I have a few questions regarding invitation & announcement etiquette…

Sassenach1743

1. Between FI and I we have four cousins who all just started college. They live in the dorms. While I understand that they are to receive their own invitations and not be included on their parents invitations, due to their age… Where do I send them? When I was in college and living in the dorms, I kept my permanent mailing address as my parents home. Is that okay to do in this case? 

 

2. We are keeping our guest list at 75. We are inviting 100, but with a few out of state friends and relatives that we know will not be able to travel, we are expecting only 75 to actually attend. However, we are prepared to accommodate all 100 guests in the rare case that absolutely everyone decided to attend. That being said, I am limiting +ones to only the few single friends of mine that will not know anyone else at the wedding. When I say a few single friends I mean: 3 people. I'm fine with this, I can accommodate their guests within my budget and head count. My questions is: Can I invite said cousins mentioned above in question #1 without a guest? Being that they are only 18, are not in relationships, and will know other family members at the wedding… I really can't add more people to accommodate guests for them, can I get away with this?

 

3. We are not inviting our entire families (obviously) for several reasons; we want a small wedding, we are only inviting our nearest and dearest family and friends, we don't feel comfortable inviting cousins and relatives that we don't have relationships with/ never see/ never speak to/ some we haven't met/ they all live across the country, etc. But our parents want to announce our marriage and are planning to send announcements (after the wedding) to those relatives. We are not expecting gifts, it's not about that at all. Is this okay? My Mom is pretty set on sending announcements to these people.

 

Thank you in advance for advice!

Avion22

1.  I would send separate invitations to the permanent address (parent's address).  Dorm mail seems to get lost. 

2.  It's fine not to give single people +1s, or to extend +1s to only certain people.   Keep in mind that if the cousins start dating anyone before invitations go out, you should invite the SO.  But if they are single, you don't need to give them +1s.

3.  It's fine to send an annoucement after the wedding (usually 1-2 days).  I did this for my first wedding.  It's not a request for gifts at all, just an announcement to let them know that you tied the knot.  

s-aries8990

As a recent college grad, send the invites to the house, and if they aren't in a relationship, they don't need +1's. Unless those 3 tell the entire guest list that they got +1's, no one will even know. Marriage announcements are fine after the wedding, and usually they don't mean a gift in return. If you do recieve one, follow with proper TY protocol

missglinda14

1. At my college, I got mail and packages all the time. Every school is different, though. I would ask the parents or the cousins themselves if they want the invite sent to them directly or to their parent's house.

2. I think you are fine, etiquette wise, here.

3. Same as #2

SKPM

Re: 1, I asked my guests in college where to send their invitation, and all 6 or so gave me their dorm or school address. My sister was studying abroad at the time, so I sent one to her overseas and she enjoyed sharing it with her Danish host family. Just ask them!

wrigleyville

Everything sounds perfectly fine to me. Ditto on asking the cousins where they'd like their mail sent. I never had issues getting mail when I lived in the dorms, and any time someone sent something to my parents' address, my parents would turn around and mail it to me anyway.

If you're concerned, you could always let them know when you mail it so they can keep their eye out for it. My cousin did that recently, and sure enough, I never got the invitation. I emailed him a week later to confirm he sent it (he had), so he sent me a text with the details and I emailed my RSVP.

DramaGeek

I preferred getting my mail at school.  Otherwise my mom had to send it to me, or it had to wait until I was home again, or (worst option) she had to open it and tell me what it was.