I hope I don't need to do THAT too many times...

aurianna

We're having an adult only wedding and my uncle and aunt's RSVP came in and they wrote in their 13-year old son despite the invite's only having their names on it. I just had to call and try to explain it was adults only. I feel so bad. He said he'd never heard of an adult-only wedding before and he'd have to get back to me.
Hope that doesn't happen again.

Who else was in the same boat? How many do you think I can expect...

MissLeahM

We had plenty of those, even some people who wrote in friends for their children. But we did have a children-included reception. 

You'll get used to it. 

courtney1188

He sai that he'd never HEARD of an adults-only wedding? Wow.

akhensley81

I had to make several of those phone calls. It sucks, but stick to your guns. I probably had to set 5-6 people straight on that... and we had 1 (H's cousin) who threw a stink and decided not to come.

Rosie109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hope-dont-need-many-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6db05c3-aaff-4ce6-98e6-315cc15c250aPost:ff1d07ca-59c0-44fb-92f9-74d24ad2467d">I hope I don't need to do THAT too many times...</a>:
[QUOTE]We're having an adult only wedding and my uncle and aunt's RSVP came in and they wrote in their 13-year old son despite the invite's only having their names on it. I just had to call and try to explain it was adults only. I feel so bad.<strong> He said he'd never heard of an adult-only wedding before and he'd have to get back to me.</strong> Hope that doesn't happen again. Who else was in the same boat? How many do you think I can expect...
Posted by aurianna[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not like it's a hard idea to understand. Adults. Only. </div>

[Deleted User]

We experienced this as well. While we permitted kids at our wedding, we had people writing in their children's boyfriends/girlfriends and even my uncle's little step grand-daughter. It is was so annoying and I felt like the biggest b!tch, but that was the way it had to be bc we didn't have the space or money to accomodate them.

kimp67

Ugh that sucks.  Another thing to look forward to I guess!

NatandIsaac

Wow, he needs to be back to you? I have heard of people declining an invitations because their small child cannot attend, but a 13 yr old? Gee, does he need a babysitter?

aurianna

He said he had to talk to his wife (which is understandable).

I understand it's a hardship; I don't know if her parents are still in the picture or not. But I know he has friends. When I was 13 I would have much rather stayed over at a friend's house for the day than travel 3 hours each way, sit through a Catholic mass, eat food covered in wine sauce and then sit around as the only minor in the entire room full of dancing and drinking adults.
But maybe I was a weird kid.

I hope my aunt's feelings aren't too hurt and that the rest of the family doesn't get bent out of shape.

The part of the story I left out was my major faux-pas. One of my uncle's other son's was invited. However he's not 21 until 2 months after the wedding. I didn't know this until I'd already asked for his address, told him to save the date, etc. So I was stuck between UNinviting my 20 year old cousin or risk making anyone who found out about his only being 20 (most likely ONLY my uncle and aunt unless they get vindictive and tell my FI's family) mad. I selfishly chose to make the exception because I wanted my cousin there.
Now I think that was probably a mistake since my uncle asked what an adult was and I said 21 (I should have said 20. *forehead slap*) and he immediately snapped at me that his other son wasn't 21 (which I find odd too. Would he have been happier if I hadn't invited two of his sons?). I explained my mistake and said that he is the only exception and that my FI has several minor cousins that we were also not able to invite.

I just feel so icky inside.
So another cautionary tale is make sure you know for a fact that certain people are a certain age if you're setting an age limit.

Also, I guess be prepared. Because even if you mention on the website that it's an adult evening, and even if you address the invitations to just certain people, and even if you send separate invitations to the 22 and 27 year olds also living in the house, some people may just not understand. So prepare your speil...

NuggetBrain

I think this is one of the biggest annoyances of me regarding weddings.  When people think they should be able to bring whoever and how many people they want (outside of established couples going with each other).  You aren't paying for it.  How f*cking rude to just pencil people in.  Obviously I don't want you to come with more than X number of people, or with anybody other than Y, so don't write sh*t in.  Jerkoff.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hope-dont-need-many-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6db05c3-aaff-4ce6-98e6-315cc15c250aPost:89f995d6-0e9d-4ecf-b06d-2b7192a3d941">Re: I hope I don't need to do THAT too many times...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to I hope I don't need to do THAT too many times... : It's not like it's a hard idea to understand. Adults. Only. 
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]


Apparently it is for people who think it's okay to take their kids everywhere. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

[Deleted User]

