Wedding Etiquette Forum

Dress madness

I just need to vent more than anything.  I'm just getting peeved. 

I am buying my sister her maid of honor dress.  I already told her it really needed to be under $50.  I have shown her many.  Everything I picked out she thought was plain, ugly, a "nightgown" was described for the last one.  It was a lovely Watters & Watters gown on ebay for $25.  I have shown her what I thought was pretty gowns that were appropriate for my semi-formal wedding. 

Everything she has shown me that she liked is adorned with jewels, long and flowy, just super fancy and way out of my price range and seem more appropriate for prom. 

Aren't bridesmaid dresses suppose to be more simple as to not take away from the brides dress?  It is MY wedding, is suppose to be my day.  I really want the focus to be on my dress ya know? 

Re: Dress madness

  • Just give her 50 dollars to contribute to the cost of the dress she really wants. She can pay for the rest.
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  • I'm having to pay for the dress because she cannot.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-madness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d97c807a-16f9-4441-9180-b0f81f3884c6Post:8e64512f-b810-4201-a198-cfab2043392d">Re: Dress madness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm having to pay for the dress because she cannot.
    Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

    If she can't pay for the dress, she doesn't need to be so incredibly picky...

    That's just my opinion though. Not necessarily good etiquette.
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  • Unless your dress is incredibly plain, and your sister's incredibly ornate, there's no risk of her outshining you.  What there is a risk of, is her being way too picky considering she's not buying the blasted thing.  You and your sister, it appears, have different tastes.  That's fine, but the dress is one thing that, within reason, you are allowed to put your foot down on.  That goes double if you're footing the bill.

     I think it's time to give her a deadline: "Sister, if you want me to pay for your dress, I need a selection that meets these criteria and within this price range by date X.  Otherwise, I can pick a dress for you, or you can continue searching for one that you can afford on your own."


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  • If she can not pay for it tell her that she is welcome to show you any dress within budget, not things you can not afford. Dresses are not supposed to be "plain" as to not take away from you, they should be affordable & comfortable for the person wearing them. I promise people will not forget who the bride is & lavish attention on the bridesmaids.
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  • She will not take away from you. There will be no confusion on who the bride is. And it would be best to get the "it's MY day" mentality out of your head now.

    Like a PP said, I'd just tell her you have $50 to spend. These are the dresses you can afford. If she has her heart set on something extravagant, she would have to cover that cost. If you are gracious enough to pay, she shouldn't be so picky. Having said that, you do want her to be in something she feels comfortable wearing, so keep looking and try to be patient with her.
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  • On the rare occasions when I've seen the MOH in a fancier dress than the bride, the bride still stood out because she the glowing, happy one saying the vows at the front of the room.  Stop worrying.

    Personally, I'd tell your sister that her budget is $50, tell her what color to pick, and let her pick a dress.  If she looks totally over-dressed, she'll look ridiculous, not you.
  • I was just upset that she wasn't being respectful of the budget and would only look at really expensive dresses on websites like net-a-porter.

    I am just going to let her pick what she wants and if it is in my budget I can buy it for her.   I tried to let her know she would look out of place if the dress was overly fancy.  I would feel silly if I was wearing something like that and everybody else was wearing their Sunday best.  My dress isn't big and fancy and the reception isn't either, last thing I want is my sister to be uncomfortable in what she is wearing and not enjoy herself.
  • If you can't afford those dresses, and neither can she, it's probably a moot point anyway, KWIM?  If you are worried about her comfort, show her the other dresses, and the dress code for the event, so she has a visual reference.  Otherwise, just let the budget do the deciding.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-madness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d97c807a-16f9-4441-9180-b0f81f3884c6Post:15b9d141-c036-4703-a809-4f46e16b343e">Re: Dress madness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was just upset that she wasn't being respectful of the budget and would only look at really expensive dresses on websites like net-a-porter. I am just going to let her pick what she wants and if it is in my budget I can buy it for her.   I tried to let her know she would look out of place if the dress was overly fancy.  I would feel silly if I was wearing something like that and everybody else was wearing their Sunday best. <strong> My dress isn't big and fancy and the reception isn't either, last thing I want is my sister to be uncomfortable in what she is wearing and not enjoy herself.
    </strong>Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

    Well if she picks it out she will be comfortable. Sounds like she has a much different taste than yours. Just tell her that she needs to find a dress that is 50.00 and that unfortunately you don't have time to look at dresses over that price range as you can not afford it. So tell her that unless it is under 50.00 then you won't even really look at it.

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