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Bridal Shower for Destination Wedding

Hi ,

 My sister-in-law is getting married in June on a destination wedding.  This is her first marriage and her hubby-to-be's second.  What is the ettiqutte rules for throwing her a shower before they go away?  She feels that she shouldn't be able to have any of these privelages cause she is going away for her wedding, however there are many people in her life that won't be attending.  I know she is sad about missing all the traditional events that go on with a wedding and I would really like to do this for her.

Re: Bridal Shower for Destination Wedding

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    The only rule is that anyone invited to the wedding can be invited to pre-wedding parties.  Are they going off to elope by themselves?  Then they would not get a shower or b-party.  If they are having a smaller, intimate wedding, then the women from that group can be invited to attend a shower for the bride.
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    I had a DW and a shower/stagette thrown for me by my lovely MOH.  As long as everyone is invited to the shower is invited to the wedding, it's fine.  I knew several of my friends and family couldn't make the wedding (ex. my Granny is 92.  She told us to go to Hawaii anyway and not change it for her) and it was a nice way to still have them help celebrate.  

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    Can I latch on to this question?

    Is your SIL doing an "at home reception" (party) when she gets back for those who couldn't come to the DW?

    I'm doing a small-ish DW and a party at home for the extended family and everyone who won't make it out to Montana. My mom and sister are already talking about a shower. Can they invite people to the shower who aren't invited to the DW itself, but are invited to the AHR?

    But otherwise, she can definitely have a shower (if you or someone else hosts it) with those who are invited to the DW - regardless of whether or not they attend.
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    beard - usually people invited to the AHR are also invited to the wedding itself.  So anyone who cannot afford to go on the DW, can attend the AHR. 

    If you are having a private destination wedding, you can have a party after you return, but it would more be a celebration of your marriage and should not include typical reception things like the big dress, BMs or GMs, first dance, flower toss, etc. 

    I feel that anyone who is invited to the ceremony, whether they can attend or not, should also be invited to any showers.
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    I did not want a shower either, because I did not want people to shell out for both a DW and a shower gift, or feel like I just wanted gifts from the people who can't afford to come. However, my aunts (who won't be able to come) insisted on throwing us something since they would not be able to celebrate with us. It ended up being a sort of engagement party/recipe shower, where everyone was invited to share a favorite recipe. It ended up being much more meaningful for us. 

    I think as long as you follow the basic etiquette rules that always apply (ie- only invite people invited to the wedding) it would be a lovely and generous thing to do for your SIL. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4fff48a-616a-4979-8991-6b520825522aPost:25351a4c-650a-49cb-854e-afc79ea5ada8">Re: Bridal Shower for Destination Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]beard - usually people invited to the AHR are also invited to the wedding itself.  So anyone who cannot afford to go on the DW, can attend the AHR.  If you are having a private destination wedding, you can have a party after you return, but it would more be a celebration of your marriage and should not include typical reception things like the big dress, BMs or GMs, first dance, flower toss, etc. .
    Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

    ditto this.

    OP - as PPs have said having a shower is fine, as long as the guests are also <u>invited</u> to the wedding; regardless of whether they can attend the wedding or not.
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