I couldn't find my answer in previous posts

ILoveToRobot

so here's my invitation question.

I am inviting a household with 3 adults and 1 child. Two of the adults are in a relationship but not married and they are providing housing, food etc. for the other two people living there (younger brothers). The older of the two younger brothers is like 23 and contributes somewhat to the household but extremely little.

The only reason I bring up who contributes what is because the eldest brother is pretty much taking care of the younger two. So, I thought maybe it's kind of a dependant situation. Can I just send 1 invitation? Is it really THAT bad of an etiquette faux pas? FWIW they're the last people I'd think of to even know that adults are supposed to have their own invite...

staceycaine

Proper etiquette is that each adult gets their own. So the 23-year-old would get his own.

I don't know "how bad" of a faux pas it is. I can tell you that we MAY break this rule just to simplify (because the "adults" in question for us are in college--I'm not sending them to a dorm, and they won't know or remember to send their RSVP back). Then again, it might be even simpler still to just go ahead and send the separate invite--it won't save much money, and it would be easier for our "and guest" situations for each "kid."

I can also tell you that I STILL get invites to my mom's house. I'm 30. I have not lived with her for 6 years. Same with FI. Around here, no one knows that rule. So, really, only you can answer "how bad" it would be to do it--it might be better received here than where you are.

MyUserName1

I would send the 23-year-old his own invitation.

The others probably do not handle his social calendar.

SilverLining1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couldnt-answer-previous-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d988374a-4c78-461f-80a9-764c1a97622fPost:82b54a4b-fe47-465b-ada0-e0f4acf3d89b">Re: I couldn't find my answer in previous posts</a>:
[QUOTE]Proper etiquette is that each adult gets their own. So the 23-year-old would get his own. I don't know "how bad" of a faux pas it is. I can tell you that we MAY break this rule just to simplify <strong>(because the "adults" in question for us are in college--I'm not sending them to a dorm, and they won't know or remember to send their RSVP back).</strong> Then again, it might be even simpler still to just go ahead and send the separate invite--it won't save much money, and it would be easier for our "and guest" situations for each "kid." I can also tell you that I STILL get invites to my mom's house. I'm 30. I have not lived with her for 6 years. Same with FI. Around here, no one knows that rule. So, really, only you can answer "how bad" it would be to do it--it might be better received here than where you are.
Posted by staceycaine[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't know if you meant that for those particular adults, but I would take offense to that. I'm in college, and most people I know know how to RSVP to a wedding. I'd probably feel slightly offended if I didn't get my own invitation, but I'd definitely be offended if it were because it was assumed that I'm incapable of sticking an envelope in the mail.</div>

staceycaine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couldnt-answer-previous-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d988374a-4c78-461f-80a9-764c1a97622fPost:18ac5bb4-144a-4f67-b7a1-e5f52be4d944">Re: I couldn't find my answer in previous posts</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I couldn't find my answer in previous posts : I don't know if you meant that for those particular adults, but I would take offense to that. I'm in college, and most people I know know how to RSVP to a wedding. I'd probably feel slightly offended if I didn't get my own invitation, but I'd definitely be offended if it were because it was assumed that I'm incapable of sticking an envelope in the mail.
Posted by SilverLining1[/QUOTE]

Yup, those particular ones. The girls would. The boys wouldn't. And I don't know if the girls would, honestly. Around here, like I said, I still get them to my mom's house (and that DOES offend me, but it didn't when I actually lived there as an adult).

Kate61487

I'd send the 23 year old his own because, like PP said, he has his own social calendar.  The other two will likely decide whether to go together, and they'll very likely be making the decision for the kid, but the 23 yr old would make the decision on his own.