Fortunately the issue of children is a problem I haven't really had to deal with mainly because we are older and, if our friends have children, they are grown, but I am amazed that people WANT to bring young children to a wedding.  It's just not a child friendly event unless the wedding is very casual, and I would hope people would realize that.

annagtz82

I haven't sent my invites out yet but I'm sure I'll have something like that happen. I have many cousins with small children. I have already tried to spread that word that it's an adult reception just to give them the heads up. My aunt had an adult wedding also and alot of my cousins with small children didn't go to her wedding. So I'm prepared for people to decline coming becuase their children are not invited. I'm ok with that. It's less people to pay for )

kcscejal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hope-dont-need-many-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6db05c3-aaff-4ce6-98e6-315cc15c250aPost:0a7fe792-2c6e-4e70-adda-f417b578521a">Re: I hope I don't need to do THAT too many times...</a>:
[QUOTE]Fortunately the issue of children is a problem I haven't really had to deal with mainly because we are older and, if our friends have children, they are grown, but I am amazed that people WANT to bring young children to a wedding.  It's just not a child friendly event unless the wedding is very casual, and I would hope people would realize that.
Posted by Alexmom2[/QUOTE]
People do have weddings with children present  that aren't "very casual."

AlmostMrsStrong

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hope-dont-need-many-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6db05c3-aaff-4ce6-98e6-315cc15c250aPost:8c361403-3b0c-40d1-a537-cba8cf4f7986">Re: I hope I don't need to do THAT too many times...</a>:
[QUOTE]He said he had to talk to his wife (which is understandable). I understand it's a hardship; I don't know if her parents are still in the picture or not. But I know he has friends. When I was 13 I would have much rather stayed over at a friend's house for the day than travel 3 hours each way, sit through a Catholic mass, eat food covered in wine sauce and then sit around as the only minor in the entire room full of dancing and drinking adults. But maybe I was a weird kid. I hope my aunt's feelings aren't too hurt and that the rest of the family doesn't get bent out of shape. The part of the story I left out was my major faux-pas. <strong>One of my uncle's other son's was invited. However he's not 21 until 2 months after the wedding.</strong> I didn't know this until I'd already asked for his address, told him to save the date, etc. So I was stuck between UNinviting my 20 year old cousin or risk making anyone who found out about<strong> his only being 20</strong> (most likely ONLY my uncle and aunt unless they get vindictive and tell my FI's family) mad. I selfishly chose to make the exception because I wanted my cousin there. Now I think that was probably a mistake since<strong> my uncle asked what an adult was and I said 21 (I should have said 20. *forehead slap*)</strong> and he immediately snapped at me that his other son wasn't 21 (which I find odd too. Would he have been happier if I hadn't invited two of his sons?). I explained my mistake and said that he is the only exception and that my FI has several minor cousins that we were also not able to invite. I just feel so icky inside. So another cautionary tale is make sure you know for a fact that certain people are a certain age if you're setting an age limit. Also, I guess be prepared. Because even if you mention on the website that it's an adult evening, and even if you address the invitations to just certain people, and even if you send separate invitations to the 22 and 27 year olds also living in the house, some people may just not understand. So prepare your speil...
Posted by aurianna[/QUOTE]

I would have assumed that adult meant 18+. I know I'd be incredibly offended if someone told me I couldn't attend an "adult" event, just because my 21st birthday isn't until February. Also, doesn't you uncle realize that including a 20 year old in an adult-only event and including a 13 year old in an adult-only event are two<strong> totally</strong> different things?

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hope-dont-need-many-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6db05c3-aaff-4ce6-98e6-315cc15c250aPost:3052197d-26c7-4e82-b3ea-492832cd2480">Re: I hope I don't need to do THAT too many times...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I hope I don't need to do THAT too many times... : I would have assumed that adult meant 18+. I know I'd be incredibly offended if someone told me I couldn't attend an "adult" event, just because my 21st birthday isn't until February. Also, doesn't you uncle realize that including a 20 year old in an adult-only event and including a 13 year old in an adult-only event are two totally different things?
Posted by AlmostMrsStrong[/QUOTE]

Mom and I decided 21 in big part because it's open bar and we didn't want to have to deal with certain liability issues. That was the age we set when we made guest list cut offs (thankfully I don't think there was a single 20 year old in either family, so I guess 20 is the official cut off).
With the exception of the 20 year old I thought was 21, we decided no one not of legal drinking age with an open bar sitting there.

But I get your point. Whether we said adult was 16, 18 or 21, 13 isn't it.
I still haven't heard back from him.