, we have had a few people who have had to cancel, and I would love for you to be there!" just be honest.

However, if you can't invite all your co-workers, I would leave it. Don't invite half as b-listers, and the other half will feel extra not good enough, if you know what I mean.

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-faux-pas-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4f0a769-0aca-4796-8680-37bf5c2b2985Post:d004cd7a-a64e-4114-b825-6e498f39f316">Re: Invitation faux pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it would be an etiquette faux pas to invite those co-workers, because they would clearly know that they are B-listers since your wedding is in 1.5 weeks. 
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

lizzi97

Once, FI received a mass email from one his co-workers explaining that a bunch of family had declined and so now he had room to fit in people from work. He prefaced the whole thing with, "I know this is the worst etiquette faux pas ever but...". I thought it was pretty offensive, but the guy was pretty ridiculous, so I rolled with it. A few people chose to go, and we would have too, except we had a conflict. This would fly with everyone, so you need to know your crowd, and let them know the whole situation ("We would have like to invite you but we were obligated to invite all these distant relatives and then didn't have room" or whatever the case is).

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-faux-pas-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4f0a769-0aca-4796-8680-37bf5c2b2985Post:bae68108-d31b-4809-88dd-e363a22b967c">Re: Invitation faux pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just wonder how the co-workers would feel knowing that they weren't good enough for the original list...
Posted by ajroark[/QUOTE]

<div>It's no secret they didn't make the original list.  </div><div>
</div><div>The wedding is in a week and a half or something.  I agree with the posters that said to be up front with them about having the space to invite them if you want them to come.  If you just don't want to pay for empty places and they've been asking to come, I'm not sure if I'd invite them.  </div>

Irishcurls

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-faux-pas-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4f0a769-0aca-4796-8680-37bf5c2b2985Post:cfda06d4-f06a-4f3b-8a69-d2edcad3e345">Re: Invitation faux pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's totally tacky, but on the other hand, I'd be down for going. Maybe if you're upfront with them," Hey, our guest list was limited but some space was created and I'd love if you could make it" kinda thing. It's still B-listing, but I personally wouldn't be offended.
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]
Yeah. This is what I mean by sort of not tacky. If they are aware of the situation then.....eh. It's tacky but 10 people is a lot to lose out on, IMO. 

hlq2011

I'm not inviting any of my coworkers, because there are just too many.  But the couple I'm closest to actually said to me that if we end up under our minimums, they'll be happy to come.  I believe one said "We can always get a sitter at the last minute."

You know your crowd better than we do.  We can't tell you if they'll get it, or be offended.  Mine aren't.  I wouldn't be, and it sounds like a bunch of PPs would understand too.  But we can't tell you how they'll react.

sklink0486

I agree with some of the other posters. I would probably go. It may not be proper etiquette, but I think a lot of times co-workers know they are not high on guest lists (unless it is a close friend also), but only you know if they might be offended. 

murderbot

It depends on your relationship with your co-workers.  If you know they're the kind of people who wouldn't be offended by it, then for sure, do it.  I'd just be sure people who get left out don't get mad and cause office drama.  The problem with inviting co-workers is it's usually impossible to include everyone and the ones not invited can be offended or hurt.