Just out of curiosity...Re: Dress Codes at Weddings

emilykathleen511

So the post down the page a little ways about telling guests how to dress is making me wonder. Everyone was saying black tie, white tie, and venue requirements are the only time attire should be mentioned with regard to a wedding.

What about costume parties? I know they are not all that common, but I know especially around Halloween it comes up. Are costume weddings improper? Or is this one other exception? If this is not an exception, is it EVER proper to host a costume party? I would think the logic for a reception would extend to any party. If you shouldn't dictate attire for one party, you shouldn't for another. The fact that it's a wedding reception shouldn't change the etiquette rule. Sorry if I am way overthinking this.

AddieCake

If you are throwing a costume party, you would want guests to know that, but you also shouldn't be mad if they choose not to come in costume.

misshart00

I think it's pretty obvious when its a costume party. 'You're invited to a costume party.' Everyone knows what that is just based on the theme. There's still no need to put on the invitation, 'please wear a costume.' KWIM?

NOLAbridealmost

A costume wedding would be odd, but is an exception, but the key is that costumes MUST be optional.

Inviting guests to a "Masked/Masquerade/Costume Reception to Follow.  Costumes Invited"  is fine. 

emilykathleen511

Okay, that makes sense. Thank you!

s-aries8990

Costume parites are different because they deviate from the normal expectations. This would also include noting that the wedding will take place on the beach (in the sand and appropriate footwear is encouraged via website, not in invite), that shoulders must be covered because of religious reasons (ok to go on invite), or that the country club requires men to wear a collared shirt and/or blazer (also ok to go on invite). It's fine to note on an insert that costumes are encouraged because there really is no other way to convey that on a mass scale.

Asking that women wear dresses and men wear jackets to your run-of-the-mill (but ever so special) function hall wedding just because you want them to, however, is unacceptable because it's telling your guests that they don't know how to dress. In the other circumstances, there are deviations from the general expectations.

TheBaysideBride

hahaha i would love to be invited to a costume party wedding. that's funny.

MsYeck

I have been to a goth themed wedding and a renascence wedding. Nothing is fun about hot itchy velvet in 70 degrees, and goth opens the door to way too much tight or skimpy clothing. I saw more Carmel toes, beer guts, ass cracks, and crotch than I ever care to see.

s-aries8990

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-out-of-curiosityre-dress-codes-at-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d84efb2c-4eb6-43ce-a72b-77bab7f2ee07Post:7bb5bcf3-6677-4038-b7da-e2dca8dea1e3">Re:Just out of curiosity...Re: Dress Codes at Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Just out of curiosity...Re: Dress Codes at Weddings: I agree with this except that it's okay to go on an invite. I would at least out the attire notes<strong> listed on a separate insert.</strong>
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
That's what was in my head but Friday brain decided it didn't want to include that phrase.

Jen4948

Well, you can't use them as an entrance bar at weddings.

Me, I'm not a fan.  If I'm already spending lots of money on a gift and travel to a wedding, I don't want to be asked to shell out for a costume too.

lovesclimbing

I guess I really don't see a problem with writing a dress code on invitations.  No matter what you put on there (even if it's "black tie"), you have no guarantees that people will follow it.

I don't see a dress code as telling adults how to dress or saying they don't know how to dress.  I see it as giving a guideline so they won't embarrass themselves if they misinterpreted the formality of the invitation or if they're used to a certain type of wedding.

emilykathleen511

No sign of him yet. My ticker is slightly off though; my due date was yesterday. Hopefully soon! Thanks for asking! :