Let me preface this with an "I'm sorry this is long".
I don't know what to do. This girl who I used to be pretty good friends with in college is getting married. We have stayed in touch since then and for a while were able to hang out as I lived in the same city as her (I've since moved for a job). Well last month I was invited to her bridal shower via facebook. I didn't really think that it was appropriate to be invited that way, but it wasn't a big deal. Unfortunately I was unable to attend, but I asked for her address so that I could send her and her soon to be husband an invitation to my own shower/wedding later this year.
At the beginning of June, I deactivated my facebook for personal reasons but was really excited for my friend's wedding invitation to arrive in the mail. Nothing came. For other reasons, I re-activated my facebook this week. The day that I did it I got a message from her saying "Hey, I was going to send you a paper invite but I didn't have your address. I wanted to let you know I'm getting married this Saturday. It would be great if you and [FI] could make it"
Here is what I don't understand:
1. She has both my number and FI's phone number, why didn't she call/text us for our address?
2. If she lost our numbers, why didn't she reciprocate the question on facebook before I deactivated it? It's not like you forget when your getting married or when you are sending out your invitations.
3. Why would she think it would be ok to send me a facebook message with less than a week to her wedding?
Realistically, FI and I have a cake consultation (it was one of the few times that fit both of our schedules) and we wouldn't have been able to make it. That being said, I had already decided that if a paper invitation came in the mail that I was going to send a gift. But now I feel as though that facebook invite is more like an insult and a slap in the face.
FI doesn't know what to do so I figured I could get some advice here. My main question is, should I send a gift?