FMIL won't leave FI alone about bridal party!

amlaplante

My FMIL won't leave FI alone about his picks for groomsmen. He chose his 4 best friends from childhood, whom he is still very close to. His brother got married last summer and chose FI as the "1st" bestman, and a friend as "2nd" bestman, and his other brother for a groomsman, plus a few other friends. It totaled up to 6 or 7 people! We don't want a giant bridal party, 4 is pushing it for us. Now my FMIL won't leave FI alone about not including his brothers as groomsmen, even though we are already making them ushers and his oldest brother is our officiant! She always has these snarky little side comments about how he is choosing his friends over his brothers. It's driving me crazy! This damn family has so many opinions about everything! I can deal with it because I love FI, but I kinda wanna poke her in the eye sometimes!

jennyfly

I kind of want to poke her in the eye for you.  It isn't her choice.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fmil-wont-leave-fi-alone-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6a93d91-a9cf-459f-9784-849c08c2321ePost:570e1fea-3673-4c6d-a9d0-4af0199dc06d">FMIL won't leave FI alone about bridal party!</a>:
[QUOTE]This damn family has so many opinions about everything! I can deal with it because I love FI, but I kinda wanna poke her in the eye sometimes!
Posted by amlaplante[/QUOTE]
It only gets worse as time goes by, especially if you have children. Be forewarned.

betrothed123

This has nothing to do with you, and is not your battle to fight.  Ignore her.

mags0607

I know it can get frustrating, but this is Fi's battle to fight with his mother. Just tune her out and try and change the subject. It is your Fi's choice to include who HE wants in his wedding party, not hers. Weddings should not be tit for tat, when it comes to bridal parties, and it doesn't sound like his brothers are that upset about it. Your Fi sounds like he is handling it well, so just try and restrain from poking her in the eye. : )

georgia_bride09

At the end of the day, it isn't her decision, so all your FI can do is repeat "I appreciate your opinion, but I've already made my choices" as necessary.

But like sara said, those opinions will not be going away. GL.

beatlesgirl25

Get under a blanket, set up a camera, and tell FMIL to LEAVE FI ALOOONE!!!1! Just kidding.

Let your FI deal with it, and just support however he chooses to handle his mom.

JaimeeP

Balanced pictures are more important than the family's feelings?

amlaplante

No, who my FI wants in his bridal party is more important. We decided before we were even officially engaged who would be in our bridal party, and who would be ushers. I just don't understand why it's such a big deal to his mother that her son's are groomsmen and/or bestman. His brothers are ushers and one is our officiant, but that still is not good enough for her and that's what is hard for both my FI and I to understand. She is very tradition and had her sisters as her bridesmaids back when she married my FI's father in 1978. It's what she thinks is "proper".

MyNameIsNot

In many areas is it a very public slight to exclude siblings from the wedding party. 

MairePoppy

MyName - good explanation about why FMIL is concerned. In my family, that would be a serious insult to leave siblings out.
Couldn't the ushers be considered part of the wedding party? They could dress the same as the GM and be included in the processional